Pilko

Seems loads of people uncaptained Haaland this week, certainly in the leagues I'm in anyway. Glad I stuck with him. Reckon I'm on for 76-78pts after bonuses are allocated from that last game, which on looking at those around me in the work league seems to be a good score for this week. A lot of 55-65 scores.

I'd say the way Haaland didn't go for the hat trick was more sumptuously selfless but each to their own.

Aye he'll prove he's a top player when he manages to go past Paul Dummett for sure.

Hojlund looks like an absolute load of nowt.

Can't wait to hear Gary Neville cry-arsing about that decision for the next two hours.

Man U conceding a soft pen at Old Trafford? My heart fucking bleeds.

If you want something to laugh at it should be your ridiculous thick manager and his complete lack of a neck.

Good finish by Calvert-Lewin.

Pickford thinks he's Roy Keane standing over Kudus there screaming at him to get up. Was hoping he'd get up and deck the cunt.

I knew Uncle Neil wouldn't be away for long. He'll get QPR out of the mire nae bother.

Best player for us today I thought.

Hwang fast becoming one of those bang average players who'll have a "Vs Newcastle" career highlight reel that makes him look like Pele.

Bruno. Please stop trying to win fucking fouls and play the simple pass for fucks sake.

Shirt pulls must be allowed in the laws of the game then, never see fouls given for them anymore.

No idea why he watched 20 mins of Wolves pressure and our lads out on their feet, only to make a sub once we inevitably concede. The decision to blow the transfer budget on two full backs who he won't trust to see any real action is looking stupider every week, too. Not saying that was entirely on Howe but he will have had a say in it.

Needs a punch in the face, might put him off punching the fucking ball all the time. Easy catch and he elects to punch. Shite.

For fucks sake man. That was so obviously going to happen and we don't make a change. Pope is fucking crap. Why punch that easy catch?

Couldn't wait to blow the whistle and give the card there the fucking bald nonce.

I'd get Willock on here, give us some impetus in midfield.

Trippier taking Halloween a bit too seriously with an absolute horror show.

That's a joke, he's pulling Burn's shirt. Judging by Dortmund and there trying to undress your opponent is perfectly legal nowadays?

Boly's foul on Dubravka not given, the straight red for Yedlin when there was a man on the cover, Perez getting elbowed in the face in the box and play waved on...

I've seen softer ones awarded against us before enough times tbf.

Must be tired judging by that absolute dumpster fire of a first half he's just posted. Livramento needs to play Wednesday without a doubt.