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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man Utd

3rd-6th: Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham (then Everton)

Relegation: Bournemouth, West Brom, Leicester/Sunderland

Overachievers: West Ham, also think Stoke will continue their slow crawl up

Underperformers: Southampton (defence decimated and Europa League)

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero/Costa

Break Out Year: Riviere Deeney, Origi, Redmond, Aarons, Cedric Soares, Muniesa, Ikechi Anya, really want Okazaki to do well but can't see it

Season to Forget: Kane (worked out), Ings (Rodgers), Butland (Not that good), Firmino (Rodgers), Ayew, Ogbonna, Schweinsteiger, Bolasie (those last few are all punts)

PFA Player of the Year: Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Depay

Manager of the Year: Schteeve Van Gaal

First manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pulis / Advocaat / Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 9th

Top Goalscorer?:  :la: (nah, Austin if we get him)

How will we do in the cup competitions?:

How will we do in the derby games?: SIX POINTS (two points)

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: QPR, Blackburn, Burreh

Championship Relegation: Bristol, Rotherham, Brighton

League One Promotion: Don't

League One Relegation: Give

League Two Promotion: A

League Two Relegation: f***

 

FA Cup: Man City

League Cup: Chelsea

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Pfftt

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona, after a second-half of the season revival spurred on by "just like a new signing" players.

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Valencia / Zenit / Porto / another of the dropouts

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Similar to Burnley, they'll try hard and come close, but ultimately fail

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Late October

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: Three

How will De Jong get injured this season: Clog dancing :racism:

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Like the man said, I was going to wait, but my predictions last year were Godawful so I may as well...

 

Premiership

 

Winners: Manchester City

Runners Up: Chelsea

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man U, Liverpool, Spurs.

Relegation: Bournemouth, Norwich, Watford

Overachievers: Newcastle U

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Alli, Pritchard

Season to Forget: Sherwood & Delph

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Sterling

Manager of the Year: Pellegrini

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Slaven Bilic

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: Eighth

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic/Austin/Kane/whoever you sign

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Lose FA Cup Final, Quarters of the League Cup

How will we do in the derby games?: Win both 5-0

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: Middlesbro, Leeds, Burnley

Championship Relegation: QPR, MK Dons, Brentford

League One Promotion: Sheff Utd, Coventry, Peterborough

League One Relegation: Blackpool, Doncaster, Rochdale

League Two Promotion: Barnet, Leyton Orient, AFC Wimbledon. Fat chance of any of that, but that's who I actually want.

League Two Relegation: Morecambe, Luton. Or two of the above three.

 

FA Cup: Sunderland beating you guys. Naah, it'll be Arsenal.

League Cup: Liverpool

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Chesterfield

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barca

Serie A winner: Juve

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Barca

Europa League winner: Marseille

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fare in their first outing in the Premier League: 18th

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Never

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 3 in the league.

How will De Jong get injured this season: Meteorite.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Man United, Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs

Relegation: Aston Villa, Bournemouth, Leicester City

Overachievers: Swansea (7th)

Underperformers: West Ham (14th/15th?)

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero (if he stays fit)

Break Out Year: Ibe, Aarons, Grealish

Season to Forget: Falcao, Delph, Juanmi, Cabaye

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Depay/The Ox

Manager of the Year: Gary Monk

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Quique Flores (December)

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 11th

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic (12 league goals)

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 5th Round Carling Cup, 4th Round FA Cup

How will we do in the derby games?: Both draws

 

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Man United

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: CL dropout

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Survive on the final day

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: They'll keep lapping up his s*** while he guides them to a 15th place finish

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: Be back at Serie A (11 league goals)

How will De Jong get injured this season: Collision with Mitrovic mid game

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Premiership

 

Winners: Man City

Runners Up: Chelsea

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man Utd, Liverpool, Spurs

Relegation: Norwich, Bournemouth, WBA

Overachievers: Watford

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Diego Costa

Break Out Year: Ibe

Season to Forget: Danny Ings, Dimitri Payet

PFA Player of the Year:  Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Sterling

Manager of the Year: Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Bilic

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 14th

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 4th round FA Cup, 3rd round League Cup

How will we do in the derby games?: 1 point

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: QPR, Wolves, Boro

Championship Relegation: Rotherham, Preston, MK Dons

League One Promotion: Doncaster, Peterborough, Bradford

League One Relegation: Blackpool, Port Vale, Rochdale

League Two Promotion: Leyton Orient, Yeovil, Notts County, AFC Wimbledon

League Two Relegation: Carlisle, Barnet

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Arsenal

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Sheffield United

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Napoli

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Finish 2nd bottom

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: April

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 4

How will De Jong get injured this season: Hayfever

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man United

3rd-6th: Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs

Relegation: Watford, Bournemouth, Leicester City

Overachievers: Norwich to finish comfortably midtable

Underperformers: West Ham 15th or worse

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Ibe, Grealish, Callum Wilson

Season to Forget: Falcao, Delph, Sterling, Affelay

PFA Player of the Year: Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Kane

Manager of the Year: Alex Neil

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Slaven Bilic

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 12th

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic (10 league goals)

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 4th round in both cups

How will we do in the derby games?: win at home, lose away

 

Domestic

Championship Promotion: QPR, Hull, Boro

Championship Relegation: Rotherham, Birmingham, Charlton

League One Promotion: Swindon, Sheffield U, Millwall

League One Relegation: Bury, Crewe, Southend, Colchester

League Two Promotion: Crawley, Luton, Wycombe, Stevenage

League Two Relegation: Mansfield, Cambridge

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Chelsea

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Sheffield U

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: Dortmund/CL dropout

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Valiant relegation (like Blackpool)

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Not this season I'm afraid

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: If at Liverpool 4

How will De Jong get injured this season: Smallpox

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PREMIERSHIP:

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man United, Liverpool, Everton

Relegation: Bournemouth, Leicester, Watford

Overachievers: Norwich (still lower half but I don’t think there’ll be a huge shock)

Underperformers: Crystal Palace

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero (24)

Break Out Year: Jordan Ibe, Matt Ritchie, Jordan Amavi, Troy Deeney, Memphis Depay, Jack Butland

Season to Forget: Harry Kane, Roberto Firmino, Yohan Cabaye, Claudio Ranieri, Adam Johnson, Ross Barkley

PFA Player of the Year: Diego Costa

PFA Young Player of the Year: Some 26-year-old

Manager of the Year: Jose Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Claudio Ranieri or Quique Sanchez Flores

 

NEWCASTLE UNITED:

 

Where will we finish?: 13th

Top Goalscorer?: Aleksandar Mitrovic (12)

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Out in 4th round both times

How will we do in the derby games?: Lose one, draw one

 

DOMESTIC:

 

Championship Promotion: Middlesbrough, Derby, Hull

Championship Relegation: Rotherham, MK Dons, Preston

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Man United

 

EUROPE:

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: Some CL group loser

World Player of the Year: Messi is back!!!!

 

OTHER:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Heroic relegation, like we’ve seen so many times before. Lots of goals, lots conceded.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: They won’t because they’re idiots.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 3, before a January sale

How will De Jong get injured this season: Walks into a pane of glass, DIY work goes wrong, brings back conjunctivitis to the squad.

 

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PREMIERSHIP:

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man United, Spurs, Liverpool

Relegation: Bournemouth, Leicester, Watford

Overachievers: Norwich

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Costa

Break Out Year: Aarons

Season to Forget: Walcott

PFA Player of the Year: Diego Costa

PFA Young Player of the Year: Harry Kane

Manager of the Year: Jose Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Quique Sanchez Flores

 

NEWCASTLE UNITED:

 

Where will we finish?: 11th

Top Goalscorer?: Wijnaldum

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Badly

How will we do in the derby games?: draws

 

DOMESTIC:

 

Championship Promotion: Middlesbrough, Derby, Hull

Championship Relegation: Rotherham, MK Dons, Preston

FA Cup: Man City

League Cup: Man United

 

EUROPE:

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Real Madrid

Europa League winner: Some CL group loser

World Player of the Year: Jack Colback :razz: Nah seriously messi

 

OTHER:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: relegated after someone (probably sunderland) poaches him mid-season

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: not this season.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: none for liverpool

How will De Jong get injured this season: slip on a banana peel

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Manchester United

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Manchester City, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Leicester, Sunderland, Bournemouth

Overachievers: Watford

Underperformers: Liverpool

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Harrison Reed

Season to Forget: Christian Benteke

PFA Player of the Year: Eden Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Raheem Sterling

Manager of the Year: Quique Flores

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Claudio Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: :yao:

Top Goalscorer?: Papiss Cisse

How will we do in the cup competitions?: :yao:

How will we do in the derby games?: :yao:

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Tottenham

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Napoli

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: a valiant effort, but relegated.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: soon. poon. cloon.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: threve

How will De Jong get injured this season: breathing.

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Man City, Liverpool, Southampton

Relegation: Watford, Bournemouth, Leicester

Overachievers: Norwich

Underperformers: Tottenham

Top Goal Scorer: Alexis Sanchez

Break Out Year: Tom Carroll

Season to Forget: Danny Ings, Raheem Sterling, Diego Costa (through injury)

PFA Player of the Year: Alexis Sanchez

PFA Young Player of the Year: Tom Carroll

Manager of the Year: Jose Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 14th

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic

How will we do in the cup competitions?: :lol:

How will we do in the derby games?: :lol:

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: Boro, Derby, Bristol City

Championship Relegation: Rotherham, Birmingham, Bolton

League One Promotion: Wigan, Sheff Utd, Bradford

League One Relegation: Blackpool

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Man City

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Sheff Utd

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: CL drop out

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Probably play half decent football and everyone will wish them well but ultimately they'll comfortably go down.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Feb/March 2016

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 7

How will De Jong get injured this season: Broken neck

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Premiership

 

Winners: Arsenal

Runners Up: Chelsea

3rd-6th: Man Citeh, Man Utd, Liverpool, Southampton

Relegation: Leicester, Norwich, Watford

Overachievers: Bournemouth

Underperformers: Spurs

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Aarons

Season to Forget: Kane

PFA Player of the Year: Alexis Sanchez

PFA Young Player of the Year: Raheem Sterling

Manager of the Year: Arsene Wenger

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Claudio Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 14th

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Quarters of Worthington Cup, Fifth round of the FA Cup

How will we do in the derby games?: 4 points

 

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Citeh

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: Benfica

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fare in their first outing in the Premier League: refreshingly well

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: back end of the season

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 4 in the league

How will De Jong get injured this season: Blunt force trauma during suspension in a zero gravity machine

 

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: Man City, Man Utd, Spurs, Liverpool

Relegation: Bournemouth, Leicester, Watford

Overachievers: Villa

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Costa

Break Out Year: Copied someone else with Ibe.

Season to Forget: Firmino or Harry Kane

PFA Player of the Year: Walcott

PFA Young Player of the Year: Zouma

Manager of the Year: Wenger

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Quique Flores

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 11th

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic

How will we do in the cup competitions?: QF of both

How will we do in the derby games?: Win at home, draw away.

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: Derby, Middlesbrough, Brentford

Championship Relegation: Rotherham, Preston, Bolton

League One Promotion: Peterborough, Swindon, Sheff Utd

League One Relegation: Shrewsbury, Blackpool, Crewe, Coventry

League Two Promotion: Southend, Plymouth, Portsmouth, Wycombe

League Two Relegation: Mansfield, Carlisle

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Man City

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Peterborough

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Bayern

Europa League winner: Dortmund

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: they'll do a Burnley.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Never - it'll be NUFC fans fault.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 4

How will De Jong get injured this season: 4 injuries

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Man City, Spurs, Southampton

Relegation: West Ham, Leicester, Norwich

Overachievers: Bournemouth (15th)

Underperformers: Liverpool (10th)

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Luke Shaw

Season to Forget: Yaya Toure

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Grealish

Manager of the Year: Eddie Howe

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Bilic

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 12th

Top Goalscorer?: Wijnaldum

How will we do in the cup competitions?: League Cup: 4th Round, FA Cup: 5th Round

How will we do in the derby games?: Win one, lose one.

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: Burnley, Middlesbrough, Sheffield Wednesday

Championship Relegation: Brighton, Leeds, Charlton

League One Promotion: Coventry, Bradford, Wigan

League One Relegation: Blackpool, Rochdale, Gillingham, Bury

League Two Promotion: Plymouth, Yeovil, Crawley, Leyton Orient

League Two Relegation: Oxford, Hartlepool

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Southampton

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Bradford

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Chelsea

Europa League winner: Sevilla

World Player of the Year:Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Finish in a noble 15th, playing good football along the way.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: February

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 2

How will De Jong get injured this season: Scold his mouth drinking his tea too quickly.

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man Utd

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man City, Liverpool, Spurs

Relegation: Leicester, Watford, Norwich

Overachievers: Villa

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Aarons

Season to Forget: Ings

PFA Player of the Year: Sanchez

PFA Young Player of the Year: Depay

Manager of the Year: Sherwood

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 9

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic

How will we do in the cup competitions?: LC semi final, FA Cup 5th round

How will we do in the derby games?: 1 win, 1 loss

 

Domestic

 

FA Cup: Man Utd

League Cup: Aston Villa

 

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Barca

Europa League winner: Dortmund

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Brely surive

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: March

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 2

How will De Jong get injured this season: Car crash

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My main prediction is that Man U will still be well short of challenging for the title, and Liverpool will do better than last year. I rate Clyne, Milner and Sturridge, assuming he plays. Benteke too of course. Gerrard was a millstone, as was Balotelli, easily the worst signing of the season. Gerrard->Milner and Balotelli->Benteke is worth 9 or 10 points, even with Brenda calling the shots. For Man U to do well, they need to sort out the keeper situation and get a top class striker in. Man U have loads of money, so they still may make bids at the last minute, as with Falcao last time. As things stand, their squad looks even more unbalanced than the one LVG inherited (Rooney RVP Hernandez Wellbeck). After di Maria, Falcao, Herrera, and Valdes, there are also doubts over whether LVG is the right man to handle whatever marquee signings they can get in.

 

Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea (by a smaller margin)

Runners Up: Arsenal (add a striker and they'll win the league)

3rd-6th: City, .......big gap......, ferk it, Liverpool, Man U, Spurs

Relegation: Leicester, Sunderland, one of the promoted teams

Overachievers: (relatively speaking) Liverpool

Underperformers: Man U

Top Goal Scorer: Costa/Aguero too injury prone, so Kane. Looks far too good to be a one-season wonder

Break Out Year: Milner back to Villa form?

Season to Forget: Van Gaal

PFA Player of the Year: Hazard or Alexis Sanchez

PFA Young Player of the Year: Kane, possibly Sterling

Manager of the Year: Wenger (for winning or going pretty close)

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 11th/12th, which sounds meh, but we'll score a few more, concede at least fifteen less, and do much better at set pieces. I think we'll see identifiable progress and won't be worrying about relegation

Top Goalscorer?: Cisse if still around, Mitrovic if not

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Maybe win a tie or two before the draw gives us Chelsea in the fourth or fifth round as normal

How will we do in the derby games?: Win one of them

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Dunno, but good luck to em!

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Haven't seen their fixtures, but I guess there'll be doubts by Christmas

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: None, he'll be off

How will De Jong get injured this season: Collision with Tiote?

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Man City, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Mackems, Watford, Leicester

Overachievers: Bournemouth

Underperformers: Everton

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Cabella, Origi, mings, Ali, Grimes

Season to Forget: Kane, Schweinsteiger, Lallana, yaya, afellay

PFA Player of the Year: Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Depay

Manager of the Year: Howe

First manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: 11th

Top Goalscorer: Cisse 13

How will we do in the cup competitions?: quarters of both

How will we do in the derby games?: Win at home draw away

 

Domestic

 

Championship Promotion: Hull, Derby, boro

Championship Relegation: reading , Rotherham, Cardiff

League One Promotion: Sheff U, Wigan, Barnsley.

League One Relegation: crewe, Colchester, Southend, Blackpool

League Two Promotion: leyton orient, Luton, Portsmouth, Plymouth

League Two Relegation: York, Morecambe

 

FA Cup: Man Utd

League Cup: Spurs

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Millwall

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: Southampton

World Player of the Year: Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Very well, lower mid table

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Late February

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: Two

How will De Jong get injured this season: Fractured buttocks

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Premiership:

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: Man City, Man Utd, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Sunderland, Leicester, Norwich

Overachievers: Bournemouth

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Aleksandar Mitrovic

Season to Forget: Raheem Sterling

PFA Player of the Year: Sergio Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Aleksandar Mitrovic

Manager of the Year: Eddie Howe

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Claudio Ranieri

 

Newcastle United:

Where will we finish?: 11th

Top Goalscorer?: Aleksandar Mitrovic with 16 goals.

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 4th round in both.

How will we do in the derby games?: 1-1 at home and 0-2 away.

 

Domestic:

Championship Promotion: Derby, Leeds, QPR

Championship Relegation: Sheffield Wednesday, Fulham, Rotherham

League One Promotion: Sheffield United, Millwall, Peterborough

League One Relegation: Bury, Gillingham, Walsall, Blackpool

League Two Promotion: Yeovil, Cambridge, Crawley, AFC Wimbledon

League Two Relegation: Wycombe, Barnet

 

FA Cup: Man City

League Cup: Arsenal

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Leeds

 

Europe:

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: Borussia Dortmund

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: 8th

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: They won't this season, next however.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 2

How will De Jong get injured this season: Ruptured achilles.

 

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Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: Man City, Man Utd, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Watford, Leicester, Norwich

Overachievers: No-one

Underperformers: Stoke

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Darmian (in terms)

Season to Forget: Kane

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Sterling

Manager of the Year: Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Sanchez Flores

 

Newcastle United:

Where will we finish?: 12th

Top Goalscorer?: Aleksandar Mitrovic with 10 goals.

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 4th round in both.

How will we do in the derby games?: 1-1 at home and 2-1 away.

 

Domestic:

Championship Promotion: Derby, Hull, Boro

Championship Relegation: Charlton, MK Dons, Rotherham

League One Promotion: Sheffield United, Wigan, Peterborough

League One Relegation: Bury, Gillingham, Oldham, Blackpool

League Two Promotion: Yeovil, Leyton O, Crawley, Pompey

League Two Relegation: Accrington, Barnet

 

FA Cup: Man Utd

League Cup: Man City

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Swindon

 

Europe:

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Dortmund

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: 18th

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: They won't this season, next however.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: 0 in the PL

How will De Jong get injured this season: "His skull fell off"

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  • 8 months later...

Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Manchester United

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Manchester City, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Leicester, Sunderland, Bournemouth

Overachievers: Watford

Underperformers: Liverpool

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Harrison Reed

Season to Forget: Christian Benteke

PFA Player of the Year: Eden Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Raheem Sterling

Manager of the Year: Quique Flores

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Claudio Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: :yao:

Top Goalscorer?: Papiss Cisse

How will we do in the cup competitions?: :yao:

How will we do in the derby games?: :yao:

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Tottenham

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Napoli

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: a valiant effort, but relegated.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: soon. poon. cloon.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: threve

How will De Jong get injured this season: breathing.

 

 

I feel good about Yao at least :lol:

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Premiership

 

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Manchester United

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Manchester City, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Leicester, Sunderland, Bournemouth

Overachievers: Watford

Underperformers: Liverpool

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Harrison Reed

Season to Forget: Christian Benteke

PFA Player of the Year: Eden Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Raheem Sterling

Manager of the Year: Quique Flores

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Claudio Ranieri

 

Newcastle United

 

Where will we finish?: :yao:

Top Goalscorer?: Papiss Cisse

How will we do in the cup competitions?: :yao:

How will we do in the derby games?: :yao:

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Tottenham

 

Europe

 

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Napoli

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: a valiant effort, but relegated.

When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: soon. poon. cloon.

How many goals will Balotelli score this season: threve

How will De Jong get injured this season: breathing.

 

 

I feel good about Yao at least [emoji38]

Who the fuck is Harrison Reed? [emoji38]

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