Theregulars

Cue 1 hour of holding on

Pardew has earned the benefit of the doubt, but I think the reason we get away with 4-4-2 is that Cabaye has the creative touch. That team looks instantly devoid of much in the way of creativity, unless it's fluid to have Remy and Gouffran as wing forwards with sissoko powering through the middle.

I hate Ashley but getting £35m for this goon was an incredible effort. Made all the sweeter by it being dalglish and Liverpool who paid it

I'm down with the apartment rental idea.

As if you haven't given me 21 Yorkie. GP supersedes the alphabet.

Alright, Garth Marenghi (dreamweaver).

I feel this point can't be emphasised strongly enough. Ps, make sure you get cash up front. Libellous. You forfeit your match ticket price when you abandoned me in Newcastle. "I'll pick you up tomorrow", he says, before a 7AM text excuse involving a grandmother. And I really wanted to hear more bellicose hubristic chat about (on the balance of interpretation) fictional conquests of women and orifice selection, so it was a doubly hurtful ditch.

Bumpetty bump! Is anyone driving up from London and up for a petrol split? It looks like I'm going to Newcastle 2 weekends in a row so can't be fucked with 2 extortionate train fares. Bear in mind, I'm a total cunt.

Pardew was blatantly taking the photo or talking to a girl off camera. Joe Kinnear driving the minibus.

I would like Brighton at home so we could stuff them.

And going on height I reckon krul is chewbacca

I think Gouffran is the iron man, bald head

Surely the joker is Coloccini?

Wrong ball

Don't think we've been that bad - just a poor refereeing decision, and two very lucky goals against. It happens.

Just 2 totally lucky as shit goals

Just not our night

Sissoko has been turboshit

That's a huge penalty

Is Santon injured?

Krul has been needlessly shaky

De Guzman is a diver

I'm alright with him going 4-5-1 but not with Shola

Like that weakling Ashley Williams?

I would reckon the other players probably have some sympathy for his situation; I think if you are a normal person you probably can simultaneously think he's a knob for cocking up his marriage but still feel bad at the fact he's evidently unhappy about it. It sucks that this is what's happening; ideally he just carries on being the Titan he has been for us. But life doesn't work that way. I also reckon the stuff in the argentine media is totally overblown. I don't think the way he's handled it has been that bad - put yourself in that exact situation, what would you do? Especially where other people leak something you want kept private.