Altamullan

Super computer predicts we will be sixth in Premier League! (OK, it's after five games...) http://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/football/622391/Super-computer-predicted-table-Premier-League-opening-five-matches-sportgalleries

I don't think we would be on the 'bearded scorpion's' A-list either, but also don't think he is the style of forward Rafa favours. Perhaps others know more?

Nice touch Well done the former Discettes.

Is this one of those Mensa test the thingies? Next in sequence?? Ok, is it Swampy?

Justin Barnes, Alan Barnes, paranoia inducing final two sentences... cue all sorts of unsettling jumping to conclusions and filling in the gaps. We know nowt and neither do they (journos); except how to be socially irresponsible joy-vacuuming cunts.

This time last year (pp31-33, this thread) not much happening either. To that point, at least half a dozen players mentioned as of interest, none of whom came.

'Kin hell... blown-out by Derek. It's not even funny any more/beginning to feel for them.

We not bought anyone yet? Been bought? I'm going stop looking: cold turkey (I'll hold out 12 hours max I reckon...).

Binned my original '96 away years ago as was getting tatty. Re-bought one a couple of years ago. Love the top and what it represents.

Had the same thought! Wonder if they paid by bank transfer or cheque? And how much? Anything in six figures and I reckon they won't exist for much longer.

I've got no choice when I get it pushed in my face every night has she stopped using the post-it with an arrow drawn on it yet, Mr Loverman? [edit: mine hasn't ]

Yep, but Chopey can't spell it let alone find it

Yep, but vitally important for you to get 'someone' in to put his stamp on the place, understand what he absolutely has to bring into the squad and build some team spirit and confidence (in what seem like very difficult circumstances). A bit like the half-decent looking (through beer goggles) lass at last orders, well, it might as well be Derek.

Redknapp uncanny!

Using the Green, Amber, Red difficulty coding from my earlier post and estimating a 60%, 30%, and 10% win rate (G,A, Red), and 30%, 20%, 20% draw rate would give us 48 points (and a probable top ten finish). Nottodamus' mystic prediction: End of October, 13 points from 10 games. End of December, 27 points from 21 games. End of Feb, 34 points from 28 games. End of Season, 48 points from 38 games.

Thought I would 'classify' and colour code our fixtures according to finishing position last year of opposition treating the top seven (15 point gap between Everton 7th and Southampton 8th) as RED (least likely to beat), next six as AMBER, and remaining four, plus promoted sides as GREEN. To make this pseudo-scientific cluster-f*** even more elaborate, opposition moves up or down a category depending if home or away if we are playing a RED team at SJP it becomes an AMBER fixture; and a GREEN team away becomes an AMBER fixture (I know this ignores our relatively better away form, last year). Point is (other than I am bored and NUFC obsessed...) this should give, based on last year's form/squads, a sense of the relative difficulty of different periods of the season. So: August: Spurs H PRED 1 Lost ACT 0 Huddersfield A PRED 2 Lost ACT 0 West Ham H PRED 5 Won ACT 3 September: Swansea A PRED 6 Won ACT 6 Stoke H PRED 9 Won ACT 9 Brighton A Liverpool H October: Southampton A Palace H Burnley A November: Bournemouth H Man Utd A Watford H WBA A December: Chelsea A Leicester H Everton H Arsenal A West Ham A Man City H Brighton H January: Stoke A Swansea H Man City A Burnley H February: Palace A Man Utd H Bournemouth A March: Liverpool A Southampton H Spurs A Huddersfield H April: Leicester A Arsenal H Everton A WBA H May: Watford A Chelsea H

'Double-barrelled prodigies'

All teams have their 'element' but my only experience of being in and around England 'fans' ended-up in a brawl at the bottom of Westgate Road early noughties (Albania?): after we took exception to the home county mockneys' 'banter' (full of lager and racist chanting).

See Pickford is being removed; for the silly fee origanlly mooted it seems. Though not quite boxed-up and on the van yet.

You mean wor Kev?

I think you're approaching this from the wrong start point. Wouldn't be the first time, but I prefer the 'levity lane', regardless of where you end up it always bodes for a better journey

Trying to second guess the business deals is beyond me, but liking the China-toon idea. Bound to be a play on words with these lyrics. Optimistic starter for ten:" Man, we don't stand a chance of ganning doon with Chinatoon"

Tiz true. Also multiple shades of grey, bewteeen the black and white extremes. Plus this is probably a load of pap in the first place; try not to worry dude, because well, makes you weary.

Fuck. There's a dilemma.

Think it was that well-known NUFC-seer Michaleen Oge Flynn who said:"Ah... June's a nice quiet, peaceful month...so on it's news-absent nights I think I will wind-up the comrades and talk a little takeover." It was something like that anyway...