christ

I remember being on a whitey, going home, closing the curtains, crawling into my bed and watching our Return of the Entertainers season review VHS until I felt semi-human.

I don’t think the market exists for him this summer now. Liverpool would have the fiscal headroom to do a deal but that means they’ve basically wasted £70m on Ekitike. If we have a valuation we’ll stick to it you’d imagine. It’s a big season for any player wanting to go to the World Cup, so our hand is pretty strong. But it basically rules out any new contract and he’ll be away next summer for certain.

Unless his leg was hanging off he’d be there for sponsorship reasons, promotional opportunities etc. Clubs don’t fly to the other side of the world for the good of their players. If he’s not going to be fit enough to feature in any of the matches taking place over the next week and a bit then it’s more than a ‘minor’ injury. Something isn’t right behind the scenes. Whether it’s Isak spitting his dummy out or a hard line being taken by Howe/the club I wouldn’t like to guess. I’m not sure any of this means he leaves this summer, but it’s going to have implications for the start of the season at least.

I hope so. We could all do with a laugh.

Even the best case scenario, that his injury is legit, is actually terrible because it suggests whatever he was carrying last season hasn’t cleared up with a few months of R&R.

“But have you seen the price of a pint down there, Yoane?”

Most unhinged post in forum history.

Let’s bring back Ian Cathro too.

Is there a secret set of quotes I’ve not read because the ones I have seen seem pretty tame?

I’ve been quite relaxed about the pace of business thus far, but if we get beaten to Trafford after having a deal *almost* done for 12 months then something is seriously wrong. No excuse.

1 September

If we delete it quickly the football transfer gods may not notice.

Don’t forget the halo effect of signing Wissa would be making the Mbeumo deal even harder to do for Man United. Get it done.

I really like this deal. I assume we’d have to stump up somewhere in the region of £30m and he’s a bit older but he’d be a huge upgrade on Wilson.

A title change isn’t enough. Lock the damn thread.

Until Monday afternoon I didn’t think there was any chance we’d be in for Ekitike, so missing out on him isn’t going to cause me too much mental damage like.

What did he say?

We’ve definitely upset Liverpool’s transfer plans, hence the wild flailing in the general direction of their prospective targets. I reckon they thought they’d have time to get the Nunez deal done first before making a play for Isak or Ekitike later in the window. We’ve stole a march while they’re in no position to actually bid, so they’re in boat rocking mode. Most likely outcome here definitely feels like they blow us out of the water for Ekitike. Annoying in the short term, but that coupled with Arsenal’s deal for Gyokeres the market for Isak drastically reduces next summer.

There are so many financial incentives in contracts nowadays to protect clubs I think there’s close to a nil chance Isak kicks up a stink.

We’re fighting with the big boys now. It’s a blessing and a curse. But this is the future. Strong stomachs needed from here on out.

I can’t believe someone found a flaw in the plan.

I’d like us to retire the term ‘bed wetting’. It’s RTG-coded. Instead can I suggest ‘pant shitting’?

I think they do, but they’re not in a position to move for him until Nunez is off the books and the news last night caught them out. This is a tactic to try and muddy the waters.

That’s because we are. Liverpool chancing their arm doesn’t change the fact that we are the ones in complete control of whether we sell a player or not. They’ll get told to fuck off.

Technically counts as a transfer bath.