bobbydazzla

Ever ?

If we’re 3 nowt up when the added time board goes up on 90 mins then I might be able to relax Any scenario that means we’re less than 3 goals to the good at 90 mins has my arsehole twitching like a cyclops in a hail storm.

Could say that for at least 50% of the Chelsea squad who barely get a game

Why do I feel odd when I’ve had an e

Why does Lewis Hall prefer a short sleeved shirt with a long sleeved under layer rather than a long sleeved shirt They’re the sort of questions I contemplate when I can’t get to sleep at night

I Am The Resurrection

Nice to see Lewis Hall’s dad in the crowd

Edibles

I can’t celebrate unless we’re 3 goals up, that’s how tragic our defence is

Willock’s soft, Gordon’s shite, Tino does fuck all going forward

Today

No offence but that’s the worst attempt at typing a makem accent that I’ve ever seen in my life

Jake Humphreys sent his kids to the in-laws so he could spend the evening in a restaurant doing an end of year relationship appraisal with his wife Any normal person would send the kids to the in-laws so they could get balls deep in the missus on the living room sofa after getting spangled on Prosecco and watching Naked Attraction

Liam Rosenior would rather spend his time absorbed in a corporate self-improvement book than a jazz mag

Turn the sound off and listen to a 3 hour DJ mix of 125bpm dub techno How I watch every game these days

Ref in the Chelsea huddle and we’re supposed to think he’s neutral Get to absolute fuck

Unlikely to happen, they’re smiling and appear to be enjoying what they’re watching

JUST GIVE US THOUSANDS MORE RAIL SEATS AND LET THE PEOPLE STAND YA FUCKING DOYLEMS ITS A FOOTBALL GAME NOT THE FUCKING CINEMA

The club are doing themselves no favours at all if they’re taking a draconian approach to people standing up. Even more reason to sort loads more safe standing out and let people move there. I’ve said it many times but NUFC sent an entire block at the front of the Gallowgate a “sit down or lose your ST” letter a couple of season ago. Was my preferred spot and I’d be in there most games. It absolutely killed the atmosphere.

Playing in white shirts ?

Why is it always the irritating people who get perfect signal in the ground ? The lads who take calls when the match is on then have a pointless chinwag with whoever it was who called that they couldn't possibly ignore The middle aged woman looking at her friends Xmas trees on Facebook The lad who has to shout down the phone on 3 x separate calls because his lass has lost her car keys and wants him to help her find them The countless lads who have to place in-game bets and then tell everyone what bets they've placed and how much they'll win if the bets come off, which they rarely do I wouldn't take a call at the match, wouldn't scroll at the match, wouldn't place bets at the match, yet I can't get any signal at all between the outskirts of Jesmond and SJP

Sweepstake on where they’ll put these jumbotrons ? Keep in mind that 90% of the East Stand will have glaucoma and can’t be exposed to artificial bright lights

Can have more adverts with a big screen And they can be used to add to the razzmatazz And nothing beats the edge of seat anticipation of being in the stadium when there a 7 minute microanalysis VAR review raking place on 4 x jumbotrons

Everyone's always having a pop at me. It's why I have to constantly spend my time windmilling on here. I blame the xG nonces and the Michelle Collins haters. They've organised a vendetta.