Rod

In the past I have worn my Newcastle top at both Rangers and Celtic. I was greeted warmly by both sets of fans. Simple rules are a) don't act like a knob and b) smile a lot.

Worst song ever.

Offences?

I honestly hadn't heard of Guimares or Isak before they signed and I always thought that I was clued up. I trust our staff immensely.

Look, we all know Hendrick is crap. However he is/was crap in the Premier league which is far superior to the championship. In my opinion he is a championship player therefore would walk into the mackem team. Is that enough logic for you Teddy?

Yes he would.

He actually would.

Another Premier league certainty then? Yes I'm still watching you.

If/when Maddison signs, he will be one of the first names on the teamsheet. I said exactly the same when Pope signed and people were shitting themselves because Dubravka would be dropped. Can you honestly not spot a class player?

If my Auntie was my Uncle ............

Not sure what you mean. I am an old man though.

They will be relegated next season. Put a bet on.

You mean Bruce was a coward, yeah?

Mings is the most overrated centre back in my opinion. Never an international player in a million years.

I'm in the back garden/decking drinking Aperol Spritz (yes Aperol Spritz) and have just told the wife that we are in The Champions League. I'm very rarely wrong you know.

Yip. That was a poor finish. Just being honest.

Ideal would be to win the Champions league.

How did Schar get booked and not the other bloke when they had a girl slapping exercise? Shocking refereeing.

Oh Christ! So you actually are a primary school teacher?

Ha ha ha. You're mental!

This is true by the way. He still laughs at us in his cowardly giggly style.

OK then, is this more apt. Bruno is carrying an injury and was awful today. Same outcome you know.

He's been shocking.

No that can't be true because.......................

That surely can't be true. Uni Emery is getting them to the promised land. He's a miracle worker you know?