Shak

Andy, I have a question. Do you like the show Arrested Development?

Our depth on the wings is a bit of a question mark if we're going with that system though. Jonas and Routledge is solid enough as a starting pair, but what have we got after that? Lovenkrands is usually awful when he plays on the wing. Would be nice to see Kazenga Lua Lua take a step up this year and look like someone who could be of some use to the first team, his pace alone could make him a useful option from the bench. A lot riding on us getting that lunatic Ben Arfa signed IMO.

He's an easy guy to root for, would be nice to see him make a good job of it after some of the tossers we've had in charge in recent years (has any other club ever had three bigger arseholes than Kinnear, Souness and Fat Sam manage them in the space of a few years?). I'm still unconvinced he's got what it takes, but he's earned a fair crack at it with what he did last year. I'm quite interested to see what sort of formation he's planning to use, the fact that we don't appear to be looking at any strikers at all combined with the fact that Ben Arfa seems to reckon Hughton wants to play him in a free role has me thinking he wants to go with a 4-2-3-1 like Germany and Holland used at the World Cup.

FOOTBALL CLIPS!!!!111!!! :fwap: :fwap: :fwap: :fwap:

Doubt there'll be much in this. We've already got Barton, Guthrie, Gosling and Smith as options in CM, potentially Nolan as well (though I suspect he'll be mostly used in a more advanced role). Would be nice if we could get him in and maybe ship out Smith though.

I just thought he was on the wind-up, that's quality stuff. Lampard has improved hugely since then though, to be fair to Ronaldo.

Can name 10 Chelsea players I'd rather have than Lampard, if every player had 15 long range efforts per game they'd evetually score.

Bit late for all that Dave, no?

Makes sense I suppose, he's obviously a popular figure in the dressing room. I do think that he could become a problem for us though, unfortunately. Play him in CM and he's a passenger in terms of attempting to play any sort of passing game, play him in the hole just off Carroll and we've got the least mobile strikeforce of all time. I'd be happy with him being used as an impact sub type, throw him on late when you're chasing a goal or when you want an extra man in midfield while protecting a lead. But long term I'd want rid of him sooner rather than later. Fully expect the goals to dry up this year now that we're back in the Premiership, and once you take those away he's pretty much rubbish. Hopefully I'm wrong and he keep getting the goals for us, but I just can't see it.

Baffling that people can look at Ibrahimovic and not be able to see what an immense talent he is. Think it's fair to say he doesn't do as much as he should sometimes, but there are still very few out there better than him, even when he is only half-arsed.

Shame that Ibrahimovic is such a tit. In terms of pure ability he's absolutely immense, but he's too greedy and moody on the pitch and too much of an idiot off it to have made the best of his talents. He'd probably fit in better at a club full of cunts like Man City.

Cheers Dave, gonna get that. I never thought of you as portly. You've thought about my body?

Cheers Dave, gonna get that.

Great news this, really hope we get the deal done as he'd be a massive addition to the squad. It'll be interesting to see if he's being bought to play in the hole, just off Carroll, or if he's being viewed as another option on the wings. I know he can play in a variety of positions, but does anyone actually have a real opinion on what his best position is? I've not seen him play enough to really know. Signing Ben Arfa plus another striker would be absolutely ideal IMO, might be asking a bit much.

Too hard to call for sure whether we'll be up or down IMO. We'll be right in the thick of the relegation battle with the current squad though. Certainly find it difficult to see us staying up with any degree of comfort. We're just too toothless up front I think, and you'll not go far if you can't score goals. We're hard-working and I think we'll be quite well organised though, so we'll be hard to beat. Ultimately it'll come down to those scrappy tight games against other bad teams. If we can nick wins in a few of those we'll stay up. If we don't, we won't.

Aye, there's definitely some cause for positivity. We look like we're going to try and keep the ball and play it on the deck a bit more, and with a midfield of Routledge, Jonas, Guthrie and Barton I'd be confident we could play some good stuff at times. Up front is a really big concern though. We looked positively toothless in the final third until late in the game, Nolan and Carroll as a pairing up there was painful to watch. We need another striker to be brought in or we're going to really struggle to stay up, simple as that for me. Carroll is good enough to lead the line up there, and Shola is passable as a back-up for him. But we so badly need someone with a bit of pace and movement to play off Carroll, unless we get that then it won't matter how well we keep the ball or pass it around. As it stands Lovenkrands is one of the first names on the team sheet for me, he's the only one who even comes close to fitting that description. But I'm not sure he's really good enough, we need someone else to compete with him for the place starting alongside Carroll. Agree with all of that. The problem with getting a decent striker is that is the one postion where they are overpriced. They're priced so highly because they're imperative to winning games though. You'd have hoped that the people in charge would realise this, but with the season only a week away and nobody signed it doesn't look promising. A real shame, because with some actual real quality up top beside Carroll I think we'd be a half decent side. Nolan could become a real problem for us, I fear. Play him in CM and your chances of playing good football are more or less fucked, play him up top and you'll have no movement at all in the final third. I actually reckon he'd be useful to have as a sub you can throw on late in games when you're desperate for a goal, no doubt he has a knack for getting on the end of chances. But in terms of developing ourselves into a good team he's a real hindrance, IMO.

Aye, there's definitely some cause for positivity. We look like we're going to try and keep the ball and play it on the deck a bit more, and with a midfield of Routledge, Jonas, Guthrie and Barton I'd be confident we could play some good stuff at times. Up front is a really big concern though. We looked positively toothless in the final third until late in the game, Nolan and Carroll as a pairing up there was painful to watch. We need another striker to be brought in or we're going to really struggle to stay up, simple as that for me. Carroll is good enough to lead the line up there, and Shola is passable as a back-up for him. But we so badly need someone with a bit of pace and movement to play off Carroll, unless we get that then it won't matter how well we keep the ball or pass it around. As it stands Lovenkrands is one of the first names on the team sheet for me, he's the only one who even comes close to fitting that description. But I'm not sure he's really good enough, we need someone else to compete with him for the place starting alongside Carroll.

What we really need is for Nolan and Barton to skate through Newcastle city center on roller blades with the trophy.

I'll be utterly shocked if this is anything more than a PR exercise from the club, making it look like we're willing to spend money. We'll doubtless sign some retard on deadline day for fuck all though.

If all that is true you would have to wonder what Hughton see's in him? A free transfer isn't good business if he's no better than we already have. It will be interesting to see whether Hughton has a better eye for a player than your average Joe Bloggs (BB version). ...and David Moyes. Everton clearly didn't want to let him go and he did generally seem to be in and around the first team at Goodison when fit, not bad going when you consider some of the players Everton have at their disposal. If Everton saw something in him well that's good enough for me like. He was nothing more than a sub when he was fit (unless there were other injuries). Gosling is really slow and hasn't got much ability on the ball. The two positives to his game I'll give him are that he tries hard and has a bit of a knack for getting into goalscoring positions. Maybe managers see something else in him that we don't but I'd be surprised if he ended up amounting to much. I couldn't care less that he's gone in a footballing sense but the way he's done it rankles a bit. Instantly makes him an upgrade on most of our midfielders tbh. Sounds like Kevin Nolan tbh. As good a signing as we can expect to be making with the current owners though, sadly. Best of luck to the lad if he does sign.

That's poor Jon, even for you.

It wouldn't be any real surprise. Van der Vaart, Van Persie and Robben have always struck me as being absolutely massive dickheads.

They apparently paid 9m euros for him last summer. He goes and has a great season and we apparently proceed to offer them significantly less than they paid a year ago. Seems like the kind of "Surely they won't accept this... PHEW!!" offer our lot would throw in alright.