Holmesy

This is the thing that no one seems to be talking about. We know the squad is shit, but cracks have been papered over by three stand out players being in decent form. Two of those players are now out of form and the other is injured and now we get a proper warts-and-all view of how shit and thin our squad is. We are championship from front to back - Gayle, Murphy, Ritchie, Hendrick, Clark, Krafth, Lascelles, Darlow, Longstaff, Almiron, Manquillo, Fraser. 12 players who are Championship standard. Shelvey, Hayden, Schar, Dubravka, Fernandez, Willock are arguably PL standard but bottom half PL. ASM, Tripper and Wilson are arguably the only players that could play in a top half PL team. That is relegation fodder, Ashley and Bruce's legacy. Howe has come in with a new system that seemingly isn't working, but the players he is working with are probably incapable of executing his instructions because they're not good enough, intelligent enough, quick enough or have enough end product. In short, we are fucking desperate.

You're oversimplifying something that is far more complicated than that. We've likely been negotiating with these players since before the transfer window opened and maybe even got agreements in principle but then when the window opens you have to start negotiating with the club, and they don't want to lose their best players. You'll also have situations where we've talked to agents and they'll say 'my client likes the project but isn't keen on a relegation battle so we'll wait to see what other offers come in and get back to you'. That takes you into week 2/3 of the window. Teams will want replacements agreed before they sign off on transfers etc. There are so many factors you're not considering when you say 'just hoy money at it'. It just doesn't work like that.

So we should just sign players because they're easy to sign, not because they're the players we actually need/want?

You know how literally everyone in the football industry says how difficult it is to do transfer business in January? Maybe it is actually really difficult to do transfer business in January and it's not just people saying it for their own amusement. Just a thought.

Doumbia, Shefki Kuqi

Watching West Ham v Leeds and Issa Diop is class. Fingers crossed the rumours are us being in for him are true, he’d improve our back line immeasurably

He’s been every bit as bad as people have been saying this year. Total fucking non-entity

FYP

Give him the benefit of the doubt - he inherited a piss weak squad with one striker and no creativity. We’ve seen some improvements in general but until we change the personnel we’ll still be shit. I’ll judge him from the end of January and if we’re still shite he deserves the pelters.

When was the last time a club bought a whole new first team?

We are so shit!

Seems like a top lad. More signings like this please. Makes me doubt the Digne transfer even more. I reckon Eddie is looking for really good characters as well as good players and Digne sounds like a bit of a diva

I love the attitude of “the defence is shit, let’s just buy a whole new one”. This is class!

Autocorrect can do one!

I don’t think he’s a real man because he dances like a twat every time he scores a goal

I’ll give them a shout now

What’s a mega offer though? Even with Mane and Salah away, if Liverpool sign this chap from Porto, Origi will want out asap

Nketiah and Origi would be spot on. Both are seemingly available as well.

I really like Almiron as well but he's frustrating as fuck and he's never going to get any better than he is now. I'd also be happy to pass on Cantwell. He's decent enough but he just comes across as a proper little prick and I don't think he'd grow on me even if he was our player. Much better options out there, whether they'd come or not who knows

His decision making would be a significant upgrade on Almiron's.

Syphilis i heard

I just can't picture the whole crowd singing na na na na na na na na Botman It would be great if it happens, proper comedy value!

He just isn't though. Hendrick, Clark and Krafth have him beaten comfortably

£30 million seems to be our new number. I like it!

We've got to be aiming for better with the money and newly found pulling power we have