bobbydazzla

All commentators are shite, they exist on a sliding scale from annoying through to terminal ear AIDS (Tyldesley, Drury) I don’t need someone waffling away filling every available second with drivel whilst I watch sport For years now I’ve watched games with volume muted and tunes playing. It’s aurally liberating

Jesus fucking Christ man

You should see me in action. I’m like a cyberpunk sent back from the future to destroy the resale past If they made a film about it I’d be played by Rutger Hauer

I can’t even get logged in, system is so shite

Because it’d take less than a nanosecond for the Premier League & cartel to bring in new rules that made it illegal to sell NASDAQ or Dow tracker funds to football clubs

What's his xG ? Can he play as an inverted 6 or false 8 ? How warm is his heat map ? Is his plane fare to Newcastle included in amortised PSR calculations ? Until I know these answers I refuse to be excited by this signing

Some of the drubbings and capitulations during ETH's tenure though, you've been whalloped so many times recently. Who gives a shite about 55% win ratio when you're getting basketball score pummelled by your arch enemies Some simple things Man Utd could do to give the new manager a better chance: Ban Taggart from watching in the stands like the thunder faced Ghost of Trophies Past Ban Gary Neville / Roy Keane / Paul Scholes from commentating / punditting on your games. It's annoying but sometimes amusing for us lot, it must be infuriating for the manager I hope they do neither, obvz

They're not a good idea, office romances. It's like shitting on your own doorstep. Eddie's had loads of offers here, but he goes 'no way, distracting'.

I once saw a bloke and his lass whip out and eat pouches of vacuum packed hot dogs at half time No bun, no sauce, no onions. They both guzzled about 6 cold hot dogs each Would have been about £100 worth of scran if they'd bought them on the concourse Legends

Or we could have a 5 minute chat and agree there was a Gypsy Curse that was cast onto NUFC in 1969 and it's still the most powerful force controlling the fortunes of the club Even the financial might of PIF can't defeat the hex

Howe has succumbed to the same old NUFC template that I've seen in most of my 30 odd years following this mental club Weak at the back, usually beaten by the "big" sides, lacking shithousery, a squad that has too many players who simply aren't good enough to cut it at the top end of the top flight. It's the tried and tested NUFC way Why this has happened with Howe is something that's a bit of a mystery to me given that he was outstanding in his first 1.5 seasons here and we got off to a flyer last season too I love the bloke and alongside Keegan he's been the most impressive manager in my lifetime, but currently he looks like he's out of new ideas and the intensity has gone

MDubz for me like

What date does the Honkometer start from ? Cos if it’s as far back as 1904-1910 then everything since then has been absolutely honking by comparison

Michelle Collins is the only one for me, but she’ll never agree to have a no-jarmie sleepover at mine, no matter how many times I ask her via DM on Insta

I was honking at fingerblasting lasses when I was 14, should I always compare my current fingerblasting skills to how bad I was at 14, or maybe it’d be better to compare it to how class I was 2 years ago as it’s more relevant And compared to 2 years ago my fingerblasting skills are stale and sone lasses might say honking, but they’re still shitloads better than when I was 14

It depends on how you quantify rubbish I suppose I look at the way we played in 22/23 and what we’re dishing up now is rubbish in comparison I try to keep my pecker up and not get sucked into the doom mongering, but even with a PMA, at the moment I go into every game expecting us to concede at least 1 and also expecting us to fluff most of our chances And that’s exactly how the seasons playing out

But if we were allowed to spend money to build a decent squad it’d be anti-competitive and ruin the beautiful game

We’ve been rubbish