Pilko

Maguire halfway to the ground before he's even touched, fat headed cheat. Great refereeing.

Scored now as well.

Let's have a nice Fulham win to get proceedings off to a great start ey?

What an absolute bunch of Peter Ian Stakers the Palace lot are. £65m not enough Walk away and go get someone else now, this is becoming boring and he's not worth the added time or investment.

Premier League Winners: Man City Runners Up: Arsenal 3rd-6th: Newcastle, Chelsea, Tottenham, Liverpool Relegation: Southampton, Brentford, Leicester Overachievers: Ipswich, Bournemouth, Wolves Underperformers: West Ham, Palace, Man U Top Goal Scorer: Haaland Break Out Year: Trey Nyoni, Rodrigo Munoz, Alex Scott, Emile Smith Rowe, Ian Maatsen Season to Forget: Niklas Fullkrug, Joshua Zirkzee, Dominic Solanke, Tosin Adarabioyo PFA Player of the Year: Rodri PFA Young Player of the Year: Foden Manager of the Year: Kieran McKenna First manager to quit/be sacked: Russell Martin Championship Winners: Burnley Runners Up: Leeds Play-Offs: Boro, Luton, QPR, Stoke Relegation: Oxford Utd, Cardiff, Bristol City Newcastle United Where will we finish?: 3rd Top Goalscorer: Isak (22) Top Assister: Gordon (12) Season to forget: Trippier Will Howe be manager at the end of the season?: Yes Domestic League One Promotion: Birmingham, Bolton, Lincoln League One Relegation: Bristol Rovers, Northampton, Cambridge, Crawley League Two Promotion: MK Dons, Carlisle, Gillingham, Doncaster League Two Relegation: Morecambe, Harrogate National League Promotion: Barnet, Gateshead FA Cup: Man City League Cup: Spurs EFL Trophy: Charlton Europe La Liga winner: Real Madrid Serie A winner: Juve Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich European Competitions Champions League winner: Real Madrid Europa League winner: Real Sociedad Conference League Winner: Chelsea General World Player of the Year: Vinicius Jr World Young player: Pedri

Looks like one of those blouses Noel Edmonds used to wear when he presented Deal or No Deal.

Tampon shortage klaxon in 5, 4.....

Find it hard to say we should stop the bidding at X price because we don't know what the alternative is or how that impacts any other signings. Just hope we set ourselves/Palace a deadline to either agree the fee or not and then move swiftly onto other targets if need be, as not getting a CB in would be a bad result.

Police attended the crime scene to find that several hundred coathangers had been stolen but thankfully no Sunderland shirts were missing.

"Newcastle's 0-0 loss against Arsenal" - that is a tricky one.

Another great advert, love the inclusion of so many past and current players and great nods to the north east. Grinned like a divvy all the way through watching it. Kit is nice too, a simpler take on the original and I hope it gets more than the obligatory two away outings this year.

Parker's hair he looks like he's gone to a fancy dress party as Thomas Frank.

Personally I won't believe a single scrap of this unofficial news until Marc Walton or Michael Chopra are on twitter telling us that the players have been told Guehi is signing.

Seabiscuit wouldn't have won American Horse of the Year 1938 for filth, so...

On the plus side, if you've got a bird round with the energy of Miggy she'd be able to ride you like you were Seabiscuit all weekend long.

Rooney seemed to spend all summer pissing about doing punditry and on podcasts etc as well, hardly seemed like he was focused on the job in hand. Obviously it's just one game but given his record at Birmingham I don't understand why you'd give him another job at the same level, other than because he was a big name as a player. Looking at a Plymouth forum it seems like this is near to their strongest side and the formation and style Rooney played with all pre-season and they've been scuttled by a side tipped to be also-rans at best. Hardly sticking my neck out by saying I don't think it'll end well.

The more I think about Madueke the more it makes sense. Young, English, PL experience, pacey and clear talent that needs channelled and coached (classic Eddie buy). Has shown some good flashes at Chelsea but with their mental recruitment policy it feels like he's been in and out the side and a wide player like him probably needs a run of games and the commitment that he will get minutes so he doesn't try too hard. I'd be really excited if we got him in, think he'd be brilliant for us.

He might be on £100K a week if he successfully hits all of his performance bonus criteria.

If it attracts the same kind of clientele as the old Stack did, I'll not be going anywhere near it when it's busy. Especially at £6 a pint in a plastic glass.

He'll spend the whole fight backing off, probably.

He was crap for large parts of last season but he played nearly every minute through knocks and injuries because there was literally nobody else, so I can see why he'd be frustrated with the criticism to a degree. It is easy to forget the season we finished 4th that he was excellent and whenever he dropped out of the side we looked much worse for it. 8 goals in all comps last season wasn't a bad return either for someone who's apparently a shite, donkey work midfielder. Said it loads of times but when he reverts to his rightful position as squad player and substitute & is playing without injury he'll look a lot better for it. He's no world beater but he can still be a very useful contributor for us.

Nice move for him, back on the South Coast and at his first club. Imagine his leadership and knowledge of that division will come in handy for a newly-promoted side looking to consolidate, although he won't have the legs for Saturday-Tuesday-Saturday anymore so probably plays a squad role. Hope he does well there.

Excellent, hopefully he can feature in the Sela Cup games.