Checko

Palace have been in good form and we've had some bad results at home against mid table teams. We've also been fucking awful against them the last two times we played them, though they were both away. Did see a stat that indicates they're the least press resistant team in the league. Give the ball away a lot under pressure so that gave me a bit more confidence. That said, if they go long Marteta will put up more of a fight than Zirkzee and Eze's a classy player. Either way... into these bastards!

Couple of pairs of Calvin Kleins. Couple from Marks & Sparks. Raise the ceiling, raise the floor, keep the core, job done. Dunno how Man U keep fucking it up so bad.

He likes Jane Austin cosplay.

It's amazing how quickly we regenerated the squad with a couple of fancy pants signings topped with a couple of more solid pragmatic signings per window. 1st Window - Fancy Pants: Trippier, Bruno Solid & pragmatic: Dan Burn, Wood, [Targett - loan] 2nd Window - Fancy Pants: Botman, Isak Solid & pragmatic: Pope, Targett That got us from years of being shite to challenging for Champions league. You've then got Gordon as a bit of both, maybe Barnes too. Tonali fancy pants. Tino and Hall quite big fees but more bought as squad depth in the short term. Basically - a fancy pants signing at CB and RW, couple of more solid pickups at CF and CM, maybe a fullback too assuming Trips goes and that probably does our squad the world of good, assuming no-one major leaves. Seems to work well with us adding quality and depth without losing too much of our identity and coordination. Edit: a top goalie who can do kicky kicky would be nice too obviously, though personally I still rate Pope highly at actually being a good keeper and top lad, so I'd be willing to wait for next year & go fancy pants for that (assuming we're not getting Trafford).

Get this man some pickle juice.

I'd like something funky like Juve often seem to get. Then when you do a simple classic striped one it hits harder.

I guess it's a mixture of general awfulness of player, massive waste of money, failure to live up to reputation and hilariousness/memorability of the story. Taibi was £4.5 million for example, which was a decent whack for a gk in 1999 and had one or two really high profile errors and then got ruthlessly disposed of. Bebe was a not very good player guy Ferguson signed for a decent whack and he admitted he'd never seen him play. That sort of stuff sits in the memory.

This man will be the last one standing on the Venga Bus.

Yeah, his stats are rather good: https://fbref.com/en/players/82518f62/Bruno-Guimaraes particularly as most of this is in a season where the majority of us would probably say he's not been at his best for a lot of it. Even on the days where he didn't seem on it you watch the highlights and remember 'oh yeah he made that chance, he made those tackles, he started that counter attack.'

Thought Zirkzee showed some really nice touches, shame he got injured. That 1,2,3,4 with grumpy Bruno was liquid football. That said, it feels like there's kind of a Berbatovy languidness about him & from the little I've seen I reckon he might need a nippy, aggressive hardworker around him to get the most out of him. A Rooney or Bellamy type.

There were a couple of players on the line so that probably reduced Barnes' xG a bit. Also I think it's easy to overestimate how easy it is to score chances. Even the best players miss a lot of decent chances. xG is useful in that is says roughly how many goals would have likely been scored from the shots taken. But that's still only limited information. That doesn't by itself say which team was better or deserved to win. eg. You could get a lot of xG from a terrible backpass and a dumb penalty. Doesn't mean you played well to get that xG You could dominate and have a ton of crosses just miss their man at the far post by an inch and get no xG for it. I think xG's often most useful as a long-term trend where things will average out a bit. I think it's also very good for showing which players are clinical finishers or not, particularly over a long period of time. If you see a player who is consistently outperfomring their xG over multiple seasons then you can be pretty confident they're a good finisher. If they're massively underperforming year after year then they're probably Darwin Nunez of DCL. xG can gives you some information, but adding other stats like shots, shots on target, big chances, touches in opponents box etc. will give a much more rounded view of the game and who deserved to win.

I imagine he'd also demand you film it, so probably just that really.

That they've included it at all or that they've written it upside down?

It's a job in the TV/Film industry

Yeah you could see it on the replay. Probably why it ended up top bins when he's normally a low-into-the-corner kinda guy.

We did win the league and FA Cup a few times, back in the day.

He'd better turn up for his post-match interview smoking a big fat cigar.

Well at least like the bloody post then. I need my dopamine goddamit.

There's only so much Lego a man can buy for @christ's sake.

Wow, that's £25 million a year. You could buy a lot of Lego with that. And Lego's very expensive.

I'm just sick of it always being black and white stripes on the first kit every single bloody year. I'd like to see us be a bit more imaginative, maybe switch it up to white and black stripes for example. Something a bit different but also exactly the same.

Class kit. Also, who's that bloke from the 1930's in the front row?

I missed the start and came in just after the second goal. We've been in 2nd gear the whole time since really. I'd like to see us play with a bit more intensity on the ball, it's all a bit slow and plodding, though it feels like we're kind of in energy preservation mode to be fair. I'd like to see Isak get a rest, and Big Jow. Maybe Tripper too. And I'd like to see Osula on just for some fun times.

Club needs to hire more seemstresses to design all this gear everyone wants.

Try these cunts*, they've got seamstresses: https://www.easystitch.co.uk/ *Disclaimer: I don't know them, they may not be cunts.