Pilko

Has he forgot his whistle?

Is it just me or is this being broadcast from a camera on the International Space Station? Seems miles away from the pitch, can barely see the players.

Karen Carney

Think this'll be one of those where we grind it out rather than the champagne performance we saw today. 1-2, Isak brace.

What a steal he was at £25m. Bags of energy, talent and a great footballing brain. Seems like a lovely lad as well.

That was a fun half. Fucking incredible. Lloris has to be one of the worst keepers in the division. I can remember him throwing goals in for us almost 10 years ago and that he's still there now is insane.

"Both teams are responsible for making goalkeepers a little more active" What's he on about?

I was there today, they played excellently against a very poor Bradford side. Looked like scoring from every wide free kick or corner as the away keeper and defence couldn't defend aerial balls for shit. Decent turnout to get 24,000. About 50-60 Bradford fans turned up, a bunch of them arrived in the Gallowgate West corner, sat at the back and started banging drums etc, and after 15 mins were made to walk all the way round to the opposite corner where the away end was by the Stewarts strange stuff.

Nervy 1-1 draw I reckon.

Making Watkins look like fucking Pele here. Absolutely shit all round, not one player has come to the table today. Hope to fuck this is a one off cos we simply can't afford to get beat next week.

That's shite by Pope

Our turn to have a strop now after watching that absolutely dogshit 45 from him there.

Trippier wandering offside like a Sunday morning player, this is the pits like. Need a Brentford style switch from Eddie at HT here.

Diving bunch of cunts this Villa side are.

That linesman is taking the piss being that close to Moreno throwing himself over like a little girl and flagging for it, wanker.

Feel like we're really missing Longstaff in the midfield here.

That reads like he's asked ChatGPT to write something in the style of George Caulkin.

Imagine him in a band, bald old git

I like ten Hag's little beard.

From Yewkraine to Yewkip & Yewtree

Only 3 quid a ticket for Sunday if booked in advance, hopefully there's a good crowd for the lasses.

Looks like that's the Heed safe, 5-2 win away at Eastleigh and onto 52 points. They could end up with a top half finish at this rate Would love them to make a few good additions in the summer and have a crack at the playoffs next year. Hopefully they can carry this form over the summer.

Ready Turk Go

As someone who knows very little about the geography of the US, what's the travel time like / time zone difference if any between those three games? Only asking as I seem to remember that pre-season under McClaren was a disaster as we spent too long jetting around and travelling and not enough time training and recovering properly etc. Of course I trust that nowadays Howe and people who've proven to know what they're doing will balance the commercial benefit of this trip with ensuring it doesn't disrupt prep for the big kick off, but still wanted to ask the question...

You'd think that two clubs who endured Bruce and came out the other side would have a bit more common kinship like. Of course like many other clubs supporters, Villa fans seem to be incredibly bitter that we landed on our feet after Ashley, so with the exception of brummie I'd say fuck the lot of them.