Virtua Stiva

if he becomes a cheating little dirty cunt for us, I will support him to the hilt and die for the man

Van Hecke slipping for our third is perfect. He deserves that, the horrible little bastard

Must be genuinely hard work coming out with this sort of thing every day

Joelinton booked after 10 minutes for ragdolling Minteh about

Fucking hell, Eddie, man. You’re not helping yourself, kid

And we’d get them away first game of the season and get trollied. A crowd full of Hollywood pricks acting their way through it

Getting unreasonably excited about us unearthing an entire fleet of talent at youth level in the vain hope that they’ll actually play and fire us to glory instead of being sacrificed at the altar of PSR

Glad Jacob Murphy is following the managers instructions to give the ball away every time he gets it, shirk out of tackles and struggle to track runners or else he’d have to be dropped too

Surely that prick Welbeck couldn’t possibly have another sucker punch in him

Hopefully the meeting has relieved a bit of pressure on him and he can maybe feel to tinker a bit in the last four games. The one thing I’m glad of is no uncertainty around the manager going into the summer, I think that’s the smart thing. Make your decision early and stick to it

Would absolutely love to steal a living writing shite like that, fuck me

Ah mint, here’s this daft cunt gearing up for his million tweets of the summer

If you’re struggling to sleep, get this semi-final on

Looking forward to seeing a glimpse of our new “superstar” looking like another middle aged bloke in a suit 😍

Everything NUFC. Nothing upstairs

Longstaff’s barber has done him badly

Jared Gillett doing an FA Cup semi final God help these two

And the Chelsea end go mild

I don’t think we’ll go down but I’d bet that bit of daylight we have is looking a lot smaller in the next week or so. Howe is basically going to have his hand forced to play Wissa/Woltemade in the last few games if it gets desperate

The stats for each team are fucking shit because it was two shit teams playing out a shit game

Aye, I’m struggling to see what was so encouraging there. Brighton are playing much better than Arsenal atm and they’re up next.

He’s getting worse

Wissa scores that chance last season. Another reason to despise the man

Would have given Osula another ten minutes off the right