Lush Vlad

Not like TCD to make up complete and utter bollocks to kick off a heated debate. He must like the abuse or something? Mongrel.

He was dropped on his head when he was a baby?

http://www.baritaliasoho.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/WP_001962.jpg

Are you fairly well off or a pro gambler? If not, get yourself to gamblers anonymous, man.

It was Nolan and Smith in the middle that day. And yes, they were absolutely f***ing s***. We drew 1-1. Drunk last night like, but aye that's the one. Worst I've ever seen us play if memory serves me correctly. Quite a long list to choose from! I'd go for the Liverpool 1-5 and 0-6 games though. Horrendous 'performances'.

14th-17th. I don't think it will be another last minute escape. But I think we'll be in and around the bottom three for most of the season.

Errr. In modern football. Lots of teams have a midfielder coming deep, with the centre backs splitting and the full backs pushing on. I actually quite like it. The problem is, we don't really have any movement further up the pitch, or players that are confident enough to actually try and work the ball, or pass and move. Too often last night. You would see Mbemba asking players to come short and looking for the pass. Only to have to hoof it long, as there was nothing on. Or we just pass it sideways for ages, then give it to Krul, who invariably boots it straight off the pitch. Played off the park by West Ham and raped by a chubby looking Payet. Embarrassing. EDIT - TL:DR. See AY's post above.

Should so clearly be a conventional 3 in the middle, or he could also play in a midfield 2 in a 442. He's not a right winger, and playing him so close to the touchline is like sitting in bed next to a horny Scarlett Johansson, and having a w***. TBF. I'd have to have a tactical before. You're only lasting a minute at best with her if not.

Where would we play him though? He's shit on the wing. He's shit as a no.10. Do people see him next to Anita/Colback? Or would we go to a more conventional midfield 3?

I've never seen it that bad. He's always had a s*** first touch, snatched at chances from improbable angles/distances and been offside about 5-6 times a game. But last night, he was visibly disinterested and didn't even react to anything. I think Cisse from last year, would have reacted to some of the deflections in the box. Every time it broke to him or came through to him, it was like he was a second or two too slow to react and just totally unaware of what was going on around him. Final straw was near the end. When in fairness to our merry team of useless f***ers. Most of them were actually chasing the ball and pressing. Cisse was just stood up top, barely even walking about. Now if he'd been working like a dog all game, then fair enough. But I'm not sure he even broke into a sprint last night.

Looks weak and worryingly, a bit slow. He reminded me a bit of HBA playing on the left, in games where he clearly didn't fancy it. Seems to struggle beating a man down the byline and just doesn't look comfortable. Whereas on the other side cutting in, he looks more dangerous. But of course, we have Sissoko also playing out of position on the right. So we can't change it now, can we.... Nobody played well last night, mind. So he was in good company.

Wjinaldum looked much better in the short time he had further back. De Jong showed a bit of awareness trying to link play and had some nice touches. Perez managed to be our best player on the night, sealed this about 10 minutes after coming on and all. I'm sure it will be the same depressing starting lineup at the weekend though. And someone was contesting the fact that we don't shoot from outside the box. It's been something that has been lacking over the past two or three seasons. We just don't do it, and we aren't even f***ing Arsenal. Probably going off subject a bit. But I'm sure our stats under Pardew were padded out, because we used to have so many speculative efforts from miles out. I wouldn't mind us actually having a go from further out now and then. Problem is, we don't seem to even have any capable players high enough up the pitch to even have a crack.

We have had a tough start, well the first 4 games were, especially factoring in the sendings off. But West Ham are mediocre as f*** and we've made them look like a FIFA all star team. They didn't even appear to be trying for half the game and they still embarrassed us. I've not been worried at all this season. I even thought we'd finish top half. But no goals in 4 games and hardly any chances created. The only time we threaten goal, is when Janmaat has one of his many shots. Throw in the fact Colo is weak as p*ss and we are all over the show defensively, it's hardly a good mix. McClaren still keeps sending the same 4-2-3-1 out there, with no creativity and keeps playing the same out of form players, or players out of position. It's grim.

Unless he turns it around by managing to knock a few goals in in the next few games. He can fuck right off. On last night's showing, I think I'd genuinely have Gouffran starting over him. Absolutely pathetic from him. Never ready for the ball, didn't chase anything down, first touch worse than usual and just looked disinterested all night. I know we're short of options, but how he stayed on for 90 minutes is beyond me.

Seems like him and Sissoko are undroppable and rarely subbed. Both of those would have been the first two to come off last night. I see he got his customary yellow card. Can't be arsed to track back, not strong enough to try and compete for a ball. So just goes for the shirt pull or hack, whilst the other player is running away from him. Gutless, useless shithouse of a player.

Williamson. Horrendous footballer and weak as piss for his size. You'd forgive his basic lack of ability on the ball, all the fouls when jumping for headers and the fact he has no composure whatsoever. If he was a beast of a defender in the mould of someone like Chris Samba. But he's not. He gets bullied and he's just an awful, awful player. His touch and the way he strikes a ball wouldn't look out of place if he was getting games for your local semi-pro side.

I went for Wijnaldum. From what he has shown for us. From how he has looked the few times I have seen him for Holland and from my extensive Dennis Wise scouting. He looks the player with the highest ceiling and is probably the best at present. Janmaat is solid. Sissoko is unplayable on his day (which doesn't come enough) and Perez could end up being brilliant. He is already a good player. Agree with others. We seem to have a load of decent enough players, then some average, then some absolute dross. Don't really think there is a standout and you could make a case for 3-4 players.

So in summary. You're either a soft cunt. Or you've got black and white specs on.

Surprised there hasn't been a poll TBH! Split opinions all over the place. I thought it was red at the time. The more I look at it, the more I think it's a bit soft. To coin a load of annoying ref phrases. In this day and age. Anything that can be seen as studs showing, a stamp, a rake etc. Will usually result in a red card. I think it was mistimed and it nearly always looks worse in slow mo. But he does then seem to stamp down, once he's hit that twat Coquelin's shin.

Arsenal got a B FFS They didn't sign any outfield players! Palace A+ Cabaye is a quality signing and I think Sako will be too. But he is unproven at this level, as is Bamford and I don't rate the keeper. Wickham is shit. I fucking hate Paul Merson.

Don't think they would. But the prices for a ticket would tumble. Both Liverpool and Man Utd have struggled to sell tickets when they have been underperforming in recent seasons. Who knows how much they would fall with seasons of continued underachievement but I would expect they would still get decent-sized crowds. Liverpool got 35400 for a league game under Hodgson. Was that against Wolves? I seem to remember being at an away game over Christmas time and that game was on the TV in a bar afterwards. Empty seats all over and I thought it looked closer to 30,000.

Left wing or a 10 for me. I don't see him as a striker, especially if he is up there on his own. Too lightweight and not his game trying to hold it up against two big centre backs. His movement is quality and he always finds space dropping deep. I think he'd be wasted in a more back to goal role. In fairness, I am basing this on when we had Pardew/Carver in charge. But I still feel his attributes means he fits better as an wide forward or behind a striker. As oppose to leading the line.

Good from you, Nut. Well played Wijnaldum. 10 on 10. Mbemba. Bingo. Thauvin. Snap.

Fairly pleased with the window. It may be a bit premature, but I already feel that Mbemba and Wijnaldum will be quality players for us. Thauvin looks useful too. Still early days for all of them of course, but you have to have concerns about Mitrovic. Although I think/hope he can be good for us and somehow lose his reputation and calm down a bit. All feels a lot more positive after getting a competent coaching set up in and finally getting rid of the remaining members of Pardew's reign of terror. Can all come crashing down in no time. But it is nice to actually want to watch us again. I just hope it continues and we also continue in the same way in the transfer market. 7 on 10.

Was it Keane who trotted out the "I supported the club as a boy/dream to play here" line. For pretty much every club he signed for? Can't stick the bloke really. Far worse people in football of course. But I think maybe that god awful celebration is influencing my opinion of him.