Chris_R

A couple of Villa goals will push this clown closer to the door.

Rapidly getting to the "Come on Villa!" stage already. Putrid.

So many hoofs. We're going to have to defrost the ball at half time.

Dummett. Eurgh.

By the sounds of things, I'm so glad I'm not giving BT Sport a single penny. Utter twatbaskets.

BT Sport should be told to get lost if they want the banners taken down. They will have no venue and will their show will be ruined. They're just pushing their luck. Hold firm, tell them the banners stay. Not negotiable.

After drinking too much homebrew, I had a dream last night that I met Pardew and called him a cunt for not playing Ben Arfa. Hopefully one of the lads on BT Sport today can do that for me by proxy.

Can barely even recognise him. I realise the photographer probably took 100 shots and that was the one where he looked worst, but fuck me that's horrific. Can't see him making 50. Doesn't seem like he cares, either.

Oh, I've got grudges that go back WAY further than that. 4 years is nothing.

Everyone doesn't think that like. So some of you are still wrong then.

Now that everyone seems to think he can't pass water and would be no loss if sold, can I please take you all back to page 84?

He'll have said it as I be that's his target from the board. 48pts = Bonus.

Fair enough. Thought Obertan initially but he didn't start and played until the end. I like Gouffran for what it's worth, he's just badly used by Pardew. Bit of a poor man's Bellamy and should be played up front with another striker if at all, not shoehorned out wide as a defensive winger where he's no use.

Yes, there's plenty we can legitimately throw at Pardew but this isn't his doing.

I still have no idea who Alsoran is supposed to be.

Cracking hit. Good play from Oberbulb in the build up.

Despite Obertan's obvious shortcomings and having the mental strength of a blancmange, he does at least try to carry the ball forward and put crosses in. That's why he manages to occasionally look useful. He does have tricks, he does have pace, and he does run forward. Still should be nowhere near the team though.

Missed the first 30 minutes but didn't miss the first 30 minutes.

Colback starting YET AGAIN.

Seems to have this odd habit of getting the ball and running away from his own goal. Can't see Pardew tolerating that.

Said he takes full responsibility for a shit first half because the team he put out was too young and inexperienced.

Any sane, professional manager would.

Seems remarkably 2-footed, which is always nice to see. Scored some real crackers from outside the box with his left peg. Will probably end up at Southampton.

Sounds like a perfect centre forward for us then!

If?