Ketsbaia

I'm either bringing Ozil or Sterling in for Di Maria soon. It'll be Vertonghen for Jones next, though.

13 points, with Aguero © and Sanchez left Fuck this shit, man Di Maria subbed at half time, Phil Jones dropped, a few bookings. Only Ben Foster scored more than 2.

Oppoment has Puncheon and Downing. 4 assists, game over

Class posts

Poor Jacamo.

Dinamo Moscow, Inter, Ajax and Kiev came in. 14-1 roughly

A team full of dicks now has a rubber coating. Nice - a new, more literal way of fucking the fans.

They make it sound certain that there'll be a Dortmund overhaul and Klopp will leave - I'm not so sure. Certainly don't think we have a chance of getting Aubameyang.

Dwayne Johnson ‏@TheRock 2 minutes ago Dope & double breasted. (sounds slightly inappropriate) #1Shark #OnSet #BALLERS #HBO Premieres June. The Rock is seemingly a Pardew fan too.

Maybe he's agreed to come in the summer but say nothing about it.

It's actually really hard to fill up the quota of callers on Total Sport. I always thought loads would call up and fill the 6 slots, but most nights require outbound calls to ask fans to come on air.

They were having a good discussion earlier about defenders that run with the ball like John Stones.

I've had an ok week but still going to narrowly lose a H2H. Thats about 4 tiny defeats in a row, based on outrageously bad luck. This week, Van Aanholt and Eriksen were randomly benched, while Kieran Trippier (subbed out) got an assist.

These are in trouble again.

Does Froggy come in here? I want to know if Phil Jones is likely to walk back into the starting XI, or if Smalling will keep it.

We're about to enter an even worse run of results. Let's see how Lee will spin that.

Face-meet-keyboard stuff.

Hazard is one of the best in the world, for sure. In a way, I sometimes think he's underrated - when naming #3 after Messi/Ronaldo he never gets mentioned. I'd still probably put Aguero, Suarez or Bale there, but Hazard's in the mix.

Ron Atkinson all over again.

Of course. This will definitely happen. 100%.

He's blaming the press, so that'll end well.

Pfft, trophies. Overrated.

Poyet must be entering his final weeks now, like. They're awful and can only beat us and Burnley. Then again, with Sherwood now taken, who could they get?

If any Palace fans are reading this, I hope Pardew wipes your team off the map and robs it of a soul like he did here. We were right, you'll soon see and it'll be fucking hilarious.