Ronaldo

I'd argue he deals better with pace than Williamson and Colo.

No. I'd assume that sooner rather than later he'd have us challenging for it.

Erm, we're 18th, one place off 17th. We're not backed by sovrins.

This is a fucking fabulous example of making up what you didn't see and don't know.

Nor is anyone, if your definition of special exceeds challenging for the top 4.

That's just not true. Who else is sensible? I'd take all of them over Pardew in a second, don't get me wrong.

Aye, finishing 4th with no money.

Davies is a good shout but he didn't have the U-21 career Taylor had.

Moyes is really the only sensible choice from that list. Shame he's unrealistic because he'd have us finishing top half comfortably in spite of the shambolic start.

Anything really to suggest De Boer wouldn't fall flat on his face like Magath or Pepe Mel, by the way?

No. He's only been called up once and didn't make the squad through injury. Taylor's sat on the bench at least twice without coming on.

Has anyone come as close to an England cap without actually getting one?

A good finish and a penalty against Palace reserves is good enough for a player of the month nomination now.

I understand the admiration for Zidane but it's utterly ridiculous to even suggest he's in Ronaldo's league.

He's won four league titles in the best two leagues in the world. Everyone would pick him in that scenario, though some won't admit it.

Ian still pushing the idea that Colo is somehow our most influential player instead of a coward and utter liability.

He said that? Get in.

We really are extraordinarily adept at signing players with no bollocks or ambition.

I know completely where Keane's coming from, like. Though he probably should have known what to expect from a mincer like Savage.

Of course. Though you'd both pick Ronaldo over him in an instant if your lives depended on your team winning the title. It's old guff.

Zidane was better.

Scott Sloan Who?

There's a massive difference between 'wanting him' and taking him over Pardew. Nobody wanted him.

I recently found out that he'd won every single amateur boxing match he had in his teens. That's a guy with bite, to be fair.