Ronaldo

You what?

So a maximum of 12 more games for us? Guess we better enjoy them and hope his body holds out.

What a joke Pardew is.

Nobody in their right mind is going to choose Liverpool over Man U, man.

Nobody did. Clueless. I'd rather have Rooney in my team. End of.

Only if you don't watch much football, and I know you don't. Get back to defending Pardew.

Those 3 are all about the same level. I'd probably rather have Rooney than any of them if pushed, though.

I can't think of anyone clearly better than him outside of Messi and Ronaldo. He's top bracket.

He's a great, great player who's become pretty underrated in the last few years.

You've got the craziest memory, man It's pretty damn good but you don't forget utter bollocks like that, mate.

How dare we expect a £16.5m poacher to score more than 26 goals in 4 seasons? Delusional.

The midfield couldn't dominate a pub side, the forwards have all the threat of diluted bath water, nowt from out wide but the odd laugh and Santon's staging his own personal shit-the-bed tour.

I think the other areas of the pitch have been far worse, mind.

That's the third different custom title I've had in a week.

I won't. Taylor and Colo are generally a decent combination.

Bit unfair to include Glass, he was ok imo. Should have slipped in Garry Brady instead. Glass scored some important goals coming off the bench I seem to remember. Man Utd (H) 1-1 springs to mind, a SBR triple special. Think he may have scored in a European tie too. Him and Cordone definitely came on. Maybe Cordone scored too? You not thinking of Silvio Maric? Went his first year without scoring then finally got one in Europe.

Imagine Sissoko and Anita having a fight? More chance of Shola heading one in from a Krul long ball.

Smith's the worst striker I've seen start games for us.

The shining light of a shite season. Speed, Solano and Harper had good seasons too.

Exactly it. Barton the CM is a poor PL player at best. RM with Carroll to aim at is a different story.

Seamus Venison Albert Colo Bernard Solano Dyer Speed Robert Beardsley © Shearer

Where the fuck is Beardsley? EDIT: Ah.