Darth Crooks

At least we would be about £7,000 up the jackpot if this were Pointless.

When will people wise up? This all Ashley's fault is it? Poor Pards?

Rather than a song we should just point to him ET style and utter 'El-ee-ut'.

A lot of them have passed it backward for Elliot to ahem ...distribute directly on loads of occasions. Crap

He can blame it on the fact we sold that bit of land at a key time

Our arsehole is being served to us on a platter like a sushi bar conveyor belt.

Needs gosling to stamp his authority and boss the midfield in this.

England's no. 1

That is half, HALF decent looking.

'Which one of you is OFSTED?....You're a cunt'

He's no less stable than the likes of Suarez or Balotelli. Would you be playing them of course you would. His mismanagement stems from far before the villa game. Clash of egos for sure.

In other news a bloke called graham target has informed me that pardew has worked wonders this season. I'm agog.

'I'm sorry to tell you your husband is dead. His heart gave out during the surgery. We couldn't find a replacement donor; we'll we could but I told them keep it in the freezer because I thought now I'm back my winning mentality would help him pull through. He's still dead; but at least I got him living to 40 eh?'

Bit of confusion of flair and being good on the ball for me. Very technically adept. I always view flair players as the risk takers. The kind pardew loathes.

I'm waiting for Noël bastard Edmonds to jump out with a gotcha! After each of his interviews. Even if you're a caudal fan it must sound odd.

Poor mans Cuntenkrands

Not sure I could design a better arsehole if I tried. If I tried to build one 6 million dollar man style. He is the 6 million dollar arsehole.

Definitely for me. Definitely for me. That's like comparing a bucket of shit with a 3 week old dead cat. They both stink.

This season has been the very definition of mediocre. There's absolute dross below us and we've just been handed yet another gutless home defeat. Fans have never been so apathetic . It's terrible.

Notepad wanker

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VtdVK7QWuU

The hull result and then this is typical of the crap shoot coaching we have at this club. So fucking sick of it and even more sick of it never being called into question. (wider than here anyway)

The joke about having a hot dog shows he has very little remorse and thinks the fans are in on his stupid jokes. Just shut up and do your penance. The ban is probably about right but I'm of the view that being shot with shit and then into space would be better in terms of seeing the back of him.

He's such a jammy, slippery sod.