christ

That’s the big problem for them. Isak’s movement is truly outstanding, particularly when you couple it up with his close control. He can have defenders on strings. They’ve signed him to be an out-and-out striker though. He’s not a bad finisher, but he’s not the sort of player who can get off a good shot in a packed 18 yard box, or will always be there to collect the scraps if a keeper spills it. He needs to be playing off the shoulder of the last man.

Flies under the radar a bit because of Tino’s quality on either side and a stop-start injury record but he’s an absolutely ridiculous footballer. If he stays fit he’ll be starting for England at the World Cup.

His record speaks for itself. But I think we’re seeing that it was definitely fluffed by the fact we built the team to service him and him alone. He’s not the focal point at Liverpool and they’re not going to upend the entire team to play to his strengths. At the minute it doesn’t look like he can cope with that.

So we should unilaterally announce we’re moving to a location, presumably without the permission or consent of the authorities? What happens if we’re not able to move to Leazes Park, or anywhere in the city for that matter? Should we still move if the only viable location is at the racecourse? Just because you want us to announce something?

I hope you gave them a tin of Birds custard powder and a kinder egg each.

Bring back the Black and White video. Half a dozen match highlights intercut with a magazine feature on where Jason Tindall gets his tan done. I’d buy the fuck out of it.

She’s not bad for 89 like.

I’m in the process of atoning for my sins ffs

Early days, however all signs do in fact point to me being ‘in the mud’.

His severed head would make a nice addition to the top of your tower of inscrutable consumer goods for the next away day.

Mia’s dad?

This doesn’t go far enough. I demand executions.

Howe, Keegan and SBR in S tier. Move A tier to B tier, and B tier to C tier. Create a Q tier for Bruce.

Dan Burn having to stop John Ruddy from battering him.

What number do you reckon he’ll have?

Lovely lad no doubt but absolutely shit. The fact Howe doesn’t trust him despite working with him for a season tells all. £30m is daylight robbery.

Aye, but they usually pull the shutters down on Keith.

Oh god no

Even I think we’ve overpaid, but some of you hysterical dickheads need to take a few deep breaths here like

Nah, the Isak sales gives us loads of potential headroom. Incoming fees are a lump sum, new signings are amortised over the length of the contract.

A large part of me is just relieved it’s over. It’s been an absolute fucking bore of a saga and not having to dedicate any mental bandwidth to it will be a joy. On the other hand, we’ve basically had our pants pulled down by the bigger boys. The first real test of the ownership’s mettle and they’ve been found wanting. To sell without another striker too is unforgivable. If 7pm comes and what we see right now is what we have until January then whoever is calling the shots needs a slap. In short, yay and boo.

Not getting another striker it would be unforgivable, regardless of the fee. Basically writing off the season.

You wanker

Never a striker as long as I’ve got a hole in my arse.

I’m watching it and in fairness that’s a good description.