Relegationometer

[wormy]

Can at the very best see us getting 4 points out of the next 7 league games.

 

 

 

POINTS

 

It's been soo loong!

[alexf]

Can at the very best see us getting 4 points out of the next 7 league games.

 

 

And without breaking fixture list rules those games i think we could get points in are the JJB team at home and Harry's new team who you know will be a different animal to what they are now so by no means a gimme.

[Guest palnese]

If we keep Pardew - 10

 

If we can get in a decent manager - 0

[johnnypd]

The dickhead in charge's attacking strategy is actually to hit balls at the opposition defence and a) hope there is a defensive spillage b) hope Ba/Cisse can finish from any spillage.

 

THAT IS THE FULL EXTENT OF OUR ATTACKING PLAY.

 

It's been the same with Cabaye, HBA and Colo in the team at different points this season. I'm at a non-sarcastic 9, because I don't think we'll get rid of Pardew until very late in the day.

 

Spot on. Plan B meanwhile is to give the ball to Ben Arfa on the half way line with 10 opposition players between him and the goal and see what happens.

 

I get the impression that we practice pretty much zero possession play, fluidity, one-touch or attacking moves in training. I'm talking about training that focuses on our team, not the opposition.

 

Our token attacking day, let's call it dress down friday, probably consists of watching a video of the opposition's defensive weaknesses in the penalty box and then doing a couple of drills over and over to try and take advantage of that. 90% of these drills involve whacking set pieces to williamson.

 

Ancelotti said the other day that a great manager is one who has their own, recognisable style of play. Sooner or later you have to work on making your team good and building an ethos, not just trying to counter-attack your opponents. Even tossers like Allardyce and Pulis do this, even if i disagree with their preferred methods. If Pardew has not learnt this yet, after being a manager for quite a while already, he never will.

 

Still recall that anecdote about when Cantona would keep Man Utd's youngsters back after training to work on simple things like group keepy-ups and retaining possession. The young lads asked him why they'd been passing it around for 15 mins as they were still in the same position they were when they started doing the exercise. Cantona looked at them and said 'yes, but the opposition are now all over the place." Those youngsters were the likes of Neville, Beckham, Scholes etc. I also remember reading an interview with some ex-liverpool players, the likes of Hansen, who boasted that at their peak the team could've played in blind-folds - that's how strong their understanding was. At one point there was even a jokey rumour floating around that Keegan and Toshack had mastered telepathy. But if you spent 99% of your time adjusting the side to counter the opposition you will never reach those heights.

 

Mind you we look like we're playing in blind folds as well. only not in a good way.

[Yorkie]

The dickhead in charge's attacking strategy is actually to hit balls at the opposition defence and a) hope there is a defensive spillage b) hope Ba/Cisse can finish from any spillage.

 

THAT IS THE FULL EXTENT OF OUR ATTACKING PLAY.

 

It's been the same with Cabaye, HBA and Colo in the team at different points this season. I'm at a non-sarcastic 9, because I don't think we'll get rid of Pardew until very late in the day.

 

Spot on. Plan B meanwhile is to give the ball to Ben Arfa on the half way line with 10 opposition players between him and the goal and see what happens.

 

I get the impression that we practice pretty much zero possession play, fluidity, one-touch or attacking moves in training. I'm talking about training that focuses on our team, not the opposition.

 

Our token attacking day, let's call it dress down friday, probably consists of watching a video of the opposition's defensive weaknesses in the penalty box and then doing a couple of drills over and over to try and take advantage of that. 90% of these drills involve whacking set pieces to williamson.

 

Ancelotti said the other day that a great manager is one who has their own, recognisable style of play. Sooner or later you have to work on making your team good and building an ethos, not just trying to counter-attack your opponents. Even tossers like Allardyce and Pulis do this, even if i disagree with their preferred methods. If Pardew has not learnt this yet, after being a manager for quite a while already, he never will.

 

Still recall that anecdote about when Cantona would keep Man Utd's youngsters back after training to work on simple things like group keepy-ups and retaining possession. The young lads asked him why they'd been passing it around for 15 mins as they were still in the same position they were when they started doing the exercise. Cantona looked at them and said 'yes, but the opposition are now all over the place." Those youngsters were the likes of Neville, Beckham, Scholes etc. I also remember reading an interview with some ex-liverpool players, the likes of Hansen, who boasted that at their peak the team could've played in blind-folds - that's how strong their understanding was. At one point there was even a jokey rumour floating around that Keegan and Toshack had mastered telepathy. But if you spent 99% of your time adjusting the side to counter the opposition you will never reach those heights.

 

Mind you we look like we're playing in blind folds as well. only not in a good way.

 

Aye, great post. I think you've probably hit our weekly training regime absolutely on the nail. It's absolutely ridiculous, with the talent we have in our squad, that we're not focusing on attacking. As i keep saying, any defensive work during the week is completely negated by the fact we don't know how to attack. Training is clearly all, all wrong.

[DubblyDubblyDubbly]

We have sh*t-hot attackers

We have sh*t defenders

You can't polish a turd. Bring back Keegan's philosophy.. attack attack attack

[HawK]

We have sh*t-hot attackers

We have sh*t defenders

You can't polish a turd. Bring back Keegan's philosophy.. attack attack attack

 

Well actually I disagree about the defence, I think we have solid attackers, solid centre, solid at the back and solid in goal. The squad cries out to play narrow in the middle as that's the kind of personnel we have, and is conducive to the 3 up top which also suits our attack. Been laying low a while, but it strikes me last season when you think back to our games. Demba on his own is the reason we were where we were at at Christmas. Cisse on his own is the reason we were where we were at by the end, with flashes from Ben Arfa and the footballing intelligence of Cabaye/Colicinni to keep us solid enough down the middle. I didn't get the impression we had any possession-based tactics or strategy at all. We finished where we did despite Pardew - he won't get us relegated, but unless our average first team quality is as smart as Barca's, we can't keep relying on individual sparks from flair players as our sole strategy.

[Minhosa]

The fact that you have Ben Arfa, Cabaye and Coloccini to come back suggests to me your first eleven is nowhere near bad enough for you to go down.

 

I like this new Mackem.

[Minhosa]

We'll be in the bottom 3 by Christmas. No doubt about it.

[Wullie]

The dickhead in charge's attacking strategy is actually to hit balls at the opposition defence and a) hope there is a defensive spillage b) hope Ba/Cisse can finish from any spillage.

 

THAT IS THE FULL EXTENT OF OUR ATTACKING PLAY.

 

It's been the same with Cabaye, HBA and Colo in the team at different points this season. I'm at a non-sarcastic 9, because I don't think we'll get rid of Pardew until very late in the day.

 

Spot on. Plan B meanwhile is to give the ball to Ben Arfa on the half way line with 10 opposition players between him and the goal and see what happens.

 

I get the impression that we practice pretty much zero possession play, fluidity, one-touch or attacking moves in training. I'm talking about training that focuses on our team, not the opposition.

 

Our token attacking day, let's call it dress down friday, probably consists of watching a video of the opposition's defensive weaknesses in the penalty box and then doing a couple of drills over and over to try and take advantage of that. 90% of these drills involve whacking set pieces to williamson.

 

Ancelotti said the other day that a great manager is one who has their own, recognisable style of play. Sooner or later you have to work on making your team good and building an ethos, not just trying to counter-attack your opponents. Even tossers like Allardyce and Pulis do this, even if i disagree with their preferred methods. If Pardew has not learnt this yet, after being a manager for quite a while already, he never will.

 

Still recall that anecdote about when Cantona would keep Man Utd's youngsters back after training to work on simple things like group keepy-ups and retaining possession. The young lads asked him why they'd been passing it around for 15 mins as they were still in the same position they were when they started doing the exercise. Cantona looked at them and said 'yes, but the opposition are now all over the place." Those youngsters were the likes of Neville, Beckham, Scholes etc. I also remember reading an interview with some ex-liverpool players, the likes of Hansen, who boasted that at their peak the team could've played in blind-folds - that's how strong their understanding was. At one point there was even a jokey rumour floating around that Keegan and Toshack had mastered telepathy. But if you spent 99% of your time adjusting the side to counter the opposition you will never reach those heights.

 

Mind you we look like we're playing in blind folds as well. only not in a good way.

 

Absolutely right and you and I have been banging this drum for a long time now. It should never have got to this stage.

[Beren]

The dickhead in charge's attacking strategy is actually to hit balls at the opposition defence and a) hope there is a defensive spillage b) hope Ba/Cisse can finish from any spillage.

 

THAT IS THE FULL EXTENT OF OUR ATTACKING PLAY.

 

It's been the same with Cabaye, HBA and Colo in the team at different points this season. I'm at a non-sarcastic 9, because I don't think we'll get rid of Pardew until very late in the day.

 

Spot on. Plan B meanwhile is to give the ball to Ben Arfa on the half way line with 10 opposition players between him and the goal and see what happens.

 

I get the impression that we practice pretty much zero possession play, fluidity, one-touch or attacking moves in training. I'm talking about training that focuses on our team, not the opposition.

 

Our token attacking day, let's call it dress down friday, probably consists of watching a video of the opposition's defensive weaknesses in the penalty box and then doing a couple of drills over and over to try and take advantage of that. 90% of these drills involve whacking set pieces to williamson.

 

Ancelotti said the other day that a great manager is one who has their own, recognisable style of play. Sooner or later you have to work on making your team good and building an ethos, not just trying to counter-attack your opponents. Even tossers like Allardyce and Pulis do this, even if i disagree with their preferred methods. If Pardew has not learnt this yet, after being a manager for quite a while already, he never will.

 

Still recall that anecdote about when Cantona would keep Man Utd's youngsters back after training to work on simple things like group keepy-ups and retaining possession. The young lads asked him why they'd been passing it around for 15 mins as they were still in the same position they were when they started doing the exercise. Cantona looked at them and said 'yes, but the opposition are now all over the place." Those youngsters were the likes of Neville, Beckham, Scholes etc. I also remember reading an interview with some ex-liverpool players, the likes of Hansen, who boasted that at their peak the team could've played in blind-folds - that's how strong their understanding was. At one point there was even a jokey rumour floating around that Keegan and Toshack had mastered telepathy. But if you spent 99% of your time adjusting the side to counter the opposition you will never reach those heights.

 

Mind you we look like we're playing in blind folds as well. only not in a good way.

 

 

Nice anecdotes

[Tiresias]

We've the feeling of Bolton last season

[midds]

It's a possibility. The performances and results are hideous and I can't see them improving whilst Pardew is in charge. He's lost the dressing room in my opinion and it's only a matter of time until he walks or is binned.

 

The longer he stays the more likely it is and it's fucking too close right now.

 

5

[CaliMag]

6 for the same reasons mentioned above. At this point it is merely a question of how bad the other teams in the relegation battle are.

[Guest Geordiesned]

If we lose tomorrow we'll have 14 points after 14 games. Exactly the same as in the relegation season. In that relegation season we'd scored 3 more goals at the same stage than we have this season.

[TheGuv]

[Guest neesy111]

If we lose tomorrow we'll have 14 points after 14 games. Exactly the same as in the relegation season. In that relegation season we'd scored 3 more goals at the same stage than we have this season.

 

We had our 3rd manager by now in the relegation season as well.

[brummie]

I've seen this thread and avoided it till now as I'd thought you were nuts to even consider it. Then I noticed that we are only 1 point behind you, despite us being almost pathologically unable to win matches.

 

The general standard of the league is terrible this year. Anyone could go.

 

Tell you what, though, on the bright side, Sunderland will be one of them I reckon.

[thomas]

9's ffs.  crawl in a hole and die.

[Optimistic Nut]

There were 4 reasons tonight for why we'll not be going down even if we don't pick up much. I'd be very surprised if any of those 4 tonight finish higher than us.

[Dave]

I've seen this thread and avoided it till now as I'd thought you were nuts to even consider it. Then I noticed that we are only 1 point behind you, despite us being almost pathologically unable to win matches.

 

The general standard of the league is terrible this year. Anyone could go.

 

Tell you what, though, on the bright side, Sunderland will be one of them I reckon.

 

And we've only scored 1 goal more than Sunderland, despite them being almost pathologically unable to put the ball in the net and everyone on here laughing at them for it.

[Beren]

There were 4 reasons tonight for why we'll not be going down even if we don't pick up much. I'd be very surprised if any of those 4 tonight finish higher than us.

 

Seems a bit cavalier IMO.

 

QPR have a transfer window, a lot of money/extravagant owners and - now - a really good manager (detestable though he may be!).

 

Mackems have a reasonable first XI, and if MO'N goes, I think they could be fine (depending on who they bring in).

 

Lambert is a fantastic manager for a team like Villa atm. The limitations of his skill have not yet been ascertained, but he's a shrewd tactician/motivator and has already made a brilliant/brave decision in promoting Benteke ahead of Bent - a move which lesser managers may have dallied with until it was too late. He's not working with a very experienced or talented squad, but he'll eke every ounce of skill they have from that group. Dour as fuck in interviews, but an effective manager.

 

Reading are pretty boned, I'll give you that. They just don't have enough about them in any sense. They'll try hard, but that's not really enough.

 

As for us - I'm already looking to January. December doesn't bear thinking about with the state of our squad and Pardew intransigently at the helm. What will happen in the January transfer window, if anything, is a mystery - and if it will make any difference with Pardew in charge is also unforeseeable. Hopefully Cabaye/Saylor will make it back to fitness smoothly by February, and we can kick on from there. Until then, we have two centre backs (January miracles notwithstanding) and no real creativity in the centre (not that they'd be used with our current attacking "strategy"). When I see embers of decent football, I may feel less worried, but as is - any kind of form/effective style seems an increasingly distant memory!

[Neil]

I'm still 95% sure you're going to finish in the top half, for what it's worth. I know you're going through a poor run and can see why people are concerned about what might happen but IMO it's a poor run which will be improved, albeit to an extent which will still fall below general season expectations.

 

Loads of teams are separated by very few points at this still early stage of the season. If things haven't improved by the end of January I can see why people would become more worried about the lower reaches of the league. But it still seems a very, very unlikely prospect, for me anyway.

 

 

[brummie]

I've seen this thread and avoided it till now as I'd thought you were nuts to even consider it. Then I noticed that we are only 1 point behind you, despite us being almost pathologically unable to win matches.

 

The general standard of the league is terrible this year. Anyone could go.

 

Tell you what, though, on the bright side, Sunderland will be one of them I reckon.

 

And we've only scored 1 goal more than Sunderland, despite them being almost pathologically unable to put the ball in the net and everyone on here laughing at them for it.

 

On the bright side, your manager doesn't look like a broken man like theirs does. That's all going to end in tears.

[Guest icemanblue]

I'm still 95% sure you're going to finish in the top half, for what it's worth. I know you're going through a poor run and can see why people are concerned about what might happen but IMO it's a poor run which will be improved, albeit to an extent which will still fall below general season expectations.

 

Loads of teams are separated by very few points at this still early stage of the season. If things haven't improved by the end of January I can see why people would become more worried about the lower reaches of the league. But it still seems a very, very unlikely prospect, for me anyway.

 

 

 

Thank fuck for this. I thought I'd entered some kind of alternate reality.