Consortium of one

RIDONKULOUS

/cue Dos Equis music /voice over as Kinnear lounges on holiday When he says "cunt" women smile fondly at him... Sir Alex has him on speed dial... His press conferences are enlightening experiences... His working holidays are more productive than any DOF's regular work week... ...and way more fun... He is... the most interesting man in the world.

From afar, I see Shearer trying to manufacture team spirit when he saw how fragmented the squad had become. Maybe I'm making shite up but I believe he planted the seeds of team spirit that, from training camp, continued to grow during the promotion season. As to Mr. Joe Fucking Kinnear, if he really rubbished signing Douglas against everyone else's wishes why are they still here? I don't know how anyone could stand for that, even that fat fucking asshole, Mike Ashley. Douglas ticks all the boxes, especially on a free. I mean, seriously, Douglas doesn't even have a last name that Kinnear can screw up.

Bringing in Kinnear to mediate a dispute is like bringing in a donkey to dust a china shop. Shit's gonna get broken.

Can't believe that Derek can emerge from this a sympathetic figure but, there you go. Now the BBC website is saying JFK will not directly scout players nor negotiate contracts and that he'll just be a go between the first team and Ashley. He'll be like that annoying little yapper of a dog who lays on the couch and growls at everyone who walks into the room. My guess is that Kinnear was desperate to get back into football and Ashley is paying him a pittance. He's using Kinnear as his sledge hammer to eliminate Derek, with whom he's become bored, and hopefully Pardew, who was never worth an 8 year contract. It might be, in a Machiavellian way, the right move but Ashley's machinations always blow up in his face, much like Hyacinth in "Keeping up Appearances"

Fathead Mike probably had stars in his eyes while JFK was telling how he talks to Sir Alex and Wenger all the time. He probably jizzed his pants when JFK told him he had a hundred agents at his fingertips. And fathead Mike was probably over the moon when JFK dropped names like Edison Cababi, Leo Messy and Gonzo Iguana.

This is what I wake up to? Joe f******* Kinnear is our DOF? Shouldn't he be out digging boreholes somewhere in the football wilderness? How soon is it before he alienates every player with even a modicum of talent? How soon til we here Joe f****** Kinnear proclaim, "If I'm going to finish 16th I'd rather do it with English lads rather than French lads!"? What a complete and total nightmare.

Make 3-4 purchases to shore up the squad Get into Europa League Win that in 2015 and get a berth in the CL Quite simple, really. eheh

Gus Poyet That is all.

I think there are three key player questions that first have to be answered: 1) is Colo gone and who will replace him? 2) can HBA stay healthy? 3) Which Tiote is the real Tiote? Colo is important because he is the foundation of the defense. The other two are important because, IMO, both, if they play at a high level will dictate the formation that you will use. And the formation that is used will say a lot about how all the other players are used, if they can used and, if not, who can be brought in to replace them.

Beat QPR and we're safe.

I feel bad for him. He's a useful squad player if used correctly. He may never come back from this.

Me too, but I know what people mean about a player who could make more instant impact and be more physical etc. I think Anita may still come good though, at the end of the day he's a classy player. You've pretty much described Sissoko there yet three months down the line, he looks utterly ordinary. Pardew hasn't got the best out of a single player this season so I don't know why Anita should be any different, only he also has the excuse, unlike most, of never having played in this country before. Last thing we should be doing is criticizing individuals under this nugget, especially central midfielders, brought in under false pretences, told they'll play a passing game then when they get here told to chip it into Cisse and cross their fingers. This. Our central midfielders probably have sore necks watching Krul's kicks sail over their heads as well.

I said it in the other thread but our only successful set pieces in the last two years have been the direct shots at goal which have nothing to do with Pardew's input. It's just a case of Ryan Taylor or Cabaye striking the ball well. You see more games than me. I do remember two plays from last year. One where Cisse (?) got himself on the end of the wall and than as Cabaye struck the ball he swung like a gate and the ball found the net. The other was a direct free kick just outside the box. The wall was set up guarding the near post and the keeper was near the far post. Ryan rolled the ball to the near post side of the wall and some stuck it just inside the near post. At least that's how I remember it I also remember him throwing a short option out there on corners occasionally. The point being, even if they don't result in a goal, you always give the defense something to think about, you always makew them wonder if there is something that they are missing. There has been none of that this year.

First off, the squad wasn't strengthened significantly in the summer. I get the feeling that the club expected more from our reserves like Tav, Vukcic, Sammy, Ferguson. When these players made little or zero impact it lefts Pardew shorthanded before the January window. That was a club wide failure, IMO, and set the club back. What effect that has had on the team and Pardew is hard to gauge but I would expect a good manager to take the January transfers and move the club forward. Pardew hasn't. In fact this year's Pardew doesn't look anything like last years Pardew and these areas stand out out: 1) Team spirit. There is none. Was last year's success a result of a wonderful team spirit or was the wonderful team spirit a result of last year's success? I think it is the former. This year, team spirit was hurt first by the lack of signings and then by Pardew's decision to play much more conservatively. I also think Pardew failed to find a way to get Demba Ba and Cisse to play together effectively. Admittedly, here in the states, I don't get to see every game but what I did see always looked disjointed. And the way they were used together either Ba or Cisse was going to be unhappy and/or unproductive and that hurt morale a bit more. The result of poor morale or team spirit is a club that waits for the game to come to them too often as opposed to going out and taking charge of the game. The club looks indecisive and passive as a result. 2) Tactics. My first problem is Tim Krul. Why in God's name is he hoofing the ball up time after time? With Santon, Debuchy and Colo, he has options to throw to and build the attack from the back. Instead, a talented midfield has watched the ball fly over their heads to the heads of the opponent's back line all too often. Secondly, as above, he never was able to get Ba and Cisse working together. Finally, I've never got the feeling that Pardew has ever looked at his squad, decided waht his strengths and weaknesses are, devised a way he wanted to play and stuck with it. Surely after the January window he could see that central midfiled was strength. A midfield three composed of Cabaye, Tiote and Sissoko (with Anita in reserve) should have been the starting point. With the back four and Cisse up top Pardew should have been able to fill in two players and devise a schemme that played to our strengths. Instead we got what appeared to be square pegs trying to fit into round holes. 3) Set pieces. Out of everything, this is probably my biggest question mark. It stands out symbolically as the difference between last year's Pardew and this year's. Last year, I never knew what to expect. He'd introduce little quirks or wrinkles into free kicks and corners that worked. It kept the opponents on their back foot and gave the players confidence. I've not seen any of that this year. Just like Krul's distribution this year, it's dull, unimaginitive and easy to defend. I really believe someone has stolen our Alan Pardew. He is clearly not the same manager we had last year. He's managed with little confidence, played too conservatively and that in turn has poisoned the squad. Are the players playing poorly? Absolutely. But I think because it is because they are playing within an almost non existent framework. If a manager's job is to put his players in a position to succeed, Pardew has failed. Maybe the first half, he gets a pass. But after January, he's not only failed...he's failed miserably.

I would like to see what Roberto Martinez does with more talent.

Elliot's style of kicking is much more of a weapon than Krul's. He hits long line drives that are on target. Krul's kicks have a lot of back spin that makes them hang in the air higher which allows the opponent's back line to have the time to come forward and steal the header.

I've been critical of him this season. But there were mitigating circumstances. I get the feeling that the summer spending was light because the club thought some of the younger players would be able to step up and fill some gaps. They couldn't. As a result of that, Pardew had a very short squad to deal with the season and the Euro Cup. Injuries haven't helped, either. He responded to the lack of depth by trying to play longball and grind out some wins. While watching the game yesterday the announcer stated that Newcastle had lost 5 of the 8 Sunday games that followed Thursday Euro Cup games. That is a telling statistic. FWIW, had we signed players in the summer that are comparable to the players we signed in January I believe we'd be in much better shape that we are now. That was a club wide failure, IMO, and it was made worse by Pardew's decision to play very condervatively and negatively. Also, I didn't see Eliot lumping the ball up. I think he did a fantastic job of targeting long passes. He looked a real weapon offensively.

I think finishing with 52 points is probably the best we could hope for but I think that would only be good for 8th unless Liverpool begins to tank it.

I think he's lost his nerve. As a result he's become ultra conservative. The reality is that what the club has done in this window should have been done in the summer. In all fairness to Pardew, had the club been this aggressive in aquiring players this past summer, he may have continued on as the manager he was last year: a little more bolder, a little more innovative. Instead, I see a manager who has been backed into a corner by a thin squad and I honestly don't know if he can find his way out. He certainly deserves the chance to try and I'd give him the rest of the season to do so. However, if he continues with this conservative hoof-ball approach...he'll have to go.

If Colo and the club knew of this situation before he signed his extension last March then I can't fault the club for taking such a hard stance. When you get paid that kind of money you have to live up to obligations as well.

I could always start raising money again to mount a takeover.

the main expectation i had was to continue playing to our strengths, that went by the by. And what are our strengths? Boreholes

I wonder what Shefki Kuqi is doing these days...

paulwoods1 tweeting that a Russian billionare will by the club, sign Pep Guardiola as manager and provide him with a massive transfer kitty.