Happinesstan

I don’t give a toss myself, you’re a footballer, you play football, that’s it. You’re not a brand like Apple, or a showbiz personality like fucking Katie Price. You’re not some important big deal of a person politically or socially. You’re a footballer, stick to being one and just play the fucking game or actually do one and fuck off away from the game because you’re boring the tits off us all with your shite away from the pitch. Anyone who buys into the cult of someone’s ‘personality’ mustn’t have one of their own, I mean fair enough a Liam Gallagher or a Tupac, but a fucking footballer? This is how we end up with your JLingz, KSI, Robin Armstrong, Steve Wraith, Big Brother, Kardashians and other talentless air bubbles cropping up everywhere and anywhere where they end up taking up so much of the room in culture, they take over and become our culture. Fuck off with that shite man, really, have some self respect and stop this totally insane interest in this mad cult of personality shit which right now someone cumming in their pants over Zlatan’s latest tweet for example is basically the seed that breeds more of these cunts. What happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type? Hey, vaffancul! Fuck off with Liam Gallagher and Tupac. You'd have a solid argument if you didn't exclude your own personal obsessions. I’m not a huge fan of either, but I get why real personalities like them two as examples attract huge attention/following as people just as much as they do for their work. Footballers though... As for my own obsessions, I keep them personal between me and whoever or whatever, I idolise Kurt Cobain for his music, as a personality, as a full package. I dig the full lot. But again it’s between me and him baby. It’s a one man, one membership cult following I created for me, no-one else. You couldn’t sell him or Nirvana to me. No marketing, no twitter, Instagram, reality TV show, interview or PR could ever sell him/them/that to me. And nor can Zlatan sell me/get me to buy into this fake ass cult of personality. You’re a footballer mate, whatever you’re trying to be, don’t give up your day job. All these weirdos who lap this kind of shit up need a good slap for helping give rise to these manufactured non entity insignificant un important personalities who they have allowed to invade not just our culture and our art, but our social and political world too. And not for who they really are or not, for good or bad, better or worse, or what it is they really do or don’t do, but for their personality which in reality, they only fucking possess because those with less personality than them are paying for it. Zlatan come, saw and conquered on the pitch, but if anyone is stupid enough to buy into him as some kind of real life personality whose words, actions and thoughts are worth taking notice of outside of what he does on the pitch, well, the world and everyone may well end up fucked one day, if it and we aren’t already. The craziest part I can’t and never will get my head around is these fucking no mark wannabe personalities who want everyone to buy into them as being such much more than as some footballer or a singer or an actor or a politician, is most of them have paid a team of people or been paid by companies, brands, sponsors etc. for a transplant personality, like they do hair transplants, new teeth, breast implants, Botox, facelifts, the lot. And Zlatan and co are no different, with his professional imagery I’d have some respect for him if he did it himself for a laugh aimed at no-one and nothing in particular. But it’s from brand/team Zlatan, who own, run, manage and try and sell on this manufactured personality for him on his behalf because people will buy this shot for realz dog. You da man G, you’re bigger than god and Jesus and the whole of Sweden. When you were just a footballer, you were no-one man. We need you to do something zany that’s so Zlatan for instagram, billions will go insane you opening a bottle of water with a roundhouse kick or knocking down a tree with a kick. By the way, that Irish boxer Mike Tyson or whoever he is, the bald guy who pretends he’s nuts, his team have asked us if you’d like to fight their boy, he reckons he would knock you out and is even willing to fight you inside a penalty box at a stadium of your choice. We’ve submitted our price, this could break PPV records Zlaty baby. Seriously, the real personalities are the likes of Liam Gallagher who I’m not a fan of, I loved Oasis mind, I think he’s a dick, but he’s far more interesting as a stand alone personality as a person alone and that’s because he’s genuine and owns his own personality and doesn’t care if the world digs him or gives notice to whatever he says or doesn’t or his actions, but his music. As such I’d rather listen to what he has to say about Brexit, Man City or whatever other bull shit than Piers fucking Morgan, Lilly fucking Allen or the biggest fucking abomination of a personality that we all ought to regard as deadly poison, that eccentric, big daft, good old boy PM of ours. If only he would give up his day job, whatever that is. The scary thing with him, is that’s his real personality, that’s not a transplant, it’s all his. But who gives a shit, XFactor is about to start. Never mind your Kurt Cobains and Nirvana who slaved away practicing, writing, learning, playing to audiences of 20 people in shit holes for nowt for years and years the no marks that they were, what losers. WOOO HOOO JLS JLS WE LOVE YOU XX Zlatan, when are you going to retire so you can be Zlatan every day, I mean every Instagram post! Hey Tyson, props man on bouncing back, you’re an inspiration man, it’s because of you man having the balls to get back up again after your knockdowns, I’m now a big fan of WWF. I used to think it was staged and just an act, but not anymore. I used to like boxing, but it’s all about money these days, at least WWF is advertising the plight of endangered Pandas. You’re saving the world Tyson man! Go champ! Meanwhile over in chicken town the lercals are struggling with this twitter lark, but some Mag at work was fewming about something The Don put on it, calling the Mags gravy stained scum or something. Marra is a legend if he said that. He could sell the SOL, the AOL and shag Bally’s wife up the arse, he’ll forever be a legend on Wearside. FTM 2-1, 6 in a row, Shearer wears a wankers hat, Sid James Park lol lol lol It’s all a load of bollocks. My apologies. Of course you're not on twitter.

Lampard will be next.

Not on it and never have been. My business is, but I’m not sure how active we are on it nor do I care! Not on it, you just use it to promote your brand, which seem to e exactly what Zlatan is doing. Aye, because it’s the same. Of course it's the same.

Not on it and never have been. My business is, but I’m not sure how active we are on it nor do I care! Not on it, you just use it to promote your brand, which seem to e exactly what Zlatan is doing.

I take it you've quit twitter.

Change manager each year and it'll be like Rafa never left.

A footballer who gets someone to design an image for him to add extra visual effect to the message he’s thought long and hard over he then gets someone to tweet for him on his account, just one big elaborate ironic chuckle he’s joking to himself about ha ha ha ha ha, lol. Aye right, the man’s an attention seeking twat who pays way too much attention to all this than he should or wouldn’t if no-one actually gave a fuck. But some sad fucks do so off to Twitter it is he goes. Maybe if Cobain had such an outlet he wouldn't now resemble a Jackson Pollock.

£38M in total Cheaper than Joelinton.

I don’t give a toss myself, you’re a footballer, you play football, that’s it. You’re not a brand like Apple, or a showbiz personality like fucking Katie Price. You’re not some important big deal of a person politically or socially. You’re a footballer, stick to being one and just play the fucking game or actually do one and fuck off away from the game because you’re boring the tits off us all with your shite away from the pitch. Anyone who buys into the cult of someone’s ‘personality’ mustn’t have one of their own, I mean fair enough a Liam Gallagher or a Tupac, but a fucking footballer? This is how we end up with your JLingz, KSI, Robin Armstrong, Steve Wraith, Big Brother, Kardashians and other talentless air bubbles cropping up everywhere and anywhere where they end up taking up so much of the room in culture, they take over and become our culture. Fuck off with that shite man, really, have some self respect and stop this totally insane interest in this mad cult of personality shit which right now someone cumming in their pants over Zlatan’s latest tweet for example is basically the seed that breeds more of these cunts. What happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type? Hey, vaffancul! Fuck off with Liam Gallagher and Tupac. You'd have a solid argument if you didn't exclude your own personal obsessions.

That's probably true, but is he not weaker in the areas that we need improvement.

An MLS-esque shot Wat what? don't you know? they hit the ball differently in America :lol: It's not that outlandish, Dwight Gayle hits his shots differently in the Championship.

Krul Schar Colo Fernadez Lejeune Enrique Cabaye Tiote HBA Cisse Ba Subs: Dubs, Debuchy, Lascelles, Sissoko, Diame, Perez, Rondon Yes, I'd pick Schar at RWB.

Villa at home, around 20 yards out, smashed it off the underside of the bar, 97/98 Nah, was definitely a penna. Sure it was a 6-0 or 6-1.

Didn't realise he played in the 1974 world cup.

Can you remember who Bez scored against?

Aye. I seem to remember Beresford scoring a penalty against Barnsley to complete the set of everybody scoring. Not sure who Venison scored against. Hmm. Wasn't Barnsley.

Guessing when he’s went so long without a goal all he’s concerned about is keeping the ball on target and making good contact. With a goal or two under him he probably buries that. He aimed specifically at ASM's arse, as he knew he was likely to miss. Unfortunately on this occasion he hit the target.

How truly, truly PATHETIC it is, that we should have to even 'think' about that. How low have we fallen, it is a constant embarrassment !! We finished 13th and made an FA Cup Final with Barnes & Shearer scoring 7 each in all comps. We’d kill for a season like that now. It's still on.

Treatment of him? Slagging him off on the internet is not mistreating him. In fact if anybody is mistreating him it's the journos that ring him up and ask him about shit he'd likely be unaware of.

Hope he stays for 14 years, scoring 79 goals.

He's got a very small forehead.

I think it was 9 on target. Yea your right, bloody MOTD ;D But 9 on target is still good for us 2 of those were goals scored by defenders. 3 of them were 3-pointers from Willems. It's good for us, but it doesn't support any argument for our front 3.

I think it was 9 on target.

I’m actually going the other way with it. If the front three were banging them in you’d think they can’t keep that up. 1/3 of the way through the season and they’ve scored 1. The chances of going 2/3s and only scoring 2-3 goals is pretty much impossible. Think they’ll all get somewhere between 5-9 each and we’ll be around 12-14th. Emanuelle says hi.

Total football. Bruce is a genius. He's re-writing all the books on tactics.