Moose

Oh shit! A lead!

Fucking hell, what a grim selection of teams. In order of preference: 1. Boro - Northern, haven't played them in ages 2. Millwall - I'm usually against the idea of London teams coming up but at least their fans are a bunch of mad lads who'll add some spice, especially if West Ham stay up 3. Hull - Boring, they also get docked points as they're the only fan base who speak highly of Bruce 4. Southampton- A complete non entity team, they bring fuck all to the league

I don't mind Wrexham per se, as other have said they're a working class town who nearly lost their club and are now living their wildest dreams. HOWEVER! The Hollywood wankfest that surrounds them would kick into ultra-hyper-megadrive if they got promoted to the PL, the camera would spend more time fixed on Reynolds and his celeb mates in the stands rather than the actual game. I'm scunnered with the state of the modern PL as it is, I'm not sure if could stomach that.

Give us 80m and we'll even chuck in Wissa & Elanga for free.

I think we'll see better from him next season, cause frankly he can't get much worse! *insert Mick McCarthy meme here

https://archive.is/20260430005143/https://www.dailymail.com/sport/football/article-15761635/true-geordie-brian-davis-youtube-liquidation.html It's really not the hit piece I was expecting, it's more of a short biography. Don't get me wrong, he's always been a narcissistic bellend but his Pardew era rants were quite cathartic and enjoyable at the time. I started following him after the Nile Ranger video and at the time his channel was a mixy blob of Newcastle rants and conspiracy videos, he had ones about the moon landing, 9/11, the Royals killed Diana something about Lee Rigby too

I used to argue that Wissa was worse buy than Elanga as there's little chance of him ever proving his worth due to age. But then I forgot to take into consideration that Elanga is a emptyheaded moron with breezeblocks for shoes so there's no hope of him ever coming good either. Choosing between Elanga and Wissa is the classic 'would you rather lose your left or right bollock' question

You're telling people who make Michael Jackson puns to beat it? Well, I'm telling them don't stop 'til you get enough!

Fucking hell man! The writing was on the wall from his debut. One of the most hopeless, braindead footballers I've ever watched for us, that's before we even get into his price.

That's an off the wall choice from Burnley, it'll either be a thriller or bad, bad, really really bad.

'I'm very committed to being here'. Yeah, I don't think you or we have much of a choice in the matter pal.

I despise the penne paedophile as much as the next man, but he won't be peddling this unless someone is paying him a lot of money to do so. To me, that tweet is nothing more than a call to arms for the cartel to start bidding, safe in the knowledge that Serie A clubs won't be an issue. Anyone who thinks Tonali will be a Newcastle player on 1st September is tripping.

A 0-0 between those two would really sap the life out of you. I'll leaf it there before I twig onto any more puns.

Just in case the PSG vs Bayern game restored your love for football, step forward the footballing equivalent of ISIS vs Khmer Rouge to remind you just how shit it can be

Don't worry, it's Arsenal vs Atletico tomorrow. Get that in your diary, I'm sure it'll be a thriller too......

When we got 125m for Isak I thought it would be a case of 'Sell Elvis but buy The Beatles'. Turns out we bought the Insane Clown Posse.

Wasn't his original recommendation Gerrard? It seems like that part off the story has fallen by the wayside around about the same time Gerrard was exposed as a fraud of a manager. Convenient. Also, the notion that the club would act on the advice of that grifting, semi-sentient cabbage is hilarious

Unfortunately, not because his arteries finally clogged up

We are but a single tile on PIF's mosaic, I think someone posted on here that we make up less than 1% of the portfolio that Yasir is responsible for. With that in mind, I'm not expecting Yasir to be getting his hands dirty with the day to day running of things. PIF have stumped up the money when needed but their decision making processes are glacial and they've hired some bad custodians to run the club, leading to the rudderless ship that we were last summer.

"The patient died, but ultimately, the surgery went well"

Beat me to it 😄

I remember they knocked us out of the FA Cup in consecutive years in the Pardew days while they were in the championship. Other than the game with the Mo Diame screamer and the game to clinch CL football in '23 I can't remember us ever beating this mob of hippies