Pilko

That has to be a pen from Onana FFS. Clatters the lad after the ball has gone.

Hell of a debut from England's Mason Nowt tonight. Really special the way he floats about, rarely touching the ball and offering absolutely bugger all in both defence and attack.

Klopp

Gary O'Neil knows this league and knows these players, he'll have them solid and working their socks off and organised. 0-2.

Ah here's our bit of airtime.

The new "player view" reminds me of:

Couldn't understand the money spent on Cucarella when he left Brighton and I've not seen him have a good game since, always seems to make mistakes. Hope we avoid despite Eddie's ability to turn water into wine. Tierney or Hall I'd be pleased with - very different in terms of experience vs potential but trust the decision either way. Get one in and it's been a superb window, just need to clear off the bomb squad before it shuts any which way we can.

Just came in to say exactly this. She's thick as fucking pigshit, doesn't have a clue about anything and she's wearing more eyeliner than fucking Noel Fielding.

Not a fan of the Chelsea spendathon much but quite funny that now poor penniless Jürgen has finally unlocked some cash to spend that nae cunt wants to go anywhere near him Really hope they end up blowing it on someone crap and not worth the Dosh now that they've shown their hand and the world knows they've got it burning a hole in their pocket. They need to sign a defensive mid or they're knacked based on the evidence of Sunday so I hope clubs absolutely take the piss out of him.

Remy in more recent times, basically kept us in the league in an otherwise horrific season.

Klopp in being massive cunt shocker. He can't help himself, it's ingrained into his soul to act like a complete and utter fucking dick no matter what the scenario.

Love that attempt at a bicey from Wissa

I assume it's been mentioned but Carlos trying to play offside in his own half for the fifth goal

Sandro Tonali in the area!

He's superb. That is all.

Lewsing to Preston

Fuck off Arteta.

Russo scores for England Treacles 2-1

Enjoyed most parts of the first episode, but still couldn't help be irritated by the insert shot of Lee fucking Ryder in his shitty green parka jacket gormlessly nodding his head during Eddie's presser.

Peter Ridsdale, Dominic Littlewood and a bunch of ex-Apprentice candidates it would seem.

I think Longstaff being missing for our mauling at Villa Park last season will play into Howe's thinking. We need his intensity and running in the midfield. Do also think Anderson will miss out which is a shame for the lad.

Ooooh don't you know?

£107m for Enzo Fernandez and 17-year old Lewis Miley absolutely took the piss out of him in pre-season.

He's the biggest cunt in football by a mile, Klopp.

My point is that their former owner is clearly corrupt as fuck and it tallies in with their decades of easy draws.