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Joe Kinnear

Dave

by Dave
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Dave

Dave

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Just catching up on the NUFC.com advent calendar and felt compelled to post this as a reminder.

 

We did have genuine concerns that Chris Hughton's recent exit would see the return of another former Spurs full-back to the manager's chair at St.James' Park. Thankfully those fears proved to be unfounded, with Alan Pardew's arrival at least sparing Newcastle fans further embarrassment at the language-mangling Joe F***ing Kinnear (JFK) and his unbearable utterances. Here's a sample:

 

Under starters orders: Before he'd even taken charge of the team, JFK's arrival at SJP for the game against Blackburn Rovers saw him interviewed live by BBC's Football Focus. The Beeb were then forced to air an apology after our hero said of Mike Ashley, "He's the one who's cleared the debts, he's the one who's put the money in. He's the one who's got Newcastle out of the s***."

 

(Just to confirm, the apology was for the swear word, not the twaddle he was talking).

 

Wild Rover: After having watched that game from the Directors Box and player's tunnel:

 

“Yes, I did receive a two-match ban for calling a ref Coco the Clown. It was at Rotherham away. But I’m down to one after today (it was actually at Gillingham).....we had a reasonable chance when Jeremiah could have got his shot off."

 

The Press Conference: claimed by some to be a brilliant piece of management, taking the "heat" off his players after five successive losses by focusing media attention on himself. Others take the view that it was a foul-mouthed, off-the-cuff rant not heard since the halcyon days of Derek and Clive. Full transcript here and uncensored audio version on this youtube clip [below] - NB: between the swearing, JFK does confirm the NUFC have "between 6 and 8 consortiums lined up" to buy them.

 

 

Losing at the mackems: "It's not Joey Barton's fault, is it? He's been in the thick of everything this week. Any mass murder that's been going on in this country, his name has been associated with it."

 

Beating Villa at home: A high point, as Chris Hughton does the press. JFK has a sore throat.

 

The Disney channel: Losing 1-2 at Fulham, the winner a penalty: "There was a blatant foul prior to the penalty. We've got the Mickey Mouse referee (Martin Atkinson) doing nothing. He's made an error that cost us. It just doesn't stop but that's the standard of refereeing in this country."

 

Stoke City (h) sent from the dugout after abusing the officials.

Hull City (h) FAC (quite literally...) sent from the dugout after abusing the officials. We're no lipreaders, but our interpretation was: "you f***ing c**t.  Go on f**k off you f***ing w**ker"

 

Sleepless nights: a bumper bundle of comments following a defeat at Man City:

 

"As did Insomnia, Somnia, Charlie..."

 

"I've got a three-and-a-half year contract on the table that I myself haven't signed. I could have signed it three weeks ago but I'm prepared to leave the situation as it is until the end of the season and take stock then."

 

"Mike has lost £2bn* in his own business because of the credit crunch - it's not easy for him. He's paying the wages, just about. But it's in the records, you just have to look. I do not know what this club is worth, but at the moment we have to get on with it as best we can."

 

*(The Sunday Times had previously estimated Ashley's wealth @ £1.4bn)

 

Our favourite though remains this piece of classic Sweeney scriptwriting:

 

"A lot of big names out there didn't have the arsehole to take this job. You can see why so many people bottled it."

 

Thanks to JFK, we certainly ended up with the arsehole for this job - but remember, had he not been taken ill, then we would have stayed up...

 

PS: we almost forgot..... August 5th 2009: "I''ve spoke to Derek Lambezi they've offered me a two year contract and they wanted to announced it last week, but I've put it on hold...I should be back in a month at the most. In the meantime, anything can happen..."

 

What exactly did we do to deserve that? :lol:

 

:kinnear:

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