Village Idiot Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 He just scored the winning goal of a WC, he's the most popular man in Spain right now. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 TheBig_Sam: That whining bellend of a milkman called today again, demanding money from me. He got all up in my grill & yelled: "You owe me £36.86, you fat twat. Milk isn't free. You see me walking about with my own cow, nobhead?" I put my hand in my pocket & said "Oh yeah, I've got something for you". But then I pull out a middle finger & brandish it in his shit face. By this stage he's nearly fucking crying. He's shouting "You're a celebrity! You're minted! My kids need new shoes!!". Fucking hilarious. I ended the altercation in typical fashion. I ripped off my shirt and sang 'Party Hard' by Andrew WK at him. Paying For Milk 0 - 1 Big Sam. --- Got a big bouquet of flowers today. Went in for a sniff and it became clear someone had pissed all over them. Mother again The note said "I wish i'd used a condom, you massive twat". What a vicious woman she is. Thought I saw Freddy Mercury's sweet face in the moon tonight. Taken too soon by the flu. I'll find a cure for it one day, Fred. For you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 The mother one is hilarious. He's also got a good one about Robbie Williams haha Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Wore my white suit and Stetson today. Some kids started singing "Smooth Criminal" at me as I went into town to get some muffins. Cunts. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Latest from TheBig_Sam: Just conducted a really exciting musical test during my afternoon wank. Set up two ghetto blasters. One playing 'Wicked Game' by Chris Issak and one with 'Jump Around' by House of Pain. I kept switching between the two tunes during my hand shandy. The different textures the rhythms provided me with were startling & original. When Issak was on I kept it slow and luxurious. Then when the House of Pain joint dropped, I was rowdy and rambuctious in my efforts. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Duper Branko Strupar Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/liverpool/35857/ryan-babels-swimming-shorts-story-is-a-must-read.html Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Was expecting something funny to happen but it just never did. Maybe it was a 'you had to be there story'.......why was the Jamaican guy so shocked that he wanted swimming shorts? Weird. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Duper Branko Strupar Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Its just the language he uses man, how can anyone even think about talking like that Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astroblack Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 The Big sam at it again.. 'The Passion of the Christ' is on TV. Haven't seen a lad take such a hiding since Kevin Davies kicked the shit out of that dwarf at Butlins. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirge Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 fabcoloccini Me and jonas saw steve bruce on northumberland street, we kegged him and stole his lighter, hiding and giggling now funny fkers those that do these fake tweets like Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Do you think? I reckon they're just attention seeking knob jockeys tbh. Have you seen the Kevin Nolan one? The imposter has gone to ridiculous lengths to convince people its genuine. Lee Ryder tweeted last night though that Nolan had told him it was a fake. I think only Wayne Routledge's is genuine. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirge Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Do you think? I reckon they're just attention seeking knob jockeys tbh. Have you seen the Kevin Nolan one? The imposter has gone to ridiculous lengths to convince people its genuine. Lee Ryder tweeted last night though that Nolan had told him it was a fake. I think only Wayne Routledge's is genuine. Oh the Nolan one is over the top he does try to make out tis real but most of them are funny stuff and make it obvious they are not real. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Ones like Big Sam and Joey Barton are amusing at times but the joke wears thin after a few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Ones like Big Sam and Joey Barton are amusing at times but the joke wears thin after a few weeks. You are a right beam of sunshine and happiness these days Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouldy_uk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Thought I saw Freddy Mercury's sweet face in the moon tonight. Taken too soon by the flu. I'll find a cure for it one day, Fred. For you. Brilliant :mackems: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Aye, I've been a grumpy bugger recently. Just part of my pessimism for the season ahead. Duly noted though, will try harder. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Aye, I've been a grumpy bugger recently. Just part of my pessimism for the season ahead. Duly noted though, will try harder. I'm not exactly dripping with optimism, to be fair. When people start slagging off the comical genius of Big Sam and Joey Barton you know it's gone too far though. You're just missing NE5 man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I still pop over to Toontastic to lurk at his ramblings, which haven't changed one jot since 2008. I wonder who Big Sam is? Do you think he's announced to his friends about his antics or just lives a bizarre double life through Twitter. Some of the stuff he comes up with is genuinely weird. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I wouldn't be surprised if it was someone off one of the message boards. You'd imagine someone spending that much time updating Twitter with random comments would knock about forums too. It is weird like, but they do have some genuinely funny moments. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conjo Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I still pop over to Toontastic to lurk at his ramblings, which haven't changed one jot since 2008. Is it only me that feel a little sad by this? Poor man Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiquidAK Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 "WE LEFT DA HOUSE KEYS INSIDE DA HOUSE WHEN WE WERE IN A RUSH TO DA AIRPORT!!!! OMGG !!!!! " :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I'm surprised no ones done a piss take of how often he tweets. 'just X'd da ball in2 da box, Kuyt missed da sitta lol' etc. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest je85 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 The Ryan Babel account is so funny it's almost like a parody account. There was a tweet a while ago about being left home for an away trip to Stoke that was brilliant. Also I think Danny Simpson's account is real too, but very rarely used. The fake Nolan one is just sad. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I remember a Babel tweet where he said he'd went to training but no-one had told him it was cancelled. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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