Ronaldo

Perez isn't that quick, mind. Certainly not on the same scale as Aarons and Sissoko.

Thank fuck the PL is back. Brilliant game.

Mourinho looks angry and vengeful.

Max Gradel could play for Chelsea? Right.

I think virtually all managers dislike the format of the Europa League. I can't blame them too much.

That's fairly similar to a story I once heard about him at the golf club. Bloke needs to sort his attitude out or his Mrs will be off cheating again.

Harper's well known for taking himself waaay too seriously. The elbow drop notwithstanding.

What I think he's trying to articulate that Koeman has injured himself and won't make it up here.

Cuntenkrands' goals didn't save us from relegation twice.

Offcisse? That's bloody useless.

Barton 'cares' because faux intensity is the only thing he has in his locker to resemble a PL midfielder. He's as weak as cardboard and about as athletic as a table and 4 chairs. Shit player, no thanks.

The average age of our 3 favoured CBs is 31.

Did this really happen? I doubt it considering Ryder gave him at least an 8 for his performance against Chelsea.

Aye mate, you're the only one with more than half a brain, McClaren and everyone else is clueless. Well, I stand by my opinion. It's based on 3 years of poor performances. I hope I'm wrong. I'm not, but we'll see.

I think not. Even Mick knows the score, and he's been a pretty vocal supporter of Colo on here.

I don't think my opinion is any different to anyone else's with half a brain.

I'd rather re-sign Warren than Joey.

6 quarter finals in 13 major tournaments. Hardly amazing. And based on our record since 1966, it's not underachieving but probably slightly above par. Fact is other than 1966 England have been an alsoran at international level. God knows what the reasons for that are, but that's the facts of it. Nobody said it was amazing, man. Average isn't accurate.

Yanga's probably the only CB on earth Messi could take in a fight.

I'm not sure you could sensibly define us as average when you look at the number of QFs we've made in the last 25 years. Underachieving, certainly.

It's exactly this. We've had an absolute mountain of shit at CB going back to when Woodgate left. Since our current crop of favoured CBs made their debuts for us it's no coincidence there's never been any serious bids for any one of them, which is the only reason they're still here. An average 23-year-old defender frankly represents a very good option in our context.

He's 23. He's already being written off for the future despite him, as you say, already being a reasonable defender.

Rolando's an extremely talented player and already by far our best winger and Carroll scored 30 goals in the year before we sold him. Silly examples.

You're easier to amuse than the average viewer of Mrs Brown's Boys, Disco.