bobbydazzla

At 23.05 we'll see Ruiz moonwalking outside Craven Cottage wearing a white sequined glove and wanking off a chimpanzee. Shamone.

Justin Fashanu

Has anyone ever asked him why he has the mullet ? It's a dodgy barnet for a lad of his age.

He definitely is.

I also put this on the Bolek thread but I saw Rob Elliot in Jesmond this morning so it looks like his move is back on. I can barely contain my excrement.

I've just seen Rob Elliot in Jesmond. Why would we be signing both Bolek and Elliott ? Can one of them play left back ?

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That joke is getting really bore-ing now. Its been totally dug into the ground, and its just treading water. don't know water your talking about....

Hope Del has briefed the pilot to do a sales pitch as the plane flies into Newcastle.... "ladies and gentlemen, if you care to look out of the window on our approach you'll see the suburb of Benton, home to Newcastle United's excellent training facilities and their magnificent new borehole"

King Cnut's son was called Harthacnut. What a c*** of a name to call your kid. Going through life not even being a proper Cnut would make you feel like a right cunt. Bet if Harthacnut was still alive he'd look at his Dad and think "My old man's a right c***, but not as much of a c*** as that c*** Llambias"

Even a right c*** of a bloke would look at Llambias and say "that bloke is a right c***" He's a cunts cunt.

definitely won't be signing a left back now

"Penny wise pound foolish" should be the motto of the last 2 seasons.

This is true but tbf he has brought that all on himself, as Super Dave Osborne used to say "Mike your a putz" I don't think it is true. If he buys a LB, CB, midfielder and striker next week and they strengthen our first team and squad then many including me will shut the f*** up and get on with the season. People keep treating these things as isolated incidents which is completely mind-blowing - it's been bad decision after bad decision, with too few good ones and too much f***ing around in the transfer market when we should have money in our pocket from all of the players we've sold. The one consistent theme is a lack of ambition and doing things on the cheap above all else. Yup. It's an attempt to do business on the cheap, and if anyone says anything bad about the way NUFC is being run, they're shipped out. Especially if their wage is more than 2 farthings. And anyone who was in the group of players who confronted Ashley / Llambias after he fired Houghton also has a target on their backs. Harper has been pretty open about this in public.

Yet mike Ashley paid out a record amount in bonuses to his staff at sports direct, an average £44k for a full time worker in one of the worst periods retail has ever gone through in this country. That £44k bonus figure is misleading. The details I'd found are: The bonus is in two stages. The first bonus is 25% of base pay in shares of £1 per share. The first bonus target was underlying EBITDA of £155m in 2009-10 and was achieved in that Year. The first bonus will vest in 2012. The second bonus is 75% of base pay in shares of £1.25 per share. The second stage of the bonus was conditional upon the first bonus target being met in 2009-10, attaining underlying EBITDA of £195 million in 2010-2011, and underlying EBITDA /Net Debt ratio of two or less at the end of 2010-11. All these targets were achieved in the Year. The average salary at Sports Direct is £20,000. So I might be wrong here but by my calculations the average bonus will be about £24,000 in shares over a period of 2 years. Which is a very tidy sum but nowhere near what was quoted in the press. The staff employed at charva direct total 11,000 employees, only 2,000 of the employees are full time so they will be getting the bonus, not the 9,000 part time staff who get nothing. Most of the 2000 full time staff are managers. Hands up who has been conned by a fcb headline ? I'm presuming the average salary figure of £20,000 I'd used in my calculations is for the 2000 full time employees and excludes the part time staff ?

Yet mike Ashley paid out a record amount in bonuses to his staff at sports direct, an average £44k for a full time worker in one of the worst periods retail has ever gone through in this country. That £44k bonus figure is misleading. The details I'd found are: The bonus is in two stages. The first bonus is 25% of base pay in shares of £1 per share. The first bonus target was underlying EBITDA of £155m in 2009-10 and was achieved in that Year. The first bonus will vest in 2012. The second bonus is 75% of base pay in shares of £1.25 per share. The second stage of the bonus was conditional upon the first bonus target being met in 2009-10, attaining underlying EBITDA of £195 million in 2010-2011, and underlying EBITDA /Net Debt ratio of two or less at the end of 2010-11. All these targets were achieved in the Year. The average salary at Sports Direct is £20,000. So I might be wrong here but by my calculations the average bonus will be about £24,000 in shares over a period of 2 years. Which is a very tidy sum but nowhere near what was quoted in the press.

You can't compare those 2 transfers. I just did.

I like how they had the keys in the helicopter and a full tank of fuel when Liverpool came knocking for Carroll. But Joey's had to get the train to London.

No-one. The fat kernt wil have laid down the law: We don't need a left back cos Raylor is playing there. We don't need a striker cos Raylor is scoring goals. We don't need a right midfielder cos Raylor can play there.

Any mention of cost? Exactly my thoughts. How much of the £35m have they spent refitting the dug outs ?

Plus the 2011 summer mantra: "We've been in for world class players but unfortunately it hasn't gone our way and they've ended up at other clubs. Hopefully the fans will see that as a sign of our ambition and our willingness to invest in the squad".

The Ranger Rover was parked in Rising Sun park this afternoon.

From the vids looks like that lad started it most of it off, complete t***. Hopefully banned. I've heard different things as to how it happened. I don't know, I mean, I wasn't fighting. I'm not a hooligan. Darlo fans ran over and provoked the Newcastle fans. Apparently some steward (a women) got punched and then it escalated into that. I was near the front, got knocked over by all of the pushing and bundled onto the pitch. I got up, looked around to see where I was and then I got pushed into someone who I fell to the floor with and that's when the video picked it up. That lad I fell on top of got pulled away and the lad in the green top kicked me straight in the ribs. I'm a Newcastle fan and so was he, don't understand why he'd kick me for unless he thought I supported Darlington, or if I did something to anger him which I know I didn't as that was the first time I'd even seen the lad. I went back to my seat and kept myself away from any confrontations and stuff. I will be absolutely angered if I was to receive a ban, I don't feel like I've done anything wrong at all. (Obviously invading the pitch) but howay, so did everyone else. The second time though I couldn't help being knocked onto the field. I'd memorise that statement so you'll have no trouble reciting it when the bizzies boot your front door in and drag you out of bed by your nads at 5am.