Ronaldo

Sake. I made that comparison in January.

Repugnant.

He's far better than Jagielka, Shawcross. Ridiculous to keep ignoring him.

Carver's PR has actually been worse than I anticipated, which I think constitutes a minor miracle.

Terry is England's best CB by a mile. Criminal that he isn't starting for (and captaining) us with Cahill.

Not a chance. There's only one CB I'd legitimately want starting for NUFC ffs.

Lacking at least 3 top class defenders. Good squad, though.

There's nothing remotely great about him. He's a good PL striker, no more.

Bono. What an absolute fucking anal bead.

I doubt it. Look at the state of our 3rd choice keeper. I don't even want to imagine what our 5th choice CB looks like given how crap the others are, Dummett excepted.

What a tool.

And they also had a top keeper who although not vocal had experience, and Nobby Solano. Sibierski was also at the very least an out ball.

Working with better outfield players/keepers/general coaches and under pressure to perform in a highly scrutinized pressure environment sounds far more conducive to his form than our mess of a club, I guess.

Relying on 'Aye-Ron' Mike, now. Quality.

Well you do now. I used a long word, get the fuck over it.

Dyer, Parker, Emre and Milner in midfield and Martins' pegging-back pace up top is about as easy as it ever gets for an NUFC back 4, mind.

Mole and AlanSkärare, all goalkeeping coaches seem to have had something between utterly shit and largely underwhelming careers. I understand the need for them at youth/reserve level but at 26 with the career he's had, Krul should've have forgotten more than Woodman ever knew. I agree overall that Woodman's a joke, though. Ironically the bloke likes to hunt in his spare time, so in additional to coaching defenceless animals.....

Should an international goalkeeper need a specialised coach to do the basics?

His poor kicking is catching? Soon every 'keeper in the PL will have it. This is [the] type of post that makes me wish the Internet was never invented. Just monstrous levels of vocabulary abuse. Nice edit. You're wrong, of course.

I can't be bothered. It was a reckless, dangerous, two-footed coward's tackle from someone who tends to do that type of thing when outdone physically. Easily a red.

On the grounds that it was a yellow at the worst, never a red card ever. You make it sound like it was barely a yellow. It was a coward's tackle, two-footed that took all of the man and none of the ball. Kind of tackle that had Ben Arfa out for over a year.

Biggest arsehole in the history of N-O.

He absolutely is. His pragmatic style and abrasive, unassuming personality causes him to be underrated, though.

Only Newcastle United under Mike Ashley could replace Shola Ameobi with someone worse.

You wanna tell us why John Carver shouldn't be appointed head coach or are you finished stating the bleeding obvious, Mick?