Ronaldo

Been done.

Mitro's on fire.

We've got our best striker and attacking midfielder on the bench.

This is ridiculous.

Very good play by Hayden to pick him out.

I'm guessing he's slightly more likely to take offence if you keep mentioning him personally, mind.

Doesn't really stop him from being complete as an attacking player, mind.

It was an absolute belter, like.

Colback, too.

Did your Merc come with optional crack cocaine? Closer to Scholes than Beckford to Cole... I was 22 and wasted after travelling back up from our relegation game against Villa but as far as I can remember I never insinuated he was near even Division 1 Cole's level, like. Either way, I think we can all agree Owen, as effective as was in a few games under Keegan was nowhere near Scholes. Scholes was the complete attacking midfielder.

Did your Merc come with optional crack cocaine?

I don't believe it for a second. 2 years down the road Allardyce was ready to offer him plus money for (a surplus) Bellamy. Rafa was like 'yeah, no thanks'.

Our best DM could start. Gotta love STM's cracking insight.

State of those seats, man.

I think Colback's been worse than ever in his last 15 games or so, like.

Takes the attention away from the statue.

Shep's trimmed down.

God bless the kid, man. No wonder Rafa loves him.

I have only seen snatches of him in action, but he doesn't look like a poacher type like Cisse, more like a potential Bellamy without quite the electric pace. But it looks like he can finish when he gets the chance though, Bellamy relied more on the sheer power from his left foot. What?

He's won the Champions League, La Liga etc. I doubt us going 1-0 up against Derby has him losing his shit, like.

It's a division totally bereft of any genuine quality, like - on the pitch or in the dugout. Tough league to get out of my left nut.

Yorkie's really bad for that.

"Rafa, it's Danny Higginbotham..." - "Que?"