Pilko

Only a stay of execution, mind. Fail to win next week and the knives will be back out.

Has consigned us to further misery by finally bothering to turn up.

Cheers Papiss you wanker.

Fuck off Papiss.

Tiote is getting absolutely merked in that midfield. He's a Sunday morning player with a smaller brain.

Best player on the pitch today, great goal. FUCK PARDEW

Shades of Riviere there

The Ginger Doylem.

Cabella is fucking shit, man. Weak as water.

Great finish. Get in.

Same old pedestrian shite. Boring, ineffective, and has away win written all over it after one of Cock Piss Pardew's half-time team talks.

QPR 1-1 Stoke Villa 1-2 Arsenal Burnley 1-0 Sunderland Newcastle 0-2 Hull Swansea 2-2 Soton West Ham 1-3 Liverpool Leicester 1-2 Man U Spurs 3-0 West Brom Everton 1-1 C Palace Man City 1-2 Chelsea

I get the impression that Coloccini doesn't particularly like Pardew much at all, but realises that any coach worth his salt would have him removed as captain and dropped within five minutes.

So it's basically the Europa League kit with a blue half-patch added and a new sponsor.

Wednesday: Quotes emerge about "standing up and being counted" in Hull game Thursday: "...if we get beat..." emerges from his latest pile of twaddle.

Cheers Lille. 8 teams won, some by 4, 5 or even 6 goals - and you get a draw at home to fucking Krosnadar, whoever the hell that is. £612 I'd have had there. Pricks

9-team Europa league accumulator - 8 teams winning; some comfortable, some just by one, and Lille currently at 1-1 (66~ mins gone in all games). Stand to win about £600 if it comes in.

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For treason and murder.

Tony Gale is such a fucking cunt.

Presenting the show from an empty Old Trafford It's like when Matt Smith used to wander round some random ground when ITV did The Championship.

Was looking at some of the prices today. Hull win 3/1 Hull -1 9/1 Hull -2 30/1 A lot of money to be made, again.

Agent Bruce with the fatal kiteslam.

Announcing the new manager... it's an inanimate carbon rod!

Really pleasing to see the man Pardew chose over Ben Arfa putting in a real captain's performance to thank his manager for the support.