tom1988

terrible

Man Utd 3-1 Spurs Bournemouth 2-0 Aston Villa Everton 2-0 Watford Leicester 0-0 Sunderland Norwich 0-2 Crystal Palace Chelsea 4-1 Swansea Arsenal 5-0 West Ham Newcastle 2-2 Southampton Stoke 2-2 Liverpool West Brom 1-1 Man City

The PCSO - looks the part and is expected to play the role of an enforcer but in reality is weak as piss and gets no respect

Was thinking the same thing - since this years FM brought in all those new role types I thought it would be funny to come up with some spurious ones and assign players that match the characteristics/position.

I was under the impression that they're not the focus and therefore drift back and try to drag defenders out of position so that any one of the other talented attacking players get chances to score. This is why it works really well for Barca/Spain etc and you don't see the likes of Allardyce/Pards playing with one

On the topic of shuttlers... If ESPN said it, it must be true! http://www.espnfc.us/blog/tactics-and-analysis/67/post/2027159/is-the-diamond-formation-back-and-here-to-stay-in-european-football PS. this is an horrendous and painful article.

The false 9 plays just in front of the shuttler. Everybody knows that!

Explain... seriously! http://thefalse9.com/2013/09/football-tactics-for-beginnersthe-false-9.html

Nah, too young

I think the problem with Colo is that he's had to cover both positions as for the last however many years we've had absolute shite lined up next to him. I think if he was in a position where he could trust his partner to pull his weight and then develop a solid relationship with the left back akin to the one he had with Enrique then we may see his game improve. Colo was and in my opinion still is a classy, quality player and to be honest I don't really blame his head going over the last few years - look at what he's had to put up with, playing next to iron mike and being managed by mr hoofball pards.

*fingers crossed* please just not another Williamson/Boumsong/Cacapa/Bramble/etc

He's a fantastic player to watch The goal he scored against Chelsea in the CL last year was class

http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/22/quiz-how-well-do-you-know-your-premier-league-transfer-records-5307540/ 18/20 - the 2 I didn't get were from nothing teams that I care not a bit for. (Stoke & mackems)

Definitely. I'm mostly worried about the dead wood we've yet to shift, we all know who. I'm praying they'll clear out the cling-ons in the next couple of weeks somehow.. Who's going to take them though? As shite as they are we don't have any back up squad players or decent youth talent to bring in when half the first team are suspended and/or injured.

So with this in mind then, do you think there is a correlation between results and the games that we have played uphill second half? It must be a lot more draining towards the end of a game attacking up hill? Also, given the additional forces that sprinting (assuming our players do this from time to time) up and down hills exerts on the body, could this in theory be a viable reason behind the large number of muscular/joint injuries that our players tend to suffer?

That 20 year old has scored against top level competition in the CL, he's a lot more experienced than his age gives credit for. Anderlecht played the majority of last season with a 4-2-3-1 formation with Mitrovic up top - It wouldn't be anything he wasn't used to and I think that de Jong and Ayoze floating about being pests in the space behind would give him ample support. I think Cisse is quite 1 dimensional and wouldn't work well up front as part of a two, he can't play off the shoulder as he doesn't have the pace and is shite at holding the ball up. Playing Cisse would mean someone would have to be shifted out wide. Impact sub for me like

Bit of a strange one but how noticeable is the slope on the pitch at SJP in terms of does it feel like you're running up hill one way and down the other or is the gradient not that bad?

With the players we currently have (bar Aarons) we'd have to play very centrally with the forward players cutting inside & having the fullbacks providing the width and therefore the crosses. Krul Mbemba Colo/? Janmaat Haidara Anita Sissoko Wijnaldum Perez De Jong Mitrovic

I think that we will see a lot more of Anita this year and that he will be completely different. This is a guy that came through the Ajax set up, he can play - problem is he got pardewed! If, as has been stated, McClaren wants to pass it around rather than the kick and chase of Pards then I can see him using Anita as his DM collecting from the back and moving it forward. I still have hope that this guy has something to offer.

Haha that's great!

This place is turning into reddit.

Have we ever had any saga-y sagas that have actually resulted in us getting the guy? Debuchy. As per Wiki 'Seven months after their failed bid, English club Newcastle United signed Debuchy on a five-and-a-half-year contract on 4 January 2013, for an undisclosed fee reportedly in the region of £5.5 million. He made his debut for Newcastle on 12 January 2013 against Norwich City.' - Damn Lille and their love of hardball

Have we ever had any saga-y sagas that have actually resulted in us getting the guy?

Living in the states the time difference has a big impact on my weekend and what it means if I want to watch the game live. Saturdays match was at a very lie-in friendly 12.30pm and as I sat down to watch the latest installment of mind numbing mediocrity that is supposed to be competitive Premiership football unfold in front of my eyes a familiar glaze of almost acceptance swept over me and I found myself realising that I had come to expect us to lose and to lose badly. Now this was probably because it was Man City and away from home etc etc but it got me thinking about my relationship with the club that I have supported my entire life. I'm pretty sure that I have reached a point now where I don't really celebrate the wins anymore, because, frankly, they're meaningless. I love it when we score and hate it when we conceed (especially a last minute Peter fucking Crouch headed equaliser against Stoke!) but as for the overall result I find that it bothers me less and less. I will check the table for two things at the end of the weekend, firstly to see who's in the bottom three and secondly to see if we're still above the mackems. Where we are in relationship to the top or Europe has no bearing because as long as we're not in the bottom three nothing will change. I've tried to think of an analogy to describe how we approach the league and the season overall and I toyed with 'treading water' but ultimately felt that that was inaccurate because to tread water you'd have to put effort in and need to know the basics of being able to swim in order to stay afloat. What MA appears to be doing with Newcastle is the opposite, he's making cuts at every opportunity in order to 'streamline' everything whilst hoping that the bargain basement staff he has collected have enough between them to coax 40 points out of our depleted and ever shrinking squad. Ambition doesn't even come into the equation. I was asked the other day by my flatmate why I had bought the new FM this year given all the bugs in it etc and my answer was a simple one - I told him that on FM I manage Newcastle and I do this so that I can make them try and win games and try to finish higher up the league and try to win the cups and try to get in to Europe (not to mention try not to get dicked on by the mackems four times in a row!) It doesn't matter if I don't manage to do these things and that I have to try again the following season because I know that the ambition is there and that regardless of who we're playing we'll be trying to win. I know this doesn't really reflect much on the sporting ambition of the club and is, on the whole, a rambling mess, I am merely vocalising my own particular way that I have begun to deal with it - it appears I care more what happens to my club on a computer game than in real life and that is really quite depressing.