ikri

The truly terrifying thing there isn't just how bad Shelvey & Hendrick are but how they're apparently both worse midfielders than Joelinton, who I'm not convinced is even a footballer.

Brilliant from Almiron. Fuck Jeff Hendrick. Fuck Jonjo Shelvey. Useless cunts who should be nowhere near the team.

Dismal performance after a decent start

Well fuck me sideways. A comfortable win where we actually looked like the better team.

Has Shelvey managed to perform more fouls than successful passes so far?

Want to bet he actually meant I can bring you in a pile of letters (from when) I signed (that I was reading) only yesterday (whilst crying into a steak bake). People wishing me good luck (in my next job, away from Newcastle).

I'd be happy with Martinez' grandmother if it meant getting rid of Bruce

They don't have a 40-year old chain smoker in midfield though. I assume that's Shelvey's excuse for his abysmal movement.

Absolutely dreadful, again. To no one's surprise.

Think the argument that Charnley has sold Ashley is going to be that Bruce is great at managing defence but we need an offensive coach. Another I suppose without any of us seeing the ins and outs of the training ground could be that Clemence is still not yet fully over the death of his father and that an extra assistant is therefore needed to share the workload. Regardless it was always ridiculous that any manager was only allowed two coaches - it will be why the majority of the first ten candidates approached turned us down last time. Bruce is an incredibly offensive coach. Possibly not in the same way that they'd want though.

Well that was as dreadful as expected. Who'd have guessed that playing 2 deep-lying midfielders, 1 winger & 3 forwards wouldn't help in getting the ball up the pitch and would result in Arsenal continually getting the time and space to do whatever they wanted with the ball. It's like the pile of shite managing us believes that if you play 3 forwards they'll magically get the ball all on their own.

Crazy starting lineup. Is he picking teams by throwing darts at a list of players?

When Bruce's luck runs out, it really runs out. Dreadful performance on & off the pitch. That starting XI should have been a sackable offence on its own.

Turns out he's shit. Who knew?

They've not even manage to reach the office to have a bad day yet, the entire team is stuck trying to start the car whilst some fat fuck neighbour who knows a bit about motors casually rips the engine apart.

He clearly moves his hand to the ball, it's a penalty

That starting XI is disgusting

Just hasn't been in the team enough to be destroyed by Bruce yet. Give it time & he'll be as bad as anyone.

Pretty dreadful as expected. Bruce will see it as a victory though as we didn't get massacred.

If you're going to do Star Trek, you may as well do the whole lot Star Trek: The Lack of Motion Midfield Star Trek II: The Wrath of Fans Star Trek III: The Search for Goals Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home After yet Another Shitty Performance Star Trek V: The Quarter-Final Frontier Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Opposition Half Star Trek VII: Generations of this Shite

(Tactics from) 2001: A Cabbage Oddity

The old Pardew special, hoy strikers on and remove all shape and players that might be able to find them. The team had shape before the subs?

Absolutely disgraceful performance. If Bruce has lost the dressing room, he needs to be sacked immediately because these performances are only going to get worse. If Bruce hasn't lost the dressing room, he needs to be sacked immediately because these last few performances have been a disgrace to football.

Utterly abysmal so far

Commentators drive me mad about him - Bruce wants to play expansive, attacking football. Really? What's he actually doing to achieve that? I'd quite like to fuck Kate Beckinsale and I feel that by not making any attempt to actually realise that dream I'll still probably have more chance than Bruce will have with us playing anything other than turgid rubbish each week.