1964

Whoever it is will be cheap and willing to have Ashley's hand up his arse working his mouth. Lets not get excited about getting a young foreign coach. He will be English and shit just like Pardew

Hope he goes but don't hold out hope that a quality manager will work under the shackles of Ashley. It will be cabbage heed.

His ceaseless failed attempts to kick the ball through players will prevent him from being a regular in a top 4 side. I don't know who taught him physics but they need a good kicking.

He has disproportionately large legs, in fact he looks like he's been lifted form FIFA 14 or some such

And I found out this afternoon I am going to be a grandad for the first time. The missus didn't appreciate it when I said that's the second best bit of news I've had all day

I like him and think he has improved massively. Still needs to know when to release the ball sometimes but if he was french and cost 10 million he's be cut a lot more slack. Tainted by association with his bro I'm afraid

To be fair that must be pretty old

Jesus the more I look at it the more I think of 'The Hills Have Eyes'

Who is the fucking psycho in the sunglasses. he must be on a register somewhere

As good as anyone today, attacked the ball and won everything

Looked tidy but are we getting a bit carried away? Unlike us I know..........

Abeid has had 1 good game for us and all of a sudden he's Rob Lee

Did he/she get injured?

The single most important and best decision dildo pards can make is to drop Gouffran. He should never ever play a single minute at left wing in his life. EVER. 'dildo pards' sound like someone out of The Hobbit. I like it

He always looks like he's slept on a park bench and has the look of a psychopath. He trades on fear and his reputation which is just a bit embarrassing

Ha ha what is the keeper doing for his second goal? It reminds me of several sunday mornings when the keeper has been distracted by his mates or having a crafty smoke and is consequently nowhere near the ball. Brilliant

His best position is definitely on the left of Carver

I don't rate him at all, he thinks he is Dynamo 'Watch me try to make this ball go through this player'. The number of times he tries a kick and run only to find that he's failed in the first part of the activity as the ball cannons off the defenders leg is ridiculous

Replied: It goes on for three more paragraphs, but I basically stopped reading there. I should have been a professional lip reader. or just a more determined reader

"I want a 99 cone with a flake on" Definitely

They haven't scored a home goal so far this season, that's gonna change

In other words "We're so desperate for a win we might be sh!t, so I want you to know that I called it"

The groundsman will be delighted if this doesn't go to pens, the thought of Elliot body slamming his turf must be playing on his mind

Is he offering a real fret?

When your player gets the word That you're shagging his bird that's a Pardew