Chris_R

If I were you I'd just go back out while you still have options this evening.

This is already looking horribly rapey.

He is. It's a fucking disgrace. I'm sat here pretty much shaking with rage. Pardew must have nothing but shit for brains.

Any reason why? Anita's crying out for a run of games IMO. Because Antia and Tiote are too similar. Having 2 sitting midfielders was part of our problem last year, Jonas can actually dribble (not much else) and won't be asked to pick up the ball from extremely deep. Tiote and Anita aren't similar at all. Anita can pass a football 5 yards.

This. Tiote out for Anita too please. I'd be fucking raging if I was Anita or Marveaux. 2 decent footballers consigned to the bench for Tiote and Jonas. It's enough to make you weep.

Thought we got him for around £4m due to a release clause? Though I've drank a lot since then, I don't think I'm that far out.

Well it seems Pardew has achieved his goal from those quotes that he was throwing round by getting someone to put a bid on for Cabaye. Now it's down to JFK to try and squeeze every penny they can from them. Reckon we'll get about £15m two hours before the deadline shuts, leaving us no time to do anything other than pretend to bid for someone ridiculous.

It's hollow and pointless saying we can't compete with Man City financially. We know that ffs. What was infinitely more disgusting was when he said we couldn't compete financially with fucking Southampton. What's even more disgusting is that it's probably the truth.

Needs sectioning for that.

From how I understand it works, anything good he does it'll be "Swindon superstar Nile Ranger", whereas anything bad he does will be "Former Newcastle Ace Nile Ranger". I believe they are the rules that all news outlets operate by.

The old Barton deep delivery to Carroll, who wins the header then Nolan cleans up is a proven recipe for success. Pretty ugly, but bloody effective.

Was hoping it would be "shield stamps".

His best position is not wide in a 4-4-2. It's wide in a 4-3-3. There's a massive difference in roles.

He'd be a better fullback than Simpson, but I wouldn't advocate playing him there. You put your best players in their best positions.

We'll be wasting 2 very good players in Remy and HBA in order to accommodate 1 player. I don't see how that's good. If we're going to play 2 up top in a 4-4-2 (or 4-2-4, if if makes you feel better to call it that, but this is Pardew not Keegan), we need to sell Ben Arfa and replace him with 2 good wingers. Or play Jonas and Obertan on the wings, because terrifying as it is, they're the best 2 wingers we've got. Remy can play CF so he can go on the bench or displace one of Cisse or Gomis. If the reality of this post fills you with terror, then you can see why we need to play 4-3-3. If this post does not fill you with terror, then congratulations: You are Alan Pardew. Just stick HBA and Remy on the wings and tell yourself it'll be alright.

Pardew needs his head kicking in if he tries to play 4-4-2 with this squad. HBA is no right winger. Remy is no left winger. Especially how Pardew plays wingers, ie running back to cover the fullbacks all the time. However both Remy and HBA make great inside forwards in a 4-3-3. Anything else is suicide.

Nice to hear Pardo getting booed.

So frustrating knowing that he won't go for it, the massive mug that he is. Cisse Remy HBA Sissoko Cabaye Anita If I thought we were going to set up like this I'd be so excited for the season. As it is I'm full of That lineup is exactly what we should play. 100%. Instead we all know it'll be: Cisse or Remy Sissoko HBA Cabaye Tiote Jonas Or even worse (and sadly probably more likely): Cisse Remy Jonas Cabaye Tiote Sissoko With HBA coming off the bench after 60 minutes.

I think we got about £6m for him which was mental because I think most of us were desperately holding out for anything Even after West Ham's stupidity I can't believe QPR then offered him a load of money. He must have the best agent in the world! He was on pay as you play at QPR. Surely that brings the National Minimum Wage into play?

I worked hard all day. I'm still a shit footballer though. Hard work is important of course, but he needs to show some talent, and personally I'm yet to see anything of note.

Having interviewed countless people over the years, I don't think I'd ever have turned someone down for having a face tattoo. Obviously in some industries it would be a no-go but generally I don't think it should be a barrier to employment per-se. However I have instantly failed people for turning up in shorts, trainers, tracksuits etc. Scruffy cunts.

So who is Ishmael on OTF2?

This is only resolved because the casino photos have made his "stance" completely untenable and shown it to be nothing more than a blatant and groundless attempt to engineer a move. So whilst he's been forced to back down over this because he was starting to look stupid, let's not kid ourselves that the underlying issues have suddenly vanished, because they won't have.

Our normal midfield 3 is Cabaye, Tiote and Jonas. It scares the living hell out of me that Pardew seems to only see dropping Tiote or Cabaye as an option to get Sissoko in there.

Thanks for that insightful summary. Most helpful.