Chris_R

I don't think we've even strung one pass together.

You couldn't make this shit up. Showed him on my stream barely able to walk. Ridiculous.

Likewise.

There's no way to win this is there? I'd genuinely like both teams to lose. What a horrid situation. That said, I'll be cheering Newcastle on come kickoff. We can lose everything else until the end of the season for all I care, but I do want to win this. And ideally see the scummers down at the end of the season.

Struggling to give two s***s about this. Oh well. Thanks Ashley, you thundercunt.

Sadly he's probably got infinitely more chance of replacing Janmaat than Colback.

I'm exiled in Bournemouth and I love our airshow down here, and when I lived up north I went to the Sunderland one many times. It's a good event. But it's not as if Newcastle could have one, simply because of their location. You can't do aerobatics over city centres ffs, it's just not allowed. There's a bloody good reason that most of these things take place along a long, wide seafront - Maximum spectators can see and minimum them dying if something goes tits up, which sadly on occasion it does. Such an odd bunch.

Pardew's a poor manager, but all of that was exacerbated by his unsackability. There was never a time you felt he was under pressure, despite being every bit as shit as people who otherwise got the bullet. That's why I hated him, not so much for his incompetence, but because it seemed impossible that he'd ever leave and that things would therefore get better. In the end, he still didn't get sacked. He wasn't the worst manager ever, but he clearly wasn't good enough. And the longer he occupied the dugout, the more depressing things got. We got a glimmer of hope with him leaving, but it now looks quite possible that Carver will just carry on where Pardew left off - being shit and unsackable. It's the lack of hope that kills you.

I'm in Total agreement. We need a Welcome Break from this debate. Esso boring. Agreed, continuing this crude debate is fuelish in my eyes. Well well well, seems someone's ignited the usual punhouse extravaganza. Oil be off.

£25 on Arsenal -2 at 15/4.

I was the same until I just stuck £25 on Arsenal to beat us by 3 or more at 15/4. Still, not sure how I'm going to make the second 45 minutes interesting...

"Prod it with spoons"

That photo shows that high-res cameras are not necessarily a good thing. That man is getting paid thousands of pounds per week and he can't be bothered to sort his own teeth out. What fucking hope have the team got?

If I was a striker and Riviere kept getting games ahead of me whilst a Neanderthal face-licking chav stuck me in midfield every week, I'd probably give up too. Just saying.

Personally I don't get the Gouffran hate. He's a forward. A small, mobile, hard-working forward. He's being played massively out of position as a defensive winger or a central midfielder. People then complain that he's shit at it. OF COURSE HE IS. I'm not saying he's the same calibre, or even the same type of player. But can you imagine Craig Bellamy excelling at those roles? Or Aguero? Or Shane Long? Maybe Gouffran is a good player, maybe he's a bad player. But one thing's for certain, it is utterly impossible to judge someone - anyone - when they're played so vastly and repeatedly out of position. All we're proving is that he's a shit midfielder. Or a shit defensive winger. Yeah, OK, Tim Krul's probably a shit forward, what's your point? That said, I groan as loudly as anyone when Gouffran plays but only because he offers nothing in the positions in which he's picked. It's very hard to blame him for that though.

So, will Gouffran be hung out to dry by Carver after the match like a Abeid was? Anyone want to place their bets?

What are you on about? It's been over since January 3rd.

Wow, this is shit. I really hope we don't get anything from this because Carver will be wanking himself int a frenzy over it when really it's the most tame, awful game I've seen in ages between 2 sides that just don't want to play football.

How the f*** did Riviere not even get a shot away there? Edit: Fucking airshot when 1 on 1. What a tit.

Mind the lack of pace and penetration in this Man U side is laughable. Proper shitoff, this one.

We're doing a worse impression of a football team than Lee Ryder does of a journalist.

Jesus, can someone with a boltgun put Colo out of his misery.

Yes, you just know it'll be used as a stick to beat the players he doesn't like and his mates'll never have to wear it. Can you imagine Willo, Colback or Obertan being asked to don that despite being worse at football than I am at the fucking ski jump?

Lerl.