gbandit

Can’t fucking wait for us to sign some players, if we could get two very good players in that hit the ground running straight away then we might have a chance of staying up

Clicked on that tweet and almost all the replies were people with Ape avatars saying “Welcome to the family” sounds like a fucking cult man

That was one of the worst articles I’ve ever read. I managed six paragraphs. Couldn’t tell if the writer was an absolute freak or if they were intentionally trying to make the four creators sound like absolute losers. Disappointed that Stephen Curry got involved

Can’t wait for this knacker to be a distant memory. If no one wants him in January just pay his contract out and tell him to fuck off

Really want my daughter to pick up football, she was class at dribbling when she was 2 but she’s less coordinated now she’s 3. Are kids generally good at dribbling because of their low centre of gravity?

We need a result of any sort but I think if we want to stay alive we need to somehow inject real confidence in the team by winning by at least a couple of goals. Hard to see it as our entire season hangs on this game

Absolute nonsense

“I don’t want to put my family through that again” Bruce says as lashings of gravy and bacon fall from his leaking jowls. Bruce’s wife stares on disconsolately as he puts pen to paper on the interim caretaker role at Manchester United. “It just wouldn’t be fair on them if I didn’t take this opportunity” Bruce starts to choke as a streaky rasher of bacon catches in his throat, his fingers tightening around the pen as his eyes fill with water. Breathless, his eyes grow wider as he stumbles to the floor, his wife motionless. Bruce writhes silently as the darkness seeps into the corners of his bloodshot eyes. His wife stands over him, staring down at the contract covered in sticky welts of bacon fat. “Alex, come clear your father up, he’s made a real mess of himself.”

How the fuck does Bruce Jnr get so much press?

He was outstanding at Southampton and Spurs. Don’t know much about his time at Espanyol and I don’t follow Ligue 1. He’s only been there since January anyway. I hardly think getting to a champions league final and genuinely challenging for the league makes him hyped up

Really don’t want Poch to go to Man U, he’s a brilliant manager and the only one since Ferguson that I could see being a success

We’ve all met people like that in other walks of life, people who put the fear in you but you respect. Whatever you think of the man, he was clearly a genius communicator

I’m a 9, going down would feel shit but to be honest, we’ve got our club back. That’s what matters, I’d have taken going down to league one if it meant getting rid of Ashley. Not going to fret about relegation as we’ll come straight back up. If we do stay up though, we’ll be on a euphoric high

Conte would have been their best bet, I just think the club has that rotten feel about it like us under Ashley. Not sure anyone’s going to dramatically turn things around there but I reckon Zidane would be a total disaster

Only so long you can get away with being drunk at the wheel

That has to be that for Ole

Fuck’s sake man, couldn’t be a more NUFC thing to happen

Feeling really positive about this game, think we might nick the full 3 points. Eddie is instilling a great sense of positivity. If we can get off to a good start here I can see our fortunes transforming quickly

That frontline of Cabella, De Jong and Rivière, how many goals did they score between them?

Great guy, I have really fond memories of him even though his main skill was winning free kicks. Was a true pro

Great from Roy Keane there, we need more pundits actually saying what they think

Gerrllllllld from Kane

Absolutely class that video of training, unimaginable that we could have had that under the previous cockroach. It’s difficult readjusting to actually liking my club

Sir Alan style, they all turn up half asleep and then have to go round Newcastle finding ten items to haggle, at the end of the day Hendrick and Shelvey both get brought into the boardroom and are fired. I’d pay to watch that

Rodgers to Man U is getting a lot of media coverage, there’s supposedly a verbal agreement in place for him to take over, the question is when