Pilko

Really surprised myself today, realised that my lifelong hatred of Liverpool and more recently Klopp actually outweighs the terrible feeling of seeing Bruce's shit-eating grin when he's bailed out by Willock yet again.

Lallana 2+, Brewster & Gross 1+ Bissouma & Egan cards Fleck & Gross cards

We'll still somehow lose 3-0 (Ozil x3)

Godfrey 2+ headed SOTs 250/1, free fiver.

Just a single for me, been a very irritating few weeks for bet builders being 1 line short so keeping it simple.

On the Mickey K train too. 15/1 for any centre half in the world to get a card is insane value.

Actually, shite as Shola was, he could have some top ten entries on the best assist list. Add the chest pass for Ba's late goal at Goodison, the excellent flick on for Ba's opener vs Man U and the pass for Cisse's mental second at Chelsea. I think my answer though is Sibierski's flick for Dyer's goal home to AZ, proper loved that at the time. The crapper the player the more it means when they do good things.

Shola's backheel for the Shearer record breaker is worth a mention.

The Scouse wallpushing cunts were shite and got turned over by Fulham, Burnley and Brighton at home but you just know they'll decide to switch it on and routinely duff us 3 or 4 nowt like every other year, the wankers.

Robertson/Dallas 55/1 Thiago/Roberts 28/1 Dallas, Harrison, Milner, Gini 1+ SOT 72/1

McShite. Armstrong/Tielemans 2+ SOT 66/1 JWP/Pereira 2+ SOT 166/1 Fofana/Armstrong cards 33/1

McSauce now worth £400. Come on you snide little Jock fucker, get kicking.

McSauce and AWB 80/1

Anguissa yellow & SOT - 21/1

Daft one with a free fiver Semedo and Ait Nouri 2+ SOT - 366/1

City look limp as fuck, no zest or energy about them.

And now he books James for an identical foul when I don't have him fuck right off.

"When he plays well, we win" says Bruce. There's a huge part of the 2 wins in 22 for you, this cunt played basically every minute.

Is Mikey D having a fucking laugh? No card for Fernandinho there?!

Rodri/Chilwell cards 26/1 Silva/Laporte cards 28/1 Sterling/Mount 2+ SOT 32/1

He even manages to ruin it and piss everyone off on the odd occasion he scrapes a flukey win, what a cunt.

Tells you all you need to know about the standard of the league that our repugnant boiled ham in a tracksuit could get 2 wins in 20 and then suddenly back to back wins means we're virtually safe. Hope he's either fired or succumbs to gluttony ASAP.

Pathetic negative fat wanker, bailed out (again) by a player who by rights should have told the thick cunt where to go when he was dropped ahead of Shelvey.

That bottom one needed a Lingard goal for a shade over £900, fucking annoying

Soucek/Dummett 40/1 cards Lingard 4+ SOT 22/1 Joelinton & Soucek 2+ SOT 25/1 Dawson 1+ SOT, Lingard 2+ goals, West Ham 6+ corners and Shelvey card - 305/1