Neil

Or at least think of the Stewart's.

Is genuinely the funniest thing I've read on here in weeks. Cheers Stif.

What am I actually reading?

Anderson, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

This shit is getting quoted.

wat

Pleased with our kits this year. Shame Naismith seems to constantly be in the photo shoots.

Quite a few Mackems in Bishop Auckland isn't there? County Durham is all Sunlun marra. Massive lads fans etc. "Only til 1992 marra before the skyboys changed allegiance. Seen a mag wearing his shirt in Shildon the other day. Nearly crashed me robin reliant." I have Shildon Mags as relatives. Impossible marra, Shildon is a Sulun stronghold. 95% red & white. FTM. I also have Bishop Auckland mackems as relatives. Ouch. Just having to reside in Bishop Auckland is bad enough. Unlucky.

Reading all these pages and "brool story co"-ing everyone in my mind. You all know your teams will be completely different within 4 weeks.

Such an underwhelming career after early promise. Typical Brazilian.

Founded by Super Hans, I think.

Distinct difference between Rodwell and Henderson. Rodwell has bags more natural talent. Technically very sound, was the epitome of a prospect who would go on to marshal England's midfield for many years to come. Then injuries struck, and his attitude was exposed. Henderson never really impressed at all at Sunderland and I think everyone pissed themselves when Liverpool paid that much. But while I hardly think he's owt special now, it's clear how much he's working to improve and is now a regular in a title-chasing side. Rodwell has massively regressed, Henderson has massively progressed. I personally can't see Rodwell achieving his original potential though I'd like to see him work hard and get somewhere near it.

In. Regardless of whether I'm playing or "managing" again. But I agree with James, might be best to give a wee bit more notice to let as many as possible get involved.

People forget we had a considerable surplus last year thanks to the Fellaini sale. I was fully expecting the profit to disappear into a black hole like it usually does, mind.

Not often but it was something he tried due to our full backs/wing backs being arguably the best players in our squad. I've found that this rough sort of formation actually happens during games more often than you might think. The deepest lying midfielder will often be so deep that he's essentially part of 3, meaning the 2 CBs can split and in turn the 2 full backs can push on.

So good they named it twice?

What's the point? They've had their whole side ripped apart. And without those players and the manager who was presiding over their 'project', they're not going to go out and attract immediate top quality players.

Absolutely convinced that if you looked through Lampard's catalogue of goals, you would find goals of that calibre in there. Of course you would. Lampard scored a long list of sensational strikes, remember in particular one he kindly plonked in the top corner at Goodison after being given it from a throw-in. Gerrard however has the Captain Liverpool romanticism surrounding him which falsely puts him above Lampard. It's pathetic.

Just caught up on all this. Utterly staggering effort and reassuring to know humanity is capable of such kindness. RIP.

Real life Stifler is real.

Status above sense. It sort of worked out okay when they got rid of Ozil for Bale tbf. Di Maria offers more to them than Ozil did though IMO.

Status above sense.

Stop buying players.

You've had a great day, but you're now in an angry mood because your team lost a pre-season friendly? Sake.

Not sure I can think of anyone - maybe only Messi - who, in my lifetime, can keep the ball better than Iniesta. The way he keeps possession and controls it immaculately in the tightest of spaces borders on the absurd.