Kid Icarus

You understood the assignment

I missed the match from about 20 minutes in. So happy with the result and I feel the need to reassert my love for Edward. Can someone sum up the events in a word? In a sound?

Gorgeous little scoreline

I see everyone's remaining level headed.

Horrible player. What's he done now?

Literally no-one will care either way mate

A frankly ridiculous opinion to hold

Lineker is basically the main reason to watch it. The other 2 aren't great but have decent anecdotes. I'm so exhausted with shite banter and pretentious fart sniffing journo podcasts though that having 3 footballers just have a chat about football for an hour feels novel.

What are the chances

The pub I was in switched channels during that Man City match and not a single person complained

Obvious but The rest is football. Everything else I watched or listened to is rubbish now in all honesty.

It doesn't matter how good we get, there'll always be a player for the permanently miserable element within our support to focus their impotent anger at. Burn came in as one of the best defenders we'd seen at Newcastle in years. Now for them he's the scapegoat. If we continue to push on, the players we love now will take his place, it's inevitable.

Wew, so the motherlode basically. Incredible. I have a VHS to digital converter if you'd be comfortable with lending me them? Totally understand if you don't mind, they're obviously treasured possessions. Of course I'd be able to send you back the digital versions of them along with your videos as well, that way they'll never degrade.

Aye, I'm looking for basically everything. The two main ones off the top of my head are the Sheff Wed away one which was the first time I saw Ginola, and the Boro at home match where he had Neil Cox's life. Honestly, pretty much anything that there is would be massively appreciated though. What have you got them on? Video?

Been watching a few of these again over the last week or so. Was honestly laughing nearly non-stop watching the West Ham one. People talk about teams dominating games these days and generally they mean controlling possession, winning battles, making your moments count etc, but watching us in that West Ham match you can see that we were a one off, there was no controlling possession or anything like that, it was 90 minutes of relentless attack after attack without ever stopping for a moment to control things, it's insane. Within 2 minutes Phillipe Albert is attempting a scissor kick on the edge of their area. By the end, these are the stats:

Man City 3-0 Everton Fulham 1-1 Bournemouth Liverpool 3-1 Burnley Luton 4-2 Sheff United Spurs 2-1 Brighton Wolves 1-1 Brentford Forest 2-1 Newcastle West Ham 1-2 Arsenal Villa 3-1 Man United Palace 0-1 Chelsea

They're both legit like, I can tell because I've got a legit one and a snide one. Sizing and fit ✔ Badge doesn't have the white stripes too thick✔ Right colour on the 'adidas'✔ right material, no shine to it like the snide I have✔ correct material for the sponsor✔

To quote Melvin Udall, we're drowning here and you're describing the water.

Just seen that my mate benched Watkins for Werner. What an idiot.

The cons and pros of forgetting to change my FPL team this week The bench I forgot to change The captain I forgot to change

Foden's starting to look like the player I thought he would be

I know for some his pressers are primetime viewing but I reckon you could just give me the list of questions put to him and I could guess 95% of his answers. It's part of what I love about him, he doesn’t bring any attention on himself or the club, doesn’t say anything that could tip off or be used as inspiration by the opposition, gives barely anything away, and does it all while being friendly.

Get that put on a flag

It was the worst season I'd ever seen for injuries like 2 months ago, now it's probably about 3x worse than the next worse season I've known for injuries

Good for you Some people are shameless