Jill

All I know is that everyone seems to be saying it's my fault. On the bright side, that makes you the exact opposite of Pardew. Never his fault, always yours.

That miss.

Lovely Wolfsburg goal there.

Derby, Boro, Wigan, Preston

This is the reward for the fans who have to endure a 4am bonking by Stoke. It's not much to ask Interesting definition of reward.. but I'll let you have this one since it's away from home so at least I don't have to leave the house.

I'm more than happy to help but I don't have the first clue about organising a football tournament. One of the regular reds v blues/NOFC people would probably be best as the Apprentice-style Project Manager.

I absolutely hate it when we're in this kick-off slot.

Voted win.

Pretty pleased with my start. GW2: Aston Villa 1-1 Newcastle Chelsea 2-0 Leicester Crystal Palace 0-0 West Ham Southampton 0-1 West Brom Swansea 2-1 Burnley Everton 1-2 Arsenal Hull 2-2 Stoke Tottenham 1-0 QPR Sunderland 1-2 Man Utd Man City 2-1 Liverpool

Matchday

Did someone say there was a trophy place down the Bigg Market? I work round there so could get a quote if so.

Right, that's it sorted then. Now just everything else. Pitch?

As if I just found this out reading your post.

Has anyone ever used their impari card? I'd totally forgotten it existed until a new one arrived yesterday.

The sort of surprise package you give to somebody you hate, because it contains a gift-wrapped turd.

Bristol City, Cardiff & Bournemouth

The owls are not what they seem. wot? Twin Peaks reference surely?... Yay.

The owls are not what they seem.

I reckon Port Vale (A)

Good stuff Magpie. 16 Aug 12:45 Man Utd 1-0 Swansea 16 Aug 15:00 Leicester 0-2 Everton 16 Aug 15:00 QPR 1-1 Hull 16 Aug 15:00 Stoke 1-0 Aston Villa 16 Aug 15:00 West Brom 0-0 Sunderland 16 Aug 15:00 West Ham 1-2 Spurs 16 Aug 17:30 Arsenal 3-2 Crystal Palace 17 Aug 13:30 Liverpool 2-0 Southampton 17 Aug 16:00 Newcastle 0-2 Man City 18 Aug 20:00 Burnley 1-3 Chelsea

Go for it.

Now I'm sad I don't still live in town as it would've fit on my balcony perfectly.

Fuck, seeing that picture is the first time I've realised how massive the banners are.