BottledDog Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 From todays Fiver - THE PARDIOLA WAY The Fiver likes to think that the pilot of the plane taking Newcastle United back from London last night landed about halfway through the journey – around, say, the hamlet of Hole Bottom in North Yorkshire – then alighted from his aircraft and wandered aimlessly around a field for several hours, pausing occasionally to sample berries or tread in cowpat. We also like to think that when a bemused Alan Pardew accosted him to ask just what the hell he was playing at, the pilot, showing a cavalier disregard for the risk of headbuttery, replied: "I tried to give my best, I think I did OK." For that is how Pardew accounted for his team's unscheduled amble around the Emirates last night, after which Newcastle were left with a sixth straight defeat and a 14th loss from their last 19 league matches. "All I can do is get my team in the best possible place," pleaded Pardew as many members of the Toon Army put their tops on in a traditional Geordie display of disgust. "We could have copped harm tonight when we were 2-0 down but we came out with our dignity still there," claimed the manager, whose novel attempt to find a positive in his side's 3-0 defeat showed that Newcastle are not entirely devoid of creativity. Newcastle's two most inventive players this season, meanwhile, were not present, Yohan Cabaye having been sold to Paris Saint-Germain as soon as Mike Ashley was satisfied that mid-table irrelevance had been secured, and Hatem Ben Arfa having been dropped again, seemingly because of an unsatisfactory attitude. If there was one manager in the league who you might think could empathise with a player who's head is in the wrong place, it would be Pardew, but Newcastle's gaffer, like so many before him, seems unable to get the best out of Ben Arfa, who has enough talent to be on a par with Eden Hazard or even Him but has instead become less useful than Adel Taarabt. Many fans want Pardew sacked and a case can certainly be made for that. Some would say his players have been making it for the last four months. But the only thing United about Newcastle at the moment is that everyone at the club bears some of the blame for their ridiculous collapse in the second half of the season, when they went from challenging for a place in Big Cup to jostling for a deckchair by the pool. Mind you, if we're going to point fingers then let's also jab some in the direction of several other clubs: for what does it say about the self-styled "most competitive league in the world" that a team can drift like logs on the Tyne for several months and still wash up in the top half of the table? http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/apr/29/the-fiver-newcastle-alan-pardew Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ameritoon Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Imagine thinking he should not only stay on, but should be given the freedom to restructure the team in the summer. There's only one outcome then. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ_NUFC Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Imagine thinking he should not only stay on, but should be given the freedom to restructure the team in the summer. There's only one outcome then. In a way I badly want this to happen now, as much as it fills me with horror. Then when he inevitably fails after signing cloggers and hoofers, at least those who currently support him can see him, FINALLY, for the fraud that he is. Unreal that we have to allow him to spend a dime and then fail for people to see how shit a fucking manager he is. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRon Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Imagine thinking he should not only stay on, but should be given the freedom to restructure the team in the summer. There's only one outcome then. In a way I badly want this to happen now, as much as it fills me with horror. Then when he inevitably fails after signing cloggers and hoofers, at least those who currently support him can see him, FINALLY, for the fraud that he is. Unreal that we have to allow him to spend a dime and then fail for people to see how shit a fucking manager he is. I said the same a couple of days ago. It will be another season wasted but at least we'll get a good laugh from his stupid excuses. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bimpy474 Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Dear god http://i.imgur.com/wEBPe5E.png Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronaldo Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bimpy474 Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 De Boer would bring, Bergkamp as assistant, Overmars as DOF and Stam as defensive coach. SSN are reporting if he went to Tottenham, wish it was here. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliottman Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Fucking hell tremendous Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bowlingcrofty Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 The vote they're doing has the P45DUE ahead of that one. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan_Taylor Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 P45DUE is good also Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElDiablo Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 No 'Shitjew'? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Dear god http://i.imgur.com/wEBPe5E.png so glad he decided to take the press on Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Numbers Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Dear god http://i.imgur.com/wEBPe5E.png I like it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leazes1986 Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 This ones winning the votes by a mile. Love it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bimpy474 Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 The vote they're doing has the P45DUE ahead of that one. Aye, but i couldn't find a pic of that one. Edit : someone has. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beren Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Need to make more of the 14/20 losses. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Numbers Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Why didn't they include the derby losses in the headline? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deuce Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 I wonder what league we'd end up in if we let him see out his contract. Probably get passed by Gateshead on their way up. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Is he wearing lipstick? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Why didn't they include the derby losses in the headline? Probably got a double page spread with all his other milestones on. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Numbers Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Is he wearing lipstick? Nah hes been at the remainder of Demba's strawberry syrup. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Need to make more of the 14/20 losses. 14/19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beren Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Need to make more of the 14/20 losses. 14/19 Worse loss % Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Someone get the cunt some vaseline. What a fucking rank mush on him, must be all that rimming he does. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts