Darth Crooks

Get this man a lasagne with candles on.

Mitro needs a goal from open play. He's getting ting in the right places.

The difference is galactic in comparison.

This is getting a bit too much now. Leave teeth girl alone.

Hope he shags an ugly version of that lass from Teeth

Being jack colback and Paul dummett means that they can't move forward with confidence. Very little to do with sissoko

Looks like Jonas. Want

Hope he zips his nads in his flies and has that extra unexpected dribbly bit of piss when puts his knob away - the knob.

The light shone off wor jonjos head.

Hope he paper cuts his jap whilst he reads the gushing stuff about him on the shitter.

'Itsh fine gaffer honeshtly. I'll walk it off'

I never understood the logic of signing Colback. A free transfer is only going to be good value if you sell them on. What the fuck are we waiting for? Must worth £2-3m at a push. The bloke had the jawdee pashun needed at the time. Mongs placated.

Tiote's chinese medicine practitioner

Ding ding ding ding - add a few anglo-saxons to placate the mongs and 'OMG dave chainged!!'

Reckon that could happen. I've heard he likes Scrabble tiles in his mouth, specifically the T,C and D tiles. Could spell trouble when he has a shit.

Hope he forever picks out the coffee revel.

Wouldn't particularly miss de Jong tbh

I don't think it's a particularly poor signing tbh but suggest it's just a case of Us moaning because they are not english bs then moan for the sake of it when they do its over simplistic. I want players signed to strengthen the team in the areas that are beside not because of tokenism. If they went all out to sign the likes of shawcross id see that they were addressing the real issues.

Come one indeed

Come on 2016 work your mortality magic...

Doesn't surprise me at all, Elliot's a complete bellend. Just look who wrote the article and lets compare bellends. Ok I know who wrote it now. Mines a bit pointy at the end. How about yours?

Now he's 23 is that why he now looks 46? Like Jan Koller with Botox

The second penalty call was the real travesty

He can ride my tackle anytime.

I'm your biggest fan, Your head looks so shiny and healthy Oh jonjo, jonjo Shelvey.