Pilko

Martinez has to be one of the worst defenders I've seen in years. 5'7 and slow as fuck, a bit like watching Warwick Davis play centre half.

Awful day today. Accrington and Wycombe firmly on the cunt list.

Good result that considering the pattern of play. Pope was excellent. Nice practice for next week's likely defendathon too.

Mings is dogshit. As if Gerrard dropped Konsa for him.

Great to see that disgusting little peroxide rat denied by the flag. Wanker

Hope that's us.

Look at those two fucking jumped up entitled twats running about on the touchline every time there's a foul or whatever. Hate the pair as managers, both shit and both arseholes.

Wilson & Welbeck 2+ SOT 13/1 (Sky) Willock FGS 18/1 (Sky) Burn card 4/1 (bet365)

That's the Championship fer ya. Anyone can beat anyone ya kneuw.

I think Gerrard is a prat and has handled the Mings thing badly through the press, but tbf there were error-strewn periods last season where Tyrone from Coronation Street would have done a better job at centre half for Villa.

Early contender for worst punts of the season there from me. 12-0 on corners to WBA

Nice of Watford to give away corner after corner to totally kill the long shots dead nice and early

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

2 sot and 3 corners for wba In 5 mins how I've missed betting.

Like that a lot. Good odds

Paddy bet builder

Watford 6+ SOT and 6+ corners 24/1 Watford 8+ SOT and 8+ corners 255/1

Watford to win with most corners in each half and most SOTs in each half 80/1 Watford to win both halves and have most corners in each half 100/1 Worth covering seeing as they're away at Bruce's WBA who we know will be crap. Both with PP.

Would like to think we'll go there and look to win the game, although I'm still conditioned into Brighton (a) meaning a shit performance and often a hammering. Draw would be alright, win would be mega.

Back to pushing invoices around and signing forms then for Wee Baldy Lee. Charnley's ideal job would be working at the Central Bureaucracy office from that episode of Futurama.

Man U are the gift that keeps on giving.

From that Villa forum

Most complete performance I can remember, possibly ever. Every single stat ludicrously in our favour and I can't remember an opposing side failing to lay a glove on us like that before. Excellent game management and made to look like a piece of piss - this must be what a proper pre season can do versus last year's opener.

Willock FGS a whopping 18/1 with Sky (9/1 with 365) - £10 on. Trippier 2+ SOT 59/1 (Coral) Bruno and Almiron 2+ SOT each (Coral) Burn and Colback carded 14/1 (Sky) Wilson to score 2 or more Newcastle win 6+ Newcastle corners 1+ Forest corners 1+ card each team 20/1