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Most amusing excuses for losing a football match


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Since watching NUFC is so grim, how about some amusement with the best managerial excuse to have lost a match?

We've heard plenty of our own through Allardyce, Pardew, McClaren, Carver, Bruce....


But which other managers have came up with the best b*****ks to explain why they've lost?


Will start with Ferguson blaming a grey away kit for getting stuffed by Southampton as his players couldn't see each other


Bonus for whatever comes out of South/Central America!

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2 minutes ago, Chris_R said:

Dunno if Pardew will top the list, but he'll sure as fuck dominate it in terms of quantity.

Yeah he is, we heard some truly inspired creations from him. We've heard some true whoppers from everyone of our managers since Souness (don't recall how he explained that Wigan match where three of our players all ran in to each other. Also recall blaming the new balls for being too bouncy when Stevenage held us to a draw in the FA cup) but is it a case of we just don't hear or pay attention to what others pass off as excuses?


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10. On struggling to create an atmosphere with the ‘tiny’ crowds they’re pulling in at St James’ Park: “In our stadium 30,000 doesn’t feel like a lot so there was no electricity.”

9. On struggling to do any business in the transfer market in the summer of 2012: “I think it is quiet – whether we’re all enthralled by what’s happening with the Olympics I don’t know.”

8. After being comprehensively knocked out of the FA Cup by League Two opposition in 2011: “There’s a few in there that need to understand what this game’s about….a few young boys got caught out tonight by the passion and the physical side of Stevenage.”

7. On not being able to compete with Man City: “They have a sovereign state ­backing them. We can’t ­compete with that. It is very difficult.”

6. Pardew’s excuse for Newcastle’s dreadful form in the second half of the 2013/14 season: “We were affected by the World Cup, there’s no doubt about that in my mind.”

5. On the psychological perils of passing the 40-point mark after Newcastle were spanked 4-0 by Southampton last season: “It’s difficult when you have 46 points on the board.”

4. On Newcastle fans being just too darned passionate for their own good: “It’s a city that loves the club so much that it hurts itself, because of that love. If there was perhaps less pressure on our results…it would probably be a better club.

3. After Newcastle put in a dismal shift and drew 1-1 against Rangers in a pre-season friendly: “The grass was a bit long for our liking.”

2. After Newcastle lost 2-0 to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in 2012: “Today was a little bit unfair on us. We couldn’t move the game to Sunday because of the Notting Hill Carnival.”

1. After losing 3-0 at home to Sunderland in the most recent North East derby: “Maybe we were a bit too hyped up.”


Or perhaps https://www.football365.com/news/alan-pardews-excuses-the-longlist, but it overlaps a fair bit

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Yeah, we've got some superb ones in there, but who else comes up with such inspiring reasons?


Ukrainian team blaming frogs for losing a world cup match 


Al Fayed blaming the removal of a Michael Jackson Statue etc

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“It is great for the public here at Sunderland to see us,” said manager Brendan Rodgers. “They must have been wondering what this team everyone is talking about are all about and now they have seen. We were wonderful."



Swansea lost the game 2-0

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Didn't Ole complain last season and made them change the seat covers at Old Trafford from red to black because his players could not see each other with the red backdrop? Taking a leaf from his old gaffer too then.

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Guest neesy111
2 hours ago, Stifler said:

Not losing a game but drawing.


Pardew: ‘They crowd cheered too hard’ after scoring what seems to be a stoppage time winner at home, to only then concede again.

Palace 3-3 game that was.

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