Ronaldo

Good job we're blatantly going to finish 12th-14th, then.

The pair of them just make up what they don't know. Surprised you could be bothered going to that, Andy.

He couldn't write his name well.

Looking forward to seeing that lot 'police themselves' under those circumstances, like.

Not so sure about the second one. We could literally fail to string 2 passes together all game and Cisse would still find a way to get on the scoresheet somehow.

You're kidding aren't you? What a dirty old bastard.

I'm curious as to why Mick was in the same place as Cabella and Sissoko on a night out, like.

Had an image there of Carver being quite an articulate, incisive man in his youth before finding booze and irreparably damaging his cognitive ability.

Fucks sake man, that's embarrassing. I'm slightly drunk, but even I can't find a positive in taking the written press through tactical analysis and blathering on about it not being any use of your players aren't strong enough. I just wish this season was literally over instead of just metaphorically. Not much of a metaphor, like.

And with no measurable positive consequences.

He can play CB in the same way he claims to be able to play FB or CM.

The right thing is selling our best players and keeping the money for himself?

About that, yeah. Dalglish or Gullit era.

I remember him beating the opposition's physio in a race across the pitch. Surreal sight.

I did. The Andy Williams concert. It wasn't that funny, mind.

Ridiculous views.

I wish you'd stop trying to be witty.

Carroll's a decent lad who's acted like a cunt at times.

Funny you say that. Every single time I see an old lady knocked over or in some way intimidated by youths on Crimewatch it genuinely reminds me of Colo.

Also the same here in the UK tbh, I've lived in rough parts of London and Birmingham and there's plenty of people knocking about with that kind of 'swag' I'm pleased to report with the utmost certainty that none of the chavs I've seen in Newcastle or Manchester wear rainbows on their shoes or carry handbags, like.

Clueless or not he's unshakeably pliable and utterly complicit. Someone to make the day-to-day decisions that will see his salary rise as Ashley's financial targets for the club business are satisfied.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH I just don't understand how people can be as horrifically misinformed as this in 2015.

This, basically. Total fucking idiot.

Hope someone reminds John Carver he said he didn't need any new players the second he mentions injuries.