Ronaldo

A bit like your tedious praise of your namesake.

Anita's so small he'd look cute beating an old woman to death.

Stick some wings in there as well man. 6 of them, 6 wings? Fairy.

Cisse by default.

Looks much better this season.

A left back would be nice but we need someone to partner and bring on Mbemba or we'll ruin him.

He's the standout ugly girl at the dance. Apart from the back 5.

Austin has proved he will score goals. I'm very glad we signed Mitrovic but it shouldn't have been a 'one or the other' scenario.

We should've bought them both, tbh. We'd be mid-table if we had instead of the relegation zone.

You're all too fucking slow.

Villa.

Lampard did it at least once.

Yeah best player on the pitch after Gini. Sublime.

First player to score 4 PL goals for us from open play in a game. Well done.

Yeah, I get that. He floats forward.

Nah, he signed a few years after Pav. The pair of them interchanged during 93-94. Ended up as a bouncer in Durham didn't he? Yep. Met him more than once. Top guy.

He's got a pet rabbit, enough said?

Nah, he signed a few years after Pav. The pair of them interchanged during 93-94.

Hooper was absolutely terrible in almost every way. The only thing he could do was kick the ball a long way. Nah. Brilliant on the doors.

Hooper was awesome, man.

That's two of my fantasy midfield with hattricks this weekend.

GET THE FUCKING FUCK IN.

Well, Sissoko is.

GET IN!!!!!!!!!!