Pilko

No, that's his standard game if we're honest. He does all that anyway, every single match.

Fairly close range See Dave Nugent's goal for England, that's probably what I'd say is "smashed in from fairly close range".

Gonna predict that it'll be Abeid and Ayoze who make way for Sissoko and Colback at the weekend. Gouffran posted another 'Lovenkrands display' where he ran around a bit and provided the sum total of absolute bugger all to the efforts of attacking and defending. Cabella really is the new Ben Arfa anarl, was just starting to show some promise after he was dropped the first time (rightly so too) and then he's dropped again

Fucking fat waste of space.

Pardew will proclaim them as staying up, like he did after that dismal draw away at Reading.

Abeid is better than Tiote by several country miles.

:lol: superb shout.

Tiote is about as close to being a Premier League standard midfielder as I am to flying to the moon in a fucking rocket.

Most Sunday morning keepers would save that. I fucking despise Pardew, Elliot and Gouffran.

Dowd.

Man U Liverpool/Leicester draw Burnley Swansea Palace WHU/WBA draw £1 at 168/1 Anytime scorers acca James Wilson Morgan Amalfitano Raheem Sterling Charlie Austin £1 at 172/1

Narrow doorway on the Turf Moor gantry I heard.

Gouffran ahead of Cabella, man. What a fucking waste of oxygen Pardew is.

9/5 is good value IMO, will see the teams first before I decide how much to invest like.

Didn't watch any of it but having seen the team I had a feeling we'd be up against a shit West Ham side and therefore make life difficult for ourselves by not taking the initiative. 6 wins in a row though, don't want to be too greedy. Us fickle lot need humbling with a nice steady run of defeats before a flukey win in mid-January sets the world straight once again.

Who'd have thought that the return of Pardew's useless bumboys Chieky and Yoan would result in tediousness of an even grander scale?

Cos when I'm Andre Ayew

Pardew's first game was Liverpool on 6th Dec(?) and Carroll's last appearance for us was Spurs away on the 28th Dec(?) so the answer is 4, 5, maybe 6 times. Those dates aren't exactly right but they're thereabouts.

GW13 West Brom 0-2 Arsenal Burnley 1-0 Aston Villa Liverpool 2-1 Stoke Man Utd 1-0 Hull QPR 0-0 Leicester Swansea 1-1 Crystal Palace West Ham 1-2 Newcastle Sunderland 0-3 Chelsea Southampton 1-3 Man City Spurs 2-2 Everton GW14 Burnley 1-1 Newcastle Leicester 1-1 Liverpool Man Utd 2-1 Stoke Swansea 2-0 QPR Crystal Palace 1-0 Aston Villa West Brom 0-0 West Ham Arsenal 1-1 Southampton Chelsea 3-1 Spurs Everton 2-1 Hull Sunderland 1-1 Man City

with Alex Ferguson playing the Sugar role. I'd watch it.

Pelé ‏@Pele 3m3 minutes ago Pele is the king of the football field. To be king of the kitchen, use Crestfield Wax Paper

That's the second time in a fortnight Clive has screamed the wrong name when a goal has gone in. "ROOOOONEY!" as Oxlade-Chamberlain scored the opener against Scotland and now "DEMBELEEEE!" as Stambouli crashes in the rebound, fucking tit.

Matt Smith unable to fathom what could be gained from the orchestrated marketing ploy of the pitch invaders. Err... potential media coverage, publicity, increased sales? That sort of thing, Matt.

All the stewards laughing in that photo mint.

Pitch invasions in general are quite naff, I'm just enjoying Clive's reaction. It's mint, he's genuinely really fucked off and I'm loving every second of it.